My mom never let me or my brother play with toy guns. We used to shoot each other with bananas. But it didn’t seem to affect us to have a predilection for guns, nor a fear of guns.
My kids are young still, but the only toy guns they have are the tiny ones that come with their Lego sets. They do have a couple of play swords though (made of plastic or foam).
In general I’ll probably follow my mom’s example and not buy them toy guns.
I have a pretty dark view on guns. Not a fan of hunting, find target shooting enjoyable but not particularly awesome, and think owning guns for self-defense is generally more foolish than not.
That said, I’d have hated a childhood without Nerf guns.
Father of a 9yr old boy, competitive tactical shooter, allower of toy guns. Had an arsenal of toy guns when I was a kid. Played war all the time.
Kids need to learn to figure out their feelings of agression and how to deal with them. When should they be held in check. When are they justified. When can agression save their lives. Playing with weapons is a way to do this in an imaginary basis. To explore these issues in a safe way.
I find it ironic that we have gone out of our way to speak freely to kids about sex, to inform them, even at a controversially early age, so they can make “safe choices”, but that many of the most adament supporters of giving out free condoms in elementary schools get all repressive when violence is the topic instead.
In many ways, guns and violence have replaced sex as the new taboo and subject of repression in children in many “right thinking” circles. And just as past generations produced people who grew up to be psychologically messed up about sex, I fear we may be producing people who are confused, repressed, and dysfunctionnal about violence, in either directions. Some are drawn to violence because of its forbidden fruit allure, just like sex, and some will be unable to use it when it’s necessary, just like sex, and step quietly into the van and be found decomposing in the woods months later.
And yet, violence, the application of force, is the last safeguard that (tries to) ensure our saffety in the streets, that everyone pays their taxes, and that we live in a more or less orderly society. Sure, most of us don’t commit crimes and pay our taxes out of moral principles. But not everyone. Violence is something that is distasteful to many people, that not all can “do”, and that, like many such necessary aspects of our modern civilised life, we have relegated to a subset of specialised workers: law enforcement & the military. Police officers have joined the ranks of sanitation workers, meatpackers, farmers, loggers, utility workers and other people who do the scary, dangerous, and unpleasant tasks in out stead so we can eat, poop, be dry, have electricity and walk around unmolested most of the time, all without beeing icked out or put in danger.
So my reaction to parents who deplore violent play in their kids is akin to those who eat meat, but deplore that animals have to die, and prefer to think that meat comes from the supermaket, bloodlesss and wrapped in clean plastic. Unfortunately (fortunately??) , unlike choosing to be a vegetarian, you can’t really chose to foregoe the protection of law. Maybe you could resolve to never call the police I guess…
As for my kid and his toy guns, I tell him to never point a toy gun at this parents, but only “bad guys”. Bad guys can be imaginary, or friends who agree to pretend to be bad guys before-hand. I tell him that if he threatens me with his toy gun, then he is *being *a “bad-guy”, and then I can “defend” myself from him, usually by gently disarming him. We talk about there being real 'bad guys" in the world, the role of police, and the need for being able to defend oneself.
And he also knows that those cute cows in the countryside will one day become the burgers and steaks he enjoys…
My sister tried the same thing and her son grew older and obsessed with the military. She actually threw him an Army themed birthday party while still enforcing the “no guns” rule. I joked that I was going to get him a UN peacekeeper’s helmet.
I think he has some Nerf guns and stuff now as she finally caved in on what constituted a “gun”. My nephew is nine now so I guess that’s the point of maternal breaking.
My own son has had toy guns and swords and stuff since he was old enough to play with them rather than just stick them in his mouth. He’s less of a pill than my nephew so there ya go.
I hope you don’t mind if I steal this. I think is freaking brilliant!
By all means go ahead; I’m flattered…
Toy guns are fine…if you can find them. Most of us older folks grew up with them. If a toy gun isn’t available, a stick will do in a pinch.
The problem these days is that kids prefer to do their killing from the comfort of their living rooms or own room using their computer boxes.
