Bakers Dozen

Thread Games
49786

Props Associated With Standup Comedians

  1. Judy Tenuta: Accordion
  2. Jack Benny: Violin
  3. Gallagher: Giant mallet
  4. Steve Martin: Banjo and gag arrow-through-the-head
  5. Rip Taylor: Confetti
  6. Will Rogers: Lariat
49787

Props Associated With Standup Comedians

  1. Judy Tenuta: Accordion
  2. Jack Benny: Violin
  3. Gallagher: Giant mallet
  4. Steve Martin: Banjo and gag arrow-through-the-head
  5. Rip Taylor: Confetti
  6. Will Rogers: Lariat
  7. Groucho Marx: Cigar and painted mustache
49788

Props Associated With Standup Comedians

  1. Judy Tenuta: Accordion
  2. Jack Benny: Violin
  3. Gallagher: Giant mallet
  4. Steve Martin: Banjo and gag arrow-through-the-head
  5. Rip Taylor: Confetti
  6. Will Rogers: Lariat
  7. Groucho Marx: Cigar and painted mustache
  8. Bob Hope: Golf club
49789

Props Associated With Standup Comedians

  1. Judy Tenuta: Accordion
  2. Jack Benny: Violin
  3. Gallagher: Giant mallet
  4. Steve Martin: Banjo and gag arrow-through-the-head
  5. Rip Taylor: Confetti
  6. Will Rogers: Lariat
  7. Groucho Marx: Cigar and painted mustache
  8. Bob Hope: Golf club
  9. Henry Youngman: Violin
49790

Props Associated With Standup Comedians

  1. Judy Tenuta: Accordion
  2. Jack Benny: Violin
  3. Gallagher: Giant mallet
  4. Steve Martin: Banjo and gag arrow-through-the-head
  5. Rip Taylor: Confetti
  6. Will Rogers: Lariat
  7. Groucho Marx: Cigar and painted mustache
  8. Bob Hope: Golf club
  9. Henry Youngman: Violin
  10. Orson Bean – Newspaper Eucalyptus Tree
49791

Props Associated With Standup Comedians

  1. Judy Tenuta: Accordion
  2. Jack Benny: Violin
  3. Gallagher: Giant mallet
  4. Steve Martin: Banjo and gag arrow-through-the-head
  5. Rip Taylor: Confetti
  6. Will Rogers: Lariat
  7. Groucho Marx: Cigar and painted mustache
  8. Bob Hope: Golf club
  9. Henry Youngman: Violin
  10. Orson Bean – Newspaper Eucalyptus Tree
  11. Tommy Cooper: Fez
49792

Props Associated With Standup Comedians

  1. Judy Tenuta: Accordion
  2. Jack Benny: Violin
  3. Gallagher: Giant mallet
  4. Steve Martin: Banjo and gag arrow-through-the-head
  5. Rip Taylor: Confetti
  6. Will Rogers: Lariat
  7. Groucho Marx: Cigar and painted mustache
  8. Bob Hope: Golf club
  9. Henry Youngman: Violin
  10. Orson Bean – Newspaper Eucalyptus Tree
  11. Tommy Cooper: Fez
  12. Dean Martin - martini and cigarette
49793

Props Associated With Standup Comedians

  1. Judy Tenuta: Accordion
  2. Jack Benny: Violin
  3. Gallagher: Giant mallet
  4. Steve Martin: Banjo and gag arrow-through-the-head
  5. Rip Taylor: Confetti
  6. Will Rogers: Lariat
  7. Groucho Marx: Cigar and painted mustache
  8. Bob Hope: Golf club
  9. Henry Youngman: Violin
  10. Orson Bean – Newspaper Eucalyptus Tree
  11. Tommy Cooper: Fez
  12. Dean Martin - martini and cigarette
  13. Kevin Meaney - microphone

New! One-liners or zingers

  1. If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised. - Dorothy Parker
49794

One-liners or zingers

  1. If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised. - Dorothy Parker
  2. I’ve had a lovely evening. It wasn’t tonight, but I’ve had a lovely evening. - Groucho Marx
49795

One-liners or zingers

  1. If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised. - Dorothy Parker
  2. I’ve had a lovely evening. It wasn’t tonight, but I’ve had a lovely evening. - Groucho Marx
  3. If hard work were such a wonderful thing, the rich would keep it all to themselves – Labor leader Lane Kirkland
49796

One-liners or zingers

  1. If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised. - Dorothy Parker
  2. I’ve had a lovely evening. It wasn’t tonight, but I’ve had a lovely evening. - Groucho Marx
  3. If hard work were such a wonderful thing, the rich would keep it all to themselves – Labor leader Lane Kirkland
  4. If I had two faces, do you think I’d be wearing this one? - Abraham Lincoln

When accused by a political foe of being “two-faced.”

49797

One-liners or zingers

  1. If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised. - Dorothy Parker
  2. I’ve had a lovely evening. It wasn’t tonight, but I’ve had a lovely evening. - Groucho Marx
  3. If hard work were such a wonderful thing, the rich would keep it all to themselves – Labor leader Lane Kirkland
  4. If I had two faces, do you think I’d be wearing this one? - Abraham Lincoln
  5. Listen, Shorty- and I don’t mean your height… -Pudgie
49798

One-liners or zingers

  1. If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised. - Dorothy Parker
  2. I’ve had a lovely evening. It wasn’t tonight, but I’ve had a lovely evening. - Groucho Marx
  3. If hard work were such a wonderful thing, the rich would keep it all to themselves – Labor leader Lane Kirkland
  4. If I had two faces, do you think I’d be wearing this one? - Abraham Lincoln
  5. Listen, Shorty- and I don’t mean your height… -Pudgie
  6. I love my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while. - Groucho Marx

Said in response to a contestant on his game show who was the father of 10. Probably his all-time best one-liner.

