Things you wish you hadn’t heard during your big Thanksgiving meal
“You’d be surprised how often the USDA wrongly orders the destruction of ‘spoiled’ turkeys.”
“You know how many calories/carbs/fat grams are in that?”
“We really SHOULD be eating eels for Thanksgiving.”
“Care for any sweet potatoes?”
“Don’t you want any wine? Come on, one glass won’t kill you. It’s a holiday. It’s a family meal. Everyone else is going to feel guilty if you’re not drinking.”
“There is too much butter on those trays. ¿Qué?”
“You know, tofurkey tastes just like turkey…sort of. And this way we didn’t have to kill any innocent turkeys!”
“Today, not only did the Patriots win, but so did the Lions and (gag me!) the Cowboys.” (only 'cuz I picked them in my pool; I hate hate HATE the Cowboys!)
“I hate you and I want a divorce.”
“Did you like the dessert? It’s called Minny’s Chocolate Pie.”
“Wait, who are you again?”
“Um… did anybody else find a toenail in the mashed potatoes?”
“All the turkey is gone but there’s plenty of Brussels sprouts.”
Next up:
Countries on the Mediterranean Sea (and its arms, e.g., the Adriatic)