Bakers Dozen

Thread Games
18323

Worst place/time for it to rain

  1. during a backyard BBQ
  2. walking home from a friend’s house after you’ve just watched Sharknado
  3. Wedding day, when the ceremony is planned for outside
  4. last regular game of the baseball season, top of the 5th inning with two outs, home team leading and their pitcher throwing a perfect game
  5. watching a game in an open-roofed stadium
  6. In the middle of mowing the yard
  7. Tuesday night during the summer. (My golf night)
  8. at an outdoor flea market
  9. Walking from the office to a parking lot far away, without an umbrella
  10. When you’re wearing a suede jacket/no umbrella
  11. When you’re in Bali, on a motorbike, on top of a mountain, and at least an hour’s ride from the hotel.
  12. When you’ve fallen into a deep pit.
18324

Worst place/time for it to rain

  1. during a backyard BBQ
  2. walking home from a friend’s house after you’ve just watched Sharknado
  3. Wedding day, when the ceremony is planned for outside
  4. last regular game of the baseball season, top of the 5th inning with two outs, home team leading and their pitcher throwing a perfect game
  5. watching a game in an open-roofed stadium
  6. In the middle of mowing the yard
  7. Tuesday night during the summer. (My golf night)
  8. at an outdoor flea market
  9. Walking from the office to a parking lot far away, without an umbrella
  10. When you’re wearing a suede jacket/no umbrella
  11. When you’re in Bali, on a motorbike, on top of a mountain, and at least an hour’s ride from the hotel.
  12. When you’ve fallen into a deep pit.
  13. Digging a grave in a damp graveyard (“Could be worse…could be raining!”)

Funniest Mel Brooks gags

  1. “One false move, and the nigger gets it!” “Do as he say, do as he say!!”
18325

Funniest Mel Brooks gags

  1. “One false move, and the nigger gets it!” “Do as he say, do as he say!!”
  2. “Where are you going? I was going to make Espresso.”
18326

Funniest Mel Brooks gags

  1. “One false move, and the nigger gets it!” “Do as he say, do as he say!!”
  2. “Where are you going? I was going to make Espresso.”
  3. “He vas my BOYFRIEND!”
18327

Funniest Mel Brooks gags

  1. “One false move, and the nigger gets it!” “Do as he say, do as he say!!”
  2. “Where are you going? I was going to make Espresso.”
  3. “He vas my BOYFRIEND!”
  4. “And now it’s Springtime for Hitler and Germany…”
18328

Funniest Mel Brooks gags

  1. “One false move, and the nigger gets it!” “Do as he say, do as he say!!”
  2. “Where are you going? I was going to make Espresso.”
  3. “He vas my BOYFRIEND!”
  4. “And now it’s Springtime for Hitler and Germany…”
  5. “We are so poor, we do not even have a language! Just this stupid accent!” “She’s right, she’s right! We all talk like Maurice Chevalier!”
18329

Funniest Mel Brooks gags

  1. “One false move, and the nigger gets it!” “Do as he say, do as he say!!”
  2. “Where are you going? I was going to make Espresso.”
  3. “He vas my BOYFRIEND!”
  4. “And now it’s Springtime for Hitler and Germany…”
  5. “We are so poor, we do not even have a language! Just this stupid accent!” “She’s right, she’s right! We all talk like Maurice Chevalier!”
  6. “Ja, it’s twu!”
    Followed by the deleted line “Pardon me ma’am, but you’re sucking my arm.”
18330

Funniest Mel Brooks gags

  1. “One false move, and the nigger gets it!” “Do as he say, do as he say!!”
  2. “Where are you going? I was going to make Espresso.”
  3. “He vas my BOYFRIEND!”
  4. “And now it’s Springtime for Hitler and Germany…”
  5. “We are so poor, we do not even have a language! Just this stupid accent!” “She’s right, she’s right! We all talk like Maurice Chevalier!”
  6. “Ja, it’s twu!”
  7. “ow could this happen? I was so careful. I picked the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast. Where did I go right?”
18331

[nitpick]what she said was “it’s twoo! it’s twoo!” She never said “Ja”[/nitpick]

18332

Funniest Mel Brooks gags

  1. “One false move, and the nigger gets it!” “Do as he say, do as he say!!”
  2. “Where are you going? I was going to make Espresso.”
  3. “He vas my BOYFRIEND!”
  4. “And now it’s Springtime for Hitler and Germany…”
  5. “We are so poor, we do not even have a language! Just this stupid accent!” “She’s right, she’s right! We all talk like Maurice Chevalier!”
  6. “Ja, it’s twu!”
  7. “How could this happen? I was so careful. I picked the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast. Where did I go right?”
  8. “Funny, you don’t look Druish…”
18333

