Bangkok Ladyboy Steals Aussie Naval Officer's Classified Laptop

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

No, no, I mean his computer laptop. Story here. (A ladyboy is, of course, a transvestite.)

Boy, is his face red (the officer’s). Supposedly, the laptop contained “low-classification” data and “was password-protected.” I suspect it may be for sale right now at Pantip Plaza. I wonder if I could break into if I could find it. :smiley:

“He is understood to have told colleagues that he thought his guest was a woman.” Uh-huh, right. (Although in all fairness, it has happened. This is why it’s always best to “check under the hood” before buying, especially if you’ve not had much practice spotting ladyboys.)

2

And of course, there should have been an apostrophe in the title: “Naval Officer’s Classified Laptop.”

3

You should see the ad that turned up under this thread.

ETA: It was gone the second time, but the first time I looked, it was a web site, on “where to meet pretty ladyboys.”

4

Can these guys do anything right? When they’re not riding kangaroos, wrestling alligators, drinking Foster’s beer, and saying “mate,” they’re getting their laptops stolen by ladyboys. What do they even need a Navy for, anyway? Can’t they just make a big coral reef to defend their country? Can’t they train stingrays to sting the enemy to death?

5

[Mod hat on]
Okay - got that for you
[Mod hat off]

6

Maybe it as a “Navel Officer’s Laptop”?
I expect this dope’s naval career is over.

7

I’ve pulled up a lot of ladyboy sites lately, quite by mistake. Is this like a new thing? I’ve never had this happen before. Thanks, Google. Not what I had in mind AT ALL.

8

Are Aussie naval officers supposed to be frequenting prostitutes, male or female? It’s hard to tell from the article.

9

:confused:

:dubious:

I’m drawing a blank here, I mean, I know every individual word and all, but strung together like that it’s incomprehensible.

10

I’ve got an ad for ladyboykisses.com right now. I really wish I weren’t at work so I could go check it out–the curiosity is just eating me alive.

11

This makes it sound like “Yes, official policy mandates no less than 3 and no more than 10 visits per month” could be a valid answer!

12

Heh heh… you said “man dates”.

13

It works on so many levels!

14

It’s like something out of a Murray Head song, isn’t it?

“One Night in Bangkok” (the naval chopper pilot – not the chess player – version)

[THE AUSTRALIAN]
Bangkok, hedonistic setting
And the city don’t know what the city is getting:
The bottom of the barrel of the boatyard in a
Farce with everything but Peter Sellars!

Time flies – doesn’t seem a minute
Since the “Carry On” gang did the “Admiral” bit.
Heads up! – don’t you know that when you
Play with a ladyboy it’s no ordinary venue?

It’s Chelsea – or the Maricon – or Luzon – or –
or Nana Plaza!

[COMPANY]
One night in Bangkok and the world’s your oyster,
The bars are temples but the pearls ain’t free.
You’ll find a god in every golden cloister
And if you’re lucky then the god’s a she!
I can feel a she-male sliding up to me…

[THE AUSTRALIAN]
Choosing a dive’s not very weighty
When you sail three sheets to the wind – right, matey?

[COMPANY]
It’s a drag, it’s a bore, it’s really such a pity
To be looking at the whore, not looking at the city.

[THE AUSTRALIAN]
Whaddya mean? Ya peer down on one polluted, stinking town –

[COMPANY]
Tea-“girls,” warm, sweet…
Some are set up in a Banyan Tree suite!

[THE AUSTRALIAN]
Get Thai’d! You’re talking to a farang
Whose evening date was in a sarang.
I get all my kicks with the distaff, riff-raff!

[COMPANY]
One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble,
Not much between despair and ecstasy.
One night in Bangkok and the pilots tumble
Can’t be too careful with your company!
I can sense a temptress slinking up to me…

[THE AUSTRALIAN]
Siam’s gonna be the witness
To the ultimate goof in the intel business.
This hits me worse than would a
Cholera bug or street-gang hooda.

And thank God for modern cryptography – firewalling it –

I don’t see you guys rating
The utter SNAFU I’m perpetrating.
I’d let you watch, I would invite you
But the girl I used would not excite you!

Good thing they can’t ask for my Order of Australia Medal back –

[COMPANY]
One night in Bangkok and the world’s your oyster
The bars are temples but the pearls ain’t free.
You’ll find iPods from every back-street fencer,
Passport and other stuff that came from me…
I can feel a grifter sidling up to me!

One night’s blackout breaks Lieutenant Colonels,
Not much between despair and ecstasy.
One night in Bangkok will likely earn all o’ yers
Some lectures and tighter security.
I can sense our SEATO allies mocking me.

15

F’in’ Bravo! Standing O! :cool::cool:

16

Look, “rum, sodomy and the lash” have been banned aboard ship (or at least during duty hours). Ya gotta preserve the tradition somehow.

But really, unless they’re specifically declared off-limits, sailors hitting the bars and brothels is expected by just about every navy, even when officially discouraged. What is NOT expected is to be leaving behind valuable government property.

17

Bravo for the whole number! But you misspelled “dicks.” :smiley:

Say, waidaminnit. “He is understood to have told colleagues that he thought his guest was a woman.” Well, they’ve not caught the perp. The Aussie says he blacked out in the room. The perp was gone when he awoke. So exactly at what point did he learn he had dealt with a ladyboy? It doesn’t sound like it was a case of “Hey! You’re a man! Gedouddahere!” as happens so often.

Couldn’t be he fessed up to the police he’d picked up a ladyboy and then realized his colleagues would get wind of that part, could it?

18

Makes you think about the term “Down Under” in a whole new way.

19

The Australian Navy would have a lot of dark secrets that everyone would be interested in.

I can’t tell you of course.

20

Yeah, I got that ad, too. I, however, have no interest in seeing what lies behind it. From what I know if the internet, it probably isn’t pleasant.