Bakers Dozen

Best One-Liner “Dad” jokes

  1. When somebody asks my dad how he feels, he always replies, “With my hands.”
  2. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
  3. When someone says, “Can I ask you a question?” I always reply, “You just did.”
  4. My buddy bragged to his dad, “Down at college we drink beer like it was water.” Came the reply, “The only problem is it makes you drunk like it was beer.”
  5. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity: it’s impossible to put it down.

Best One-Liner “Dad” jokes

  1. When somebody asks my dad how he feels, he always replies, “With my hands.”
  2. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
  3. When someone says, “Can I ask you a question?” I always reply, “You just did.”
  4. My buddy bragged to his dad, “Down at college we drink beer like it was water.” Came the reply, “The only problem is it makes you drunk like it was beer.”
  5. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity: it’s impossible to put it down.
  6. My dad never took us to Disneyland because he said* it was a real Mickey Mouse outfit.
    *repeatedly, all throughout our childhood

Best One-Liner “Dad” jokes

  1. When somebody asks my dad how he feels, he always replies, “With my hands.”
  2. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
  3. When someone says, “Can I ask you a question?” I always reply, “You just did.”
  4. My buddy bragged to his dad, “Down at college we drink beer like it was water.” Came the reply, “The only problem is it makes you drunk like it was beer.”
  5. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity: it’s impossible to put it down.
  6. My dad never took us to Disneyland because he said* it was a real Mickey Mouse outfit.
  7. Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies!

Best One-Liner “Dad” jokes

  1. When somebody asks my dad how he feels, he always replies, “With my hands.”
  2. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
  3. When someone says, “Can I ask you a question?” I always reply, “You just did.”
  4. My buddy bragged to his dad, “Down at college we drink beer like it was water.” Came the reply, “The only problem is it makes you drunk like it was beer.”
  5. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity: it’s impossible to put it down.
  6. My dad never took us to Disneyland because he said* it was a real Mickey Mouse outfit.
  7. Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies!
  8. Rectum!? Damn near killed’em!!

Best One-Liner “Dad” jokes

  1. When somebody asks my dad how he feels, he always replies, “With my hands.”
  2. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
  3. When someone says, “Can I ask you a question?” I always reply, “You just did.”
  4. My buddy bragged to his dad, “Down at college we drink beer like it was water.” Came the reply, “The only problem is it makes you drunk like it was beer.”
  5. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity: it’s impossible to put it down.
  6. My dad never took us to Disneyland because he said it was a real Mickey Mouse outfit.
  7. Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies!
  8. Rectum!? Damn near killed’em!!
  9. Did you hear NASA decided not to put a bar in the International Space Station? Yeah, no atmosphere.

Best One-Liner “Dad” jokes

  1. When somebody asks my dad how he feels, he always replies, “With my hands.”
  2. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
  3. When someone says, “Can I ask you a question?” I always reply, “You just did.”
  4. My buddy bragged to his dad, “Down at college we drink beer like it was water.” Came the reply, “The only problem is it makes you drunk like it was beer.”
  5. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity: it’s impossible to put it down.
  6. My dad never took us to Disneyland because he said it was a real Mickey Mouse outfit.
  7. Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies!
  8. Rectum!? Damn near killed’em!!
  9. Did you hear NASA decided not to put a bar in the International Space Station? Yeah, no atmosphere.
  10. Did you take a shower today? Why, is one missing?

Best One-Liner “Dad” jokes

  1. When somebody asks my dad how he feels, he always replies, “With my hands.”
  2. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
  3. When someone says, “Can I ask you a question?” I always reply, “You just did.”
  4. My buddy bragged to his dad, “Down at college we drink beer like it was water.” Came the reply, “The only problem is it makes you drunk like it was beer.”
  5. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity: it’s impossible to put it down.
  6. My dad never took us to Disneyland because he said it was a real Mickey Mouse outfit.
  7. Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies!
  8. Rectum!? Damn near killed’em!!
  9. Did you hear NASA decided not to put a bar in the International Space Station? Yeah, no atmosphere.
  10. Did you take a shower today? Why, is one missing?
  11. What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!

Best One-Liner “Dad” jokes

  1. When somebody asks my dad how he feels, he always replies, “With my hands.”
  2. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
  3. When someone says, “Can I ask you a question?” I always reply, “You just did.”
  4. My buddy bragged to his dad, “Down at college we drink beer like it was water.” Came the reply, “The only problem is it makes you drunk like it was beer.”
  5. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity: it’s impossible to put it down.
  6. My dad never took us to Disneyland because he said it was a real Mickey Mouse outfit.
  7. Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies!
  8. Rectum!? Damn near killed’em!!
  9. Did you hear NASA decided not to put a bar in the International Space Station? Yeah, no atmosphere.
  10. Did you take a shower today? Why, is one missing?
  11. What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!
  12. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Although I guess dung would be true for that one as well.