Funniest Mel Brooks gags

  1. “One false move, and the nigger gets it!” “Do as he say, do as he say!!”
  2. “Where are you going? I was going to make Espresso.”
  3. “He vas my BOYFRIEND!”
  4. “And now it’s Springtime for Hitler and Germany…”
  5. “We are so poor, we do not even have a language! Just this stupid accent!” “She’s right, she’s right! We all talk like Maurice Chevalier!”
  6. “Ja, it’s twu!”
  7. “How could this happen? I was so careful. I picked the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast. Where did I go right?”
  8. “Funny, you don’t look Druish…”
  9. “What a dramatic airport.”
18334

Funniest Mel Brooks gags

  1. “One false move, and the nigger gets it!” “Do as he say, do as he say!!”
  2. “Where are you going? I was going to make Espresso.”
  3. “He vas my BOYFRIEND!”
  4. “And now it’s Springtime for Hitler and Germany…”
  5. “We are so poor, we do not even have a language! Just this stupid accent!” “She’s right, she’s right! We all talk like Maurice Chevalier!”
  6. “Ja, it’s twu!”
  7. “How could this happen? I was so careful. I picked the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast. Where did I go right?”
  8. “Funny, you don’t look Druish…”
  9. “What a dramatic airport.”
  10. “What did you expect? “Welcome, sonny”? “Make yourself at home”? “Marry my daughter”? You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons.”
18335

Funniest Mel Brooks gags

  1. “One false move, and the nigger gets it!” “Do as he say, do as he say!!”
  2. “Where are you going? I was going to make Espresso.”
  3. “He vas my BOYFRIEND!”
  4. “And now it’s Springtime for Hitler and Germany…”
  5. “We are so poor, we do not even have a language! Just this stupid accent!” “She’s right, she’s right! We all talk like Maurice Chevalier!”
  6. “Ja, it’s twu!”
  7. “How could this happen? I was so careful. I picked the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast. Where did I go right?”
  8. “Funny, you don’t look Druish…”
  9. “What a dramatic airport.”
  10. “What did you expect? “Welcome, sonny”? “Make yourself at home”? “Marry my daughter”? You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons.”
  11. “The first critic.”
18336

Funniest Mel Brooks gags

  1. “One false move, and the nigger gets it!” “Do as he say, do as he say!!”
  2. “Where are you going? I was going to make Espresso.”
  3. “He vas my BOYFRIEND!”
  4. “And now it’s Springtime for Hitler and Germany…”
  5. “We are so poor, we do not even have a language! Just this stupid accent!” “She’s right, she’s right! We all talk like Maurice Chevalier!”
  6. “Ja, it’s twu!”
  7. “How could this happen? I was so careful. I picked the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast. Where did I go right?”
  8. “Funny, you don’t look Druish…”
  9. “What a dramatic airport.”
  10. “What did you expect? “Welcome, sonny”? “Make yourself at home”? “Marry my daughter”? You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons.”
  11. “The first critic.”
  12. “Work, work, work, work. Hello, boys.”
18337

Funniest Mel Brooks gags

  1. “One false move, and the nigger gets it!” “Do as he say, do as he say!!”

  2. “Where are you going? I was going to make Espresso.”

  3. “He vas my BOYFRIEND!”

  4. “And now it’s Springtime for Hitler and Germany…”

  5. “We are so poor, we do not even have a language! Just this stupid accent!” “She’s right, she’s right! We all talk like Maurice Chevalier!”

  6. “Ja, it’s twu!”

  7. “How could this happen? I was so careful. I picked the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast. Where did I go right?”

  8. “Funny, you don’t look Druish…”

  9. “What a dramatic airport.”

  10. “What did you expect? “Welcome, sonny”? “Make yourself at home”? “Marry my daughter”? You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons.”

  11. “The first critic.”

  12. “Work, work, work, work. Hello, boys.”

  13. “God has given us these fifteen— (after dropping one of the tablets) Oy! Ten — ten commandments!”
    New! Famous swords (and their wielders)

  14. Joyeuse (Charlemagne)

18338

Famous swords (and their wielders)

  1. Joyeuse (Charlemagne)
  2. Excalibur (Arthur)
18339

Famous swords (and their wielders)

  1. Joyeuse (Charlemagne)
  2. Excalibur (Arthur)
  3. Lady Vivamus (Oscar Gordon in Glory Road)
18340

Famous swords (and their wielders)

  1. Joyeuse (Charlemagne)
  2. Excalibur (Arthur)
  3. Lady Vivamus (Oscar Gordon in Glory Road)
  4. Anduril (Aragorn)
18341

Famous swords (and their wielders)

  1. Joyeuse (Charlemagne)
  2. Excalibur (Arthur)
  3. Lady Vivamus (Oscar Gordon in Glory Road)
  4. Anduril (Aragorn)
  5. Tizona (El Cid)
18342

Famous swords (and their wielders)

  1. Joyeuse (Charlemagne)
  2. Excalibur (Arthur)
  3. Lady Vivamus (Oscar Gordon in Glory Road)
  4. Anduril (Aragorn)
  5. Tizona (El Cid)
  6. Glamdring (Gandalf)