You might not believe it, but the graphic deaths on the TV are MUCH worse than the kids with the cap pistols or sticks playing soldier… Ooops… Playing solider is out. That is too violent. Hmmn.
Seriously. You want to know how to do it right? IF the kid wants a cap pistol, which is unlikely, or a water pistol, or a stick, which is unlikely…don’t do like our parents did and turn him loose with it until you give some instruction.
Teach him that water pistols and sticks kill. Teach him to never point his toy gun or stick at anything or anyone he doesn’t intend to kill.
And gosh forbid, if you spring for a BB gun…give the kid instruction. Explain that it’s much more fun shooting at paper targets than at street lights or friends.
The gun itself…is inert. Same for the stick or cap pistol. It is only when a human with one kind of intent or the other picks it up that it becomes a weapon.
A toy pistol or a stick or a water pistol can become a GREAT teaching tool. Don’t shy away from it.
Then, one day, hopefully, when the kid visits his friend’s house, where the parents have a REAL gun, the kid will know better than to treat it like a toy.
Keeping kids ignorant is not a good way to protect them.
And I have to tell you that turning a kid loose with a violent video game is the same thing as giving the kid a toy pistol and telling him to go out and have fun killing someone with it.
Cabela’s, Bass Pro Shop, or the like generally have a decent selection. Just bought a lever action rifle that will cycle/eject plastic cartidges realistically, and a SxS shotgun with “shells” to load, eject, etc. Big fun for the little ones- boy and girl, neither over 3 years old.
-JR
Had a rather leftie mother who didn’t want us playing with toy guns or soldiers. Kids can trade with other kids so we aquired them.
We’d also play Viking and use sticks as spears. I don’t think my mother anticipated that, nor did she anticipate that I’d stab my brother with a butter knife while re-enacting a scene from Romeo and Juliet. (He wasn’t hurt but his shirt was torn.) Kids do dumb things like that regardless of parents’ good intentions.
My brother eventually got a lot of guns. He hasn’t shot anyone yet. When I had a gun I hid it and tried to ignore it.
Middlebro and SiL had decided there would be no weapon-toys in their house. No guns, swords, action figures. Littlebro and I were required and requested to hide our own swords. Mom was required and requested to hide Dad’s lead soldiers. The box of playmobil clicks was searched for weapons and these eliminated.
Then one day, 2yo Nephew grabbed his father’s Black and Decker, pointed it and went “bang, bang!”. When he swung the carving knife as a sword, he was told “that’s not a toy” and a plastic sword was acquired.
I… wha?
Oh, you’re in Canada.
Two things:
You cannot prevent a serial killer from doing serial killer-y things by keeping guns away from them. You prevent them by watching the behavior of THAT INDIVIDUAL and moulding your teachings to fit. It’s pretty obvious that ‘playing war’ is a common behavior that doesn’t lead to death, dismemberment, and the electric chair.
Guns are tools, and this hasn’t been brought up yet. There are LOTS of tools that can kill or maim, and a whole classification needs to be created for things that are powerful but dangerous. In this household, there’s a bb-gun, knives, a lathe, an Oxy-acetylene rig, hydraulic press, vehicle lift, stairs, wasps, prairie dogs, electric mixers, electrical outlets, some seriously bad chemicals, medicines, etc.
Guns are excellent tools for making holes in things at a distance. WHAT those things are, HOW to do it, and WHEN it’s done are the critical things that need to be taught, not GUNS=BAD.
I think BB or Airsoft guns are the best compromise. That’s what I played with. They’re relatively safe, but they can still hurt if you mess about, which teaches you as decent amount of respect for weapons!
My mom had less of a problem with guns in general, but I was forbidden to have toy guns that actually looked like guns. I by myself avoided the whole BB gun thing, and, while I sorta liked cap gun, I hated the fact that you would run out, and tired of them later.
Anyways, I bring it up as a sort of compromise. I’ve never actually thought that the use of toy guns led to violence. My point is more that, even with the guns I was allowed, I still have no interest in learning to shoot my own gun.
