Bakers Dozen

People seeking the Republican Presidential nomination

  1. Jeb Bush
  2. Chris Christie
  3. George Pataki
  4. Mike Huckabee
  5. Donald “Hairpiece” Trump
  6. Carly Fiorina
  7. Ted “Crazy as a shit-house rat” Cruz
  8. Lindsey “I haven’t met the right woman yet” Graham
  9. Marco Rubio
  10. Skip Andrews
  11. My mother. (At least she says she is, and she’s probably more qualified than some of these people.)

People seeking the Republican Presidential nomination

  1. Jeb Bush
  2. Chris Christie
  3. George Pataki
  4. Mike Huckabee
  5. Donald “Hairpiece” Trump
  6. Carly Fiorina
  7. Ted “Crazy as a shit-house rat” Cruz
  8. Lindsey “I haven’t met the right woman yet” Graham
  9. Marco Rubio
  10. Skip Andrews
  11. My mother. (At least she says she is, and she’s probably more qualified than some of these people.)
  12. Jim Gilmore (no joke, he really is)

People seeking the Republican Presidential nomination

  1. Jeb Bush
  2. Chris Christie
  3. George Pataki
  4. Mike Huckabee
  5. Donald “Hairpiece” Trump
  6. Carly Fiorina
  7. Ted “Crazy as a shit-house rat” Cruz
  8. Lindsey “I haven’t met the right woman yet” Graham
  9. Marco Rubio
  10. Skip Andrews
  11. My mother. (At least she says she is, and she’s probably more qualified than some of these people.)
  12. Jim Gilmore (no joke, he really is)
  13. Rick Perry

I’ll pass

Stereotypes about citizens of other countries

  1. France: Prone to surrender too soon; great lovers; poor hygiene

Stereotypes about citizens of other countries

  1. France: Prone to surrender too soon; great lovers; poor hygiene
  2. Ireland: Prone to drink to excess; love to fight; fond of the color green

Stereotypes about citizens of other countries

  1. France: Prone to surrender too soon; great lovers; poor hygiene
  2. Ireland: Prone to drink to excess; love to fight; fond of the color green
  3. Italy: Politically corrupt; reckless drivers; make passes at every woman they meet
  1. France: Prone to surrender too soon; great lovers; poor hygiene
  2. Ireland: Prone to drink to excess; love to fight; fond of the color green
  3. Italy: Politically corrupt; reckless drivers; make passes at every woman they meet
  4. Germany: Direct and overly structured people who love sausage, sauerkraut, beer, and occasionally invading other countries.
  1. France: Prone to surrender too soon; great lovers; poor hygiene
  2. Ireland: Prone to drink to excess; love to fight; fond of the color green
  3. Italy: Politically corrupt; reckless drivers; make passes at every woman they meet
  4. Germany: Direct and overly structured people who love sausage, sauerkraut, beer, and occasionally invading other countries.
  5. Canada: very polite people, eh?; sorry about the poor quality of USA beer; looking forward to global warming

Stereotypes about citizens of other countries

  1. France: Prone to surrender too soon; great lovers; poor hygiene
  2. Ireland: Prone to drink to excess; love to fight; fond of the color green
  3. Italy: Politically corrupt; reckless drivers; make passes at every woman they meet
  4. Germany: Direct and overly structured people who love sausage, sauerkraut, beer, and occasionally invading other countries.
  5. Canada: very polite people, eh?; sorry about the poor quality of USA beer; looking forward to global warming
  6. England: Bad teeth; love tea; either “veddy proper” or soccer hooligans.

Stereotypes about citizens of other countries

  1. France: Prone to surrender too soon; great lovers; poor hygiene
  2. Ireland: Prone to drink to excess; love to fight; fond of the color green
  3. Italy: Politically corrupt; reckless drivers; make passes at every woman they meet
  4. Germany: Direct and overly structured people who love sausage, sauerkraut, beer, and occasionally invading other countries.
  5. Canada: very polite people, eh?; sorry about the poor quality of USA beer; looking forward to global warming
  6. England: Bad teeth; love tea; either “veddy proper” or soccer hooligans.
  7. America: Fat; boorish; insular; both oversexed and puritanical

Stereotypes about citizens of other countries

  1. France: Prone to surrender too soon; great lovers; poor hygiene
  2. Ireland: Prone to drink to excess; love to fight; fond of the color green
  3. Italy: Politically corrupt; reckless drivers; make passes at every woman they meet
  4. Germany: Direct and overly structured people who love sausage, sauerkraut, beer, and occasionally invading other countries.
  5. Canada: very polite people, eh?; sorry about the poor quality of USA beer; looking forward to global warming
  6. England: Bad teeth; love tea; either “veddy proper” or soccer hooligans.
  7. America: Fat; boorish; insular; both oversexed and puritanical
  8. Sweden: Everybody’s blond, blue-eyed; run around naked in the snow; they end all their sentences sounding like a Valley Girl; have sex with anyone, any time, anywhere.

