Bakers Dozen

Types of residences

  1. Igloo
  2. Nipa hut, or bahay kubo
  3. Yurt
  4. Garden apartment
  5. Hogan
  6. Penthouse suite
  7. Monastery
  8. Wigwam
  9. Space station
  10. Houseboat
  11. Palace
  12. Prison

Types of residences

  1. Igloo
  2. Nipa hut, or bahay kubo
  3. Yurt
  4. Garden apartment
  5. Hogan
  6. Penthouse suite
  7. Monastery
  8. Wigwam
  9. Space station
  10. Houseboat
  11. Palace
  12. Prison
  13. Flat

One-liners by comedians.

  1. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. (Steven Wright.)

One-liners by comedians.

  1. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. (Steven Wright.)
  2. I don’t have a girlfriend. I just have someone who would be really mad if they heard me say that. (Mitch Hedberg)

One-liners by comedians.

  1. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. (Steven Wright.)
  2. I don’t have a girlfriend. I just have someone who would be really mad if they heard me say that. (Mitch Hedberg)
  3. Take my wife…please. (Henny Youngman)

One-liners by comedians.

  1. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. (Steven Wright.)
  2. I don’t have a girlfriend. I just have someone who would be really mad if they heard me say that. (Mitch Hedberg)
  3. Take my wife…please. (Henny Youngman)
  4. “[Cocaine] intensifies my personality.” Well…what if you’re an asshole? (Bill Cosby)

One-liners by comedians.

  1. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. (Steven Wright.)
  2. I don’t have a girlfriend. I just have someone who would be really mad if they heard me say that. (Mitch Hedberg)
  3. Take my wife…please. (Henny Youngman)
  4. “[Cocaine] intensifies my personality.” Well…what if you’re an asshole? (Bill Cosby)
  5. Is there another word for synonym? – George Carlin

One-liners by comedians.

  1. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. (Steven Wright.)
  2. I don’t have a girlfriend. I just have someone who would be really mad if they heard me say that. (Mitch Hedberg)
  3. Take my wife…please. (Henny Youngman)
  4. “[Cocaine] intensifies my personality.” Well…what if you’re an asshole? (Bill Cosby)
  5. Is there another word for synonym? – George Carlin
  6. Cleaning your house while your kids are growing up is like shoveling the walk while it’s still snowing - Phyllis Diller

One-liners by comedians.

  1. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. (Steven Wright.)
  2. I don’t have a girlfriend. I just have someone who would be really mad if they heard me say that. (Mitch Hedberg)
  3. Take my wife…please. (Henny Youngman)
  4. “[Cocaine] intensifies my personality.” Well…what if you’re an asshole? (Bill Cosby)
  5. Is there another word for synonym? – George Carlin
  6. Cleaning your house while your kids are growing up is like shoveling the walk while it’s still snowing - Phyllis Diller
  7. I found myself outside of a bar that said “Topless. Bottomless.” I went inside. There was no one there! – Rodney Dangerfield

One-liners by comedians.

  1. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. (Steven Wright.)
  2. I don’t have a girlfriend. I just have someone who would be really mad if they heard me say that. (Mitch Hedberg)
  3. Take my wife…please. (Henny Youngman)
  4. “[Cocaine] intensifies my personality.” Well…what if you’re an asshole? (Bill Cosby)
  5. Is there another word for synonym? – George Carlin
  6. Cleaning your house while your kids are growing up is like shoveling the walk while it’s still snowing - Phyllis Diller
  7. I found myself outside of a bar that said “Topless. Bottomless.” I went inside. There was no one there! – Rodney Dangerfield
  8. I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means “put down.” (Bob Newhart)

One-liners by comedians.

  1. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. (Steven Wright.)
  2. I don’t have a girlfriend. I just have someone who would be really mad if they heard me say that. (Mitch Hedberg)
  3. Take my wife…please. (Henny Youngman)
  4. “[Cocaine] intensifies my personality.” Well…what if you’re an asshole? (Bill Cosby)
  5. Is there another word for synonym? – George Carlin
  6. Cleaning your house while your kids are growing up is like shoveling the walk while it’s still snowing - Phyllis Diller
  7. I found myself outside of a bar that said “Topless. Bottomless.” I went inside. There was no one there! – Rodney Dangerfield
  8. I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means “put down.” (Bob Newhart)
  9. “Kids these days start having sex so young, they got birth control pills shaped like Fred Flintstone.” - Rodney Dangerfield

One-liners by comedians.

  1. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. (Steven Wright.)
  2. I don’t have a girlfriend. I just have someone who would be really mad if they heard me say that. (Mitch Hedberg)
  3. Take my wife…please. (Henny Youngman)
  4. “[Cocaine] intensifies my personality.” Well…what if you’re an asshole? (Bill Cosby)
  5. Is there another word for synonym? – George Carlin
  6. Cleaning your house while your kids are growing up is like shoveling the walk while it’s still snowing - Phyllis Diller
  7. I found myself outside of a bar that said “Topless. Bottomless.” I went inside. There was no one there! – Rodney Dangerfield
  8. I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means “put down.” (Bob Newhart)
  9. “Kids these days start having sex so young, they got birth control pills shaped like Fred Flintstone.” - Rodney Dangerfield
  10. My brother says “Hello.” Hooray for speech therapy! - Emo Philips

One-liners by comedians.