Best One-Liner “Dad” jokes

  1. When somebody asks my dad how he feels, he always replies, “With my hands.”
  2. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
  3. When someone says, “Can I ask you a question?” I always reply, “You just did.”
  4. My buddy bragged to his dad, “Down at college we drink beer like it was water.” Came the reply, “The only problem is it makes you drunk like it was beer.”
  5. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity: it’s impossible to put it down.
  6. My dad never took us to Disneyland because he said it was a real Mickey Mouse outfit.
  7. Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies!
  8. Rectum!? Damn near killed’em!!
  9. Did you hear NASA decided not to put a bar in the International Space Station? Yeah, no atmosphere.
  10. Did you take a shower today? Why, is one missing?
  11. What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!
  12. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
  13. What’s blue and comely? Monica Lewinsky’s dress.

Next up: Finally! 13 sex partners of the main Big Bang male characters.

  1. Mrs. Latham (Leonard)

Next up: Finally! 13 sex partners of the main Big Bang male characters.

  1. Mrs. Latham (Leonard)
  2. Mrs. Amy Cooper (née Amy Farrah-Fowler) (Sheldon)

Finally! 13 sex partners of the main Big Bang male characters.

  1. Mrs. Latham (Leonard)
  2. Mrs. Amy Cooper (née Amy Farrah-Fowler) (Sheldon)
  3. Penny (Raj)

Finally! 13 sex partners of the main Big Bang male characters.

  1. Mrs. Latham (Leonard)
  2. Mrs. Amy Cooper (née Amy Farrah-Fowler) (Sheldon)
  3. Penny (Raj)
  4. Leslie Winkle (Leonard)

Finally! 13 sex partners of the main Big Bang male characters.

  1. Mrs. Latham (Leonard)
  2. Mrs. Amy Cooper (née Amy Farrah-Fowler) (Sheldon)
  3. Penny (Raj)
  4. Leslie Winkle (Leonard)
  5. Robot arm (Howard)

Finally! 13 sex partners of the main Big Bang male characters.

  1. Mrs. Latham (Leonard)
  2. Mrs. Amy Cooper (née Amy Farrah-Fowler) (Sheldon)
  3. Penny (Raj)
  4. Leslie Winkle (Leonard)
  5. Robot arm (Howard)
  6. Dr. Stephanie Barnett (Leonard)

Finally! 13 sex partners of the main Big Bang male characters.

  1. Mrs. Latham (Leonard)
  2. Mrs. Amy Cooper (née Amy Farrah-Fowler) (Sheldon)
  3. Penny (Raj)
  4. Leslie Winkle (Leonard)
  5. Robot arm (Howard)
  6. Dr. Stephanie Barnett (Leonard)
  7. Jeannie, his second cousin (Howard)

Finally! 13 sex partners of the main Big Bang male characters.

  1. Mrs. Latham (Leonard)
  2. Mrs. Amy Cooper (née Amy Farrah-Fowler) (Sheldon)
  3. Penny (Raj)
  4. Leslie Winkle (Leonard)
  5. Robot arm (Howard)
  6. Dr. Stephanie Barnett (Leonard)
  7. Jeannie, his second cousin (Howard)
  8. Bernadette (Howard)

Finally! 13 sex partners of the main Big Bang male characters.

  1. Mrs. Latham (Leonard)
  2. Mrs. Amy Cooper (née Amy Farrah-Fowler) (Sheldon)
  3. Penny (Raj)
  4. Leslie Winkle (Leonard & Howard)
  5. Robot arm (Howard)
  6. Dr. Stephanie Barnett (Leonard)
  7. Jeannie, his second cousin (Howard)
  8. Bernadette (Howard)
  9. Christie (Howard)

Finally! 13 sex partners of the main Big Bang male characters.

  1. Mrs. Latham (Leonard)
  2. Mrs. Amy Cooper (née Amy Farrah-Fowler) (Sheldon)
  3. Penny (Raj)
  4. Leslie Winkle (Leonard)
  5. Robot arm (Howard)
  6. Dr. Stephanie Barnett (Leonard)
  7. Jeannie, his second cousin (Howard)
  8. Bernadette (Howard)
  9. Penny (Leonard)

Finally! 13 sex partners of the main Big Bang male characters.

  1. Mrs. Latham (Leonard)
  2. Mrs. Amy Cooper (née Amy Farrah-Fowler) (Sheldon)
  3. Penny (Raj)
  4. Leslie Winkle (Leonard)
  5. Robot arm (Howard)
  6. Dr. Stephanie Barnett (Leonard)
  7. Jeannie, his second cousin (Howard)
  8. Bernadette (Howard)
  9. Penny (Leonard)
  10. Emily Sweeney (Raj)

Finally! 13 sex partners of the main Big Bang male characters.

  1. Mrs. Latham (Leonard)
  2. Mrs. Amy Cooper (née Amy Farrah-Fowler) (Sheldon)
  3. Penny (Raj)
  4. Leslie Winkle (Leonard)
  5. Robot arm (Howard)
  6. Dr. Stephanie Barnett (Leonard)
  7. Jeannie, his second cousin (Howard)
  8. Bernadette (Howard)
  9. Penny (Leonard)
  10. Emily Sweeney (Raj)
  11. Mrs. Wolowitz and her dentist