Stereotypes about citizens of other countries

  1. France: Prone to surrender too soon; great lovers; poor hygiene
  2. Ireland: Prone to drink to excess; love to fight; fond of the color green
  3. Italy: Politically corrupt; reckless drivers; make passes at every woman they meet
  4. Germany: Direct and overly structured people who love sausage, sauerkraut, beer, and occasionally invading other countries.
  5. Canada: very polite people, eh?; sorry about the poor quality of USA beer; looking forward to global warming
  6. England: Bad teeth; love tea; either “veddy proper” or soccer hooligans.
  7. America: Fat; boorish; insular; both oversexed and puritanical
  8. Sweden: Everybody’s blond, blue-eyed; run around naked in the snow; they end all their sentences sounding like a Valley Girl; have sex with anyone, any time, anywhere.
  9. Australians: loud, boisterous, cheery, extremely fond of beer, and all live in the Outback

Stereotypes about citizens of other countries

  1. France: Prone to surrender too soon; great lovers; poor hygiene
  2. Ireland: Prone to drink to excess; love to fight; fond of the color green
  3. Italy: Politically corrupt; reckless drivers; make passes at every woman they meet
  4. Germany: Direct and overly structured people who love sausage, sauerkraut, beer, and occasionally invading other countries.
  5. Canada: very polite people, eh?; sorry about the poor quality of USA beer; looking forward to global warming
  6. England: Bad teeth; love tea; either “veddy proper” or soccer hooligans.
  7. America: Fat; boorish; insular; both oversexed and puritanical
  8. Sweden: Everybody’s blond, blue-eyed; run around naked in the snow; they end all their sentences sounding like a Valley Girl; have sex with anyone, any time, anywhere.
  9. Australians: loud, boisterous, cheery, extremely fond of beer, and all live in the Outback
  10. Russia: wear heavy coats and fur hats, speak English without articles, love to spy on America

Stereotypes about citizens of other countries

  1. France: Prone to surrender too soon; great lovers; poor hygiene
  2. Ireland: Prone to drink to excess; love to fight; fond of the color green
  3. Italy: Politically corrupt; reckless drivers; make passes at every woman they meet
  4. Germany: Direct and overly structured people who love sausage, sauerkraut, beer, and occasionally invading other countries.
  5. Canada: very polite people, eh?; sorry about the poor quality of USA beer; looking forward to global warming
  6. England: Bad teeth; love tea; either “veddy proper” or soccer hooligans.
  7. America: Fat; boorish; insular; both oversexed and puritanical
  8. Sweden: Everybody’s blond, blue-eyed; run around naked in the snow; they end all their sentences sounding like a Valley Girl; have sex with anyone, any time, anywhere.
  9. Australians: loud, boisterous, cheery, extremely fond of beer, and all live in the Outback
  10. Russia: wear heavy coats and fur hats, speak English without articles, love to spy on America
  11. Switzerland: slightly dull, ruthlessly efficient, employed in either the chocolate or horological industries

Stereotypes about citizens of other countries

  1. France: Prone to surrender too soon; great lovers; poor hygiene
  2. Ireland: Prone to drink to excess; love to fight; fond of the color green
  3. Italy: Politically corrupt; reckless drivers; make passes at every woman they meet
  4. Germany: Direct and overly structured people who love sausage, sauerkraut, beer, and occasionally invading other countries.
  5. Canada: very polite people, eh?; sorry about the poor quality of USA beer; looking forward to global warming
  6. England: Bad teeth; love tea; either “veddy proper” or soccer hooligans.
  7. America: Fat; boorish; insular; both oversexed and puritanical
  8. Sweden: Everybody’s blond, blue-eyed; run around naked in the snow; they end all their sentences sounding like a Valley Girl; have sex with anyone, any time, anywhere.
  9. Australians: loud, boisterous, cheery, extremely fond of beer, and all live in the Outback
  10. Russia: wear heavy coats and fur hats, speak English without articles, love to spy on America
  11. Switzerland: slightly dull, ruthlessly efficient, employed in either the chocolate or horological industries
  12. North Korea: malnourished, exploited, overworked, propaganda-led

Stereotypes about citizens of other countries

  1. France: Prone to surrender too soon; great lovers; poor hygiene
  2. Ireland: Prone to drink to excess; love to fight; fond of the color green
  3. Italy: Politically corrupt; reckless drivers; make passes at every woman they meet
  4. Germany: Direct and overly structured people who love sausage, sauerkraut, beer, and occasionally invading other countries.
  5. Canada: very polite people, eh?; sorry about the poor quality of USA beer; looking forward to global warming
  6. England: Bad teeth; love tea; either “veddy proper” or soccer hooligans.
  7. America: Fat; boorish; insular; both oversexed and puritanical
  8. Sweden: Everybody’s blond, blue-eyed; run around naked in the snow; they end all their sentences sounding like a Valley Girl; have sex with anyone, any time, anywhere.
  9. Australians: loud, boisterous, cheery, extremely fond of beer, and all live in the Outback
  10. Russia: wear heavy coats and fur hats, speak English without articles, love to spy on America
  11. Switzerland: slightly dull, ruthlessly efficient, employed in either the chocolate or horological industries
  12. North Korea: malnourished, exploited, overworked, propaganda-led
  13. Japanese: Excrutiatingly polite; crazy about anime; very strange sexual fetishes.

Pass.

Next: Pretty useless super powers.

  1. X-Ray vision that only works on glass.

Pretty useless super powers.

  1. X-Ray vision that only works on glass.
  2. The ability to crawl up floors

Pretty useless super powers.

  1. X-Ray vision that only works on glass.
  2. The ability to crawl up floors
  3. Perfect 20-20 Hindsight

Pretty useless super powers.

  1. X-Ray vision that only works on glass.
  2. The ability to crawl up floors
  3. Perfect 20-20 Hindsight
  4. Time travel: I can go an hour into the future in just 60 minutes!