The gentleman I’ve been seeing has asked me to join him for ballroom dance lessons. I took the first one last week, the cha-cha, and his instructor asked if I’d be joining him at the other set of lessons he takes, so tomorrow night I’ll be joining him for a class on the waltz and the foxtrot. Out of curiousity, are any other Dopers into this? If so, I’d be interested in reading any tips, stories, etc.
By the way, yes, I’ve seen both the Japanese and American versions of Shall We Dance? I rented the American version last night, and, while it’s not quite as good as the Japanese version, it’s not bad!
Heh…I ran into a guy at a VFW post (while my friend was getting tattooed) and this guy was a ballroom dancing instructor. We danced around the VFW like Fred and Ginger. I love it! I used to do it years ago, but no more, as my husband wouldn’t even entertain the thought of dancing. I’m going to sign up on my own one of these days, I swear.
Ballroom is a lot of fun. Tips for the woman are: learn how to follow. That’s about it. It is a lot harder than it sounds, but once you learn how to follow really well everything else is gravy for you.
The man needs to learn to lead, and all of the moves. The learning curve can be quite slow for them in any new dance (particularly if they aren’t terribly coordinated, but once you pick up the basics you can do just about everything (except for some of the very athletic swing dance moves). It is a kind of relaxation and intuition.
A lot of your early responsibilities are just forcing the guy to do all the leading (many will wimp out when they are unsure of themselves), so don’t fall into easy habit of taking over.
I love the Cha-Cha too. It is a very flirty dance. Just wait until you get to the Tango though. That’s when you stop flirting and take it into the bedroom.
burundi and I are taking classes now–it was my birthday present to her. We’re gonna miss tonight’s class, which is a shame. The classes are tons of fun.
It’s a little hard for a SNAG like myself to learn to lead, and what makes it worse are the women in the class who don’t particularly want to follow: I feel like apologizing to them whenever I refuse to take a turn that they initiate, simply because as The Man I’m supposed to be the one who initiates any move.
But other than that, the classes are great. I only wish they were going faster: four classes in, and we still know a very few moves. burundi and I went to the LEAFestival this past weekend, and while we had lots of fun rumba-ing and waltzing, we could only do about three moves in each.
I started ballroom dancing three years ago in college, and go out swing dancing 2-3 times a week, with occasional Cha-cha and Salsa. I generally don’t have much call to do the Waltz or Foxtrot anymore, but I’m planning to start Argentine Tango lessons soon.
Recently, I’ve been learning to follow. It’s fantastic. So much more fun than leading. Although that’s probably partly because I tend to only dance with really good leads and because it’s something new.
I’m going to go to a Swing class tomorrow and see if I can take it as a follow.
I wanted to do this for years, but all my girlfriends refused, believe it or not. And it’s extremely difficult for a 6’7’’ guy to find a dance partner. I finally found one - in fact, my current GF is an amateur ballroom dance champion. Unfortunately, she finds dancing with a noob like me to be annoying, so she’s commanded me to take classes. I’m looking for some that will fit into my schedule - I should have done this a long time ago.
Don’t apologize. (Don’t act superior, either - but you don’t owe them an apology)
As someone said, learning to follow is hard. And the only way to do it is to keep trying to follow. One thing that seems to happen (or, from my point of view), is that at the beginning stages, the women are often times more comfortable and therefore pick up the instruction faster than the men. And because it’s really, really hard when you’re just learning the basics to follow someone who isn’t sure of themselves, doesn’t know how to lead yet, doesn’t know the steps, and can’t find the beat, the follows often get into the very bad habit of backleading - just so they can do the steps being instructed. And then the leads often let them do that.
Of course, once the follows run into someone who can lead, this becomes a huge problem - it doesn’t work when both people are leading.
I did take ballroom lessons for a while, but stopped. Despite the fact that most places say you don’t need a partner, you kind of do.
Yep – I’ve been doing partner dances for a good while, now. Swing, country, ballroom – lots of various types. There’s a dance teacher in town that I had originally started out with, long ago – now I substitute teach her dance classes when she’s out of town and teach some private lessons.
Tips… Make sure to pay attention to technique. Lots of people want to jump in fast and learn as many “moves” as possible, but if they have no concept of the technique, it’s not going to look good (or feel good, when doing lead/follow with a partner). This includes frame, foot positions, turn technique, body posture, and more. Most of the technique will apply across most all dances, especially frame and lead/follow concepts.
I agree with flight – “but once you learn how to follow really well everything else is gravy for you.”
Make sure to try the West Coast Swing. That’s when you take it out of the bedroom and start doing it on the kitchen table (and all over the house).
Hm. I’ve never had a problem following (but then, I’m talking from the perspective of someone who’s only taken a couple classes). The problem of me backleading is a huge one since, being deaf, I have no clue how to follow the beat. I’ve always followed my lead. As everyone else’s said, a good lead is an awesome thing to have.
I should try learning ballroom dance again someday… I kinda miss swing dancing, plus salsa. (the wild dance of luuuuurve!)
Make sure you dance with multiple partners-- that way you’ll learn the dance, and not just the routine that your regular partner has.
And perhaps most important is to learn to recognize the music and correlate it with a specific dance. I often have that 30 second brain hiccup trying to figure out if it’s better to do a salsa or a mambo to any given song…
For years I’ve been trying to get people to join me at Lincoln Center’s Summer Swing dances, with no luck whatsoever. Now I’m too old and fat to dance . . .
I’ve suggested ballroom dancing to my old lady. . .mainly as something to do together, but she’s not into it.
She’s not nearly as into sticking out her gut in front of the mirror, and inventing dances based on the “Cabbage Patch”, either. I guess she just doesn’t like dancing as much as I do.
I think it mostly happens when we’re learning a new maneuver, and my partner wants to practice it on every step, and I’d prefer to do it every second or third step with some regular moves thrown in between. On reflection, maybe that’s a sign that I should be doing the practice moves every step, since that’s kinda the point of practice. . . .
If you dance with the same person all the time, you get used to what they do (i.e. what they lead, if you’re the follower) and it’s too easy to fall into the habit of anticipating. Dancing with a variety of people is a good way to hone the lead/follow skills.
No. The follows probably have the step down after 5-6 repetitions. They don’t need any more practice. You do. What they should be practicing while you learn the steps is not trying to read your mind and learning to read your body instead.
What you are doing now (the unexpected) is the best thing for a new follow.
I’ve been going back through the classes as a lead recently, and I try to mix the steps in unfamiliar patterns too. The newbies get kind of annoyed at first, but later on they always ask me to do it more, once they realize how valuable that kind of practice is.
It also helps me to concentrate on how to best communicate my intent to my follow, since I need to be absolutely clear in my intent if I’m expecting her to- um- follow.
It’s a great way to meet people and (especially) exercise!
I’ve always followed my lead. As everyone else’s said, a good lead is an awesome thing to have.