“Aw, man. I really thought Santorum had a shot there for awhile.”
“You filed the re-election papers before last week’s deadline, right?” “Oh, shit! I thought YOU filed them!”
“Am I going to have to got to all 58 states again?”
“Sorry, he won’t be able to speak to your group as he’s going to be at his mosque all day. I mean, at the dentist. For his teeth. Because he’s not a Muslim.”
“When I get that feelin’, I want Congressional healin’. Congressional…heeeealin’”
“NO! The sticker should read ‘It’s NOT the economy, stupid’”
“The first thing we need to do is unite the party. See if we can find anyone who voted for Randall Terry so I can reach out to them.”
“Uh oh. Who has Joe’s meds?”
“I’m sorry, but I think a whistlestop tour of Kenya is a really bad idea.”
"Plans for the president to crash the Santorum rally and ask “Where’s all the white women at?” have been suspended.
Budget? Budget? We don’t need no stinkin budget!
“Now where the hell did I put my cigarettes?”
“Where are all the white women at?”
Most snubbed acts denied induction at the Rock and Roll HoF:
Deep Purple
(Given the number of guitar stores around the world, there are hundreds open at all times. Therefore, it is safe to say that the intro to Smoke on the Water has been playing constantly for 40 years.)