49799

One-liners or zingers

  1. If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised. - Dorothy Parker
  2. I’ve had a lovely evening. It wasn’t tonight, but I’ve had a lovely evening. - Groucho Marx
  3. If hard work were such a wonderful thing, the rich would keep it all to themselves – Labor leader Lane Kirkland
  4. If I had two faces, do you think I’d be wearing this one? - Abraham Lincoln
  5. Listen, Shorty- and I don’t mean your height… -Pudgie
  6. I love my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while. - Groucho Marx
  7. Tell him I was too fucking busy – or vice versa. - Dorothy Parker
49800

One-liners or zingers

  1. If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised. - Dorothy Parker
  2. I’ve had a lovely evening. It wasn’t tonight, but I’ve had a lovely evening. - Groucho Marx
  3. If hard work were such a wonderful thing, the rich would keep it all to themselves – Labor leader Lane Kirkland
  4. If I had two faces, do you think I’d be wearing this one? - Abraham Lincoln
  5. Listen, Shorty- and I don’t mean your height… -Pudgie
  6. I love my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while. - Groucho Marx
  7. Tell him I was too fucking busy – or vice versa. - Dorothy Parker
  8. Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
49801

The Perfect Master sez probably not: Did Groucho Marx utter a famous double entendre ad lib on the air? - The Straight Dope

Maybe, maybe not: Outside of a Dog, a Book is Man’s Best Friend. Inside of a Dog, It’s Too Dark to Read – Quote Investigator®

One-liners or zingers

  1. If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised. - Dorothy Parker
  2. I’ve had a lovely evening. It wasn’t tonight, but I’ve had a lovely evening. - Groucho Marx
  3. If hard work were such a wonderful thing, the rich would keep it all to themselves – Labor leader Lane Kirkland
  4. If I had two faces, do you think I’d be wearing this one? - Abraham Lincoln
  5. Listen, Shorty- and I don’t mean your height… -Pudgie
  6. I love my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while. - Groucho Marx
  7. Tell him I was too fucking busy – or vice versa. - Dorothy Parker
  8. Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
  9. He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces. - Mark Twain
49802

Maybe, maybe not: Outside of a Dog, a Book is Man’s Best Friend. Inside of a Dog, It’s Too Dark to Read – Quote Investigator®

One-liners or zingers

  1. If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised. - Dorothy Parker
  2. I’ve had a lovely evening. It wasn’t tonight, but I’ve had a lovely evening. - Groucho Marx
  3. If hard work were such a wonderful thing, the rich would keep it all to themselves – Labor leader Lane Kirkland
  4. If I had two faces, do you think I’d be wearing this one? - Abraham Lincoln
  5. Listen, Shorty- and I don’t mean your height… -Pudgie
  6. I love my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while. - Groucho Marx
  7. Tell him I was too fucking busy – or vice versa. - Dorothy Parker
  8. Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
  9. He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces. - Mark Twain
  10. “Shut up”, he explained. – Ring Lardner
49803

One-liners or zingers

  1. If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised. - Dorothy Parker
  2. I’ve had a lovely evening. It wasn’t tonight, but I’ve had a lovely evening. - Groucho Marx
  3. If hard work were such a wonderful thing, the rich would keep it all to themselves – Labor leader Lane Kirkland
  4. If I had two faces, do you think I’d be wearing this one? - Abraham Lincoln
  5. Listen, Shorty- and I don’t mean your height… -Pudgie
  6. I love my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while. - Groucho Marx
  7. Tell him I was too fucking busy – or vice versa. - Dorothy Parker
  8. Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
  9. He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces. - Mark Twain
  10. “Shut up”, he explained. – Ring Lardner
  11. Geography is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it. - Terry Pratchett
49804

One-liners or zingers

  1. If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised. - Dorothy Parker
  2. I’ve had a lovely evening. It wasn’t tonight, but I’ve had a lovely evening. - Groucho Marx
  3. If hard work were such a wonderful thing, the rich would keep it all to themselves – Labor leader Lane Kirkland
  4. If I had two faces, do you think I’d be wearing this one? - Abraham Lincoln
  5. Listen, Shorty- and I don’t mean your height… -Pudgie
  6. I love my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while. - Groucho Marx
  7. Tell him I was too fucking busy – or vice versa. - Dorothy Parker
  8. Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
  9. He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces. - Mark Twain
  10. “Shut up”, he explained. – Ring Lardner
  11. Geography is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it. - Terry Pratchett
  12. Having sex is like bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand. - Woody Allen
49805

One-liners or zingers

  1. If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised. - Dorothy Parker
  2. I’ve had a lovely evening. It wasn’t tonight, but I’ve had a lovely evening. - Groucho Marx
  3. If hard work were such a wonderful thing, the rich would keep it all to themselves – Labor leader Lane Kirkland
  4. If I had two faces, do you think I’d be wearing this one? - Abraham Lincoln
  5. Listen, Shorty- and I don’t mean your height… -Pudgie
  6. I love my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while. - Groucho Marx
  7. Tell him I was too fucking busy – or vice versa. - Dorothy Parker
  8. Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
  9. He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces. - Mark Twain
  10. “Shut up”, he explained. – Ring Lardner
  11. Geography is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it. - Terry Pratchett
  12. Having sex is like bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand. - Woody Allen
  13. As nervous as a Christian Scientist with appendicitis. - Tom Lehrer

A beautiful, warmish sunny day, in the middle of Winter, deserves a ride in the country, and to top it off, a great meal. Gimme’ a meal for such a splendid day.