I understand all the arguments for allowing toy guns, but if I think about my 3 year old son picking up a toy gun, aiming it at something and saying “BANG” “YOU’RE DEAD”, I get really squicked out.
Maybe in a few years. For now, our house is basically gun-free and I’m not even sure he really knows what a gun is.
I loved guns as a kid. Played soldiers, cowboys & Indians; I had the largest collection of Army men in the city.
When I was 13, one of the boys in my Scout troop was accidentally killed by his 2 best friends while playing with a .45.
Suddenly, not as much fun…
My parents had me in gun safety within 6 weeks of Danny being killed. I’ve fired weapons since then, but have never gotten hooked like I was before then.
Having kids now, I made sure that my kids know that guns can kill. I’ve told them about Danny since they were tiny. We’ve even visited his grave (same cemetery as my parents). My 7-year-old son has fired a BB gun. Both kids have been told they WILL take a gun safety class, and we will take them to the firing range.
We have Nerf guns, toy swords, and even a few real swords & knives. They’ve seen my scars where I’ve been cut or whacked by tools and weapons. They know that Dad’s knives are sharp and dangerous. My son earned his Cub Scout Whittling Chit before he was allowed to own a knife.
I had an entire toy arsenal as a child. I had plastic swords, axes and scythes and guns of all kinds. I liked my cap gun revolver but I preferred my rifle because I’d always burn through the revolver caps very quickly. When I was maybe 10 I got a heavy metal bb pistol that I’ve still got to this day - that one I was only allowed to take out with permission (not that that was an issue - I don’t remember ever being denied permission). I also had a bow and arrows (cheap Ren Fair kind instead of cheap toy store kind), a metal prop sword (also from a Ren Fair) and a pocket knife. All of that was with my mother’s knowledge and blessings. Then again, she would take turns playing Grand Theft Auto with me when I was a preteen so maybe I’m not the best example.
Never got into trouble with any of it.
Like others, I feel that gun safety should be taught at an early age. We had toy guns when I was a kid (along with other weapons). When they were toys we received no instructions and were permitted to use them as we pleased. But my dad required that we understand safe use of real guns.
We had 4 major rules that would result in serious correction if we broke any of them:
There are a number of smaller rules as well, but these four are the big ones.
I have been around people who had no guns as kids and, as a result, no instruction. They have no idea how to act when using a gun. They’ll point it at cars, houses, and (God help us) people. When I correct them their response is always “but it isn’t loaded!”. That is a horrible way to look at it. That’s like diving head-first into a muddy lake and assuming it is deep because you can’t see the bottom. Sometimes you’re right and the water is deep but you only have to be wrong once.
I feel that parents who believe that their children should never be exposed to any weapons, toy or not, are doing their children a disservice. They will eventually be exposed to them and they will not be prepared. You can kill a person in two ways: on purpose and accidentally. If they want to kill someone, never having used a weapon won’t stop them. However, education will stop them from accidentally killing someone.
My dad had a really strict ‘no guns’ rule. I found out (much later) that a childhood friend of his accidentally shot him when they were kids- the kid was pointing the gun at my dad, he held up his arms to protect his face, and got shot in the forearm :eek:
However, he never told me that, so the ‘no guns’ thing to me just felt like some arbitrary control issue he had. Of course I was obsessed as guns as a child, and as a teen desperately wanted a paintball gun. This was strictly forbidden, until a few years later, he got a divorce, and was trying to charm me into living with him, so he got me a paintball gun as a christmas gift. Suddenly he became very lax about guns, and didnt give my younger brother ANY limitations, even getting him a .22 rifle.
The whole experience felt grossly hypocritical to me. I think as a parent I would take a middle-of-the-road approach to guns; we’re never going to own a real gun in the house, but I want our future kids to be responsible and know what to do if they encounter a real one.
I also agree kids need an outlet for their energy, and little boys can be naturally agressive with each other. I dont think raising them in a hothouse enviroment is healthy.
I’m a gun nut and seeing kids playing with toy guns is extremely unsettling.