  1. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. (Steven Wright.)
  2. I don’t have a girlfriend. I just have someone who would be really mad if they heard me say that. (Mitch Hedberg)
  3. Take my wife…please. (Henny Youngman)
  4. “[Cocaine] intensifies my personality.” Well…what if you’re an asshole? (Bill Cosby)
  5. Is there another word for synonym? – George Carlin
  6. Cleaning your house while your kids are growing up is like shoveling the walk while it’s still snowing - Phyllis Diller
  7. I found myself outside of a bar that said “Topless. Bottomless.” I went inside. There was no one there! – Rodney Dangerfield
  8. I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means “put down.” (Bob Newhart)
  9. “Kids these days start having sex so young, they got birth control pills shaped like Fred Flintstone.” - Rodney Dangerfield
  10. My brother says “Hello.” Hooray for speech therapy! - Emo Philips
  11. “I never forget a face- but in your case, I’ll make an exception.” - Groucho Marx

One-liners by comedians.

  1. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. (Steven Wright.)
  2. I don’t have a girlfriend. I just have someone who would be really mad if they heard me say that. (Mitch Hedberg)
  3. Take my wife…please. (Henny Youngman)
  4. “[Cocaine] intensifies my personality.” Well…what if you’re an asshole? (Bill Cosby)
  5. Is there another word for synonym? – George Carlin
  6. Cleaning your house while your kids are growing up is like shoveling the walk while it’s still snowing - Phyllis Diller
  7. I found myself outside of a bar that said “Topless. Bottomless.” I went inside. There was no one there! – Rodney Dangerfield
  8. I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means “put down.” (Bob Newhart)
  9. “Kids these days start having sex so young, they got birth control pills shaped like Fred Flintstone.” - Rodney Dangerfield
  10. My brother says “Hello.” Hooray for speech therapy! - Emo Philips
  11. “I never forget a face- but in your case, I’ll make an exception.” - Groucho Marx
  12. All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I’d be standing on the breadline…right in back of J. Edgar Hoover. (Lenny Bruce)

One-liners by comedians.

  1. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. (Steven Wright.)
  2. I don’t have a girlfriend. I just have someone who would be really mad if they heard me say that. (Mitch Hedberg)
  3. Take my wife…please. (Henny Youngman)
  4. “[Cocaine] intensifies my personality.” Well…what if you’re an asshole? (Bill Cosby)
  5. Is there another word for synonym? – George Carlin
  6. Cleaning your house while your kids are growing up is like shoveling the walk while it’s still snowing - Phyllis Diller
  7. I found myself outside of a bar that said “Topless. Bottomless.” I went inside. There was no one there! – Rodney Dangerfield
  8. I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means “put down.” (Bob Newhart)
  9. “Kids these days start having sex so young, they got birth control pills shaped like Fred Flintstone.” - Rodney Dangerfield
  10. My brother says “Hello.” Hooray for speech therapy! - Emo Philips
  11. “I never forget a face- but in your case, I’ll make an exception.” - Groucho Marx
  12. All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I’d be standing on the breadline…right in back of J. Edgar Hoover. (Lenny Bruce)
  13. “If everything is an illusion and nothing exists… then I definitely overpaid for my carpet.” - Woody Allen

Pass

Funny Quotes From Non-Comedians

  1. I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. (Dolly Parton)

Funny Quotes From Non-Comedians

  1. I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. (Dolly Parton)
  2. “My father sent me this telegram: Don’t buy any more votes than you have to- I’m not paying for a damn landslide!” - John F. Kennedy

Funny Quotes From Non-Comedians

  1. I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. (Dolly Parton)
  2. “My father sent me this telegram: Don’t buy any more votes than you have to- I’m not paying for a damn landslide!” - John F. Kennedy
  3. The most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the government and I’m here to help. - Ronald Reagan

Funny Quotes From Non-Comedians

  1. I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton
  2. “My father sent me this telegram: Don’t buy any more votes than you have to- I’m not paying for a damn landslide!” - John F. Kennedy
  3. The most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the government and I’m here to help. - Ronald Reagan
  4. “It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.” - Hank Aaron

Funny Quotes From Non-Comedians

  1. I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton
  2. “My father sent me this telegram: Don’t buy any more votes than you have to- I’m not paying for a damn landslide!” - John F. Kennedy
  3. The most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the government and I’m here to help. - Ronald Reagan
  4. “It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.” - Hank Aaron
  5. “You know why music critics love Elvis Costello? Because most music critics LOOK like bleeping Elvis Costello!” - David Lee Roth

Funny Quotes From Non-Comedians

  1. I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton
  2. “My father sent me this telegram: Don’t buy any more votes than you have to- I’m not paying for a damn landslide!” - John F. Kennedy
  3. The most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the government and I’m here to help. - Ronald Reagan
  4. “It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.” - Hank Aaron
  5. “You know why music critics love Elvis Costello? Because most music critics LOOK like bleeping Elvis Costello!” - David Lee Roth
  6. “If I had two faces, do you think I’d be wearing this one?” - Abraham Lincoln, when accused by a rival politician of being two-faced