If you or someone you know is having problems due to an inflated ego, there is now a sure fire method of knocking it down a few notches:
Become a Bank of America customer.
Within minutes of walking into a branch or attempting to contact a person over the phone, the adjustment process will have begun. In a few short sessions your place in the universe will be revealed and your ego will now be engaged in a fight for it’s life.
Warning: Prolonged exposure to Bank of America could be damaging. Consult your doctor before becoming a customer. People with heart conditions should not be customers of Bank of America. Certain skin conditions have been correlated with being a customer of Bank of America, notify your doctor if you notice anything unusual. Some insurance plans will not cover exposure to Bank of America. Do not mix Bank of America with other ego reducing institutions as serious conditions can develop.
Pffft. BofA just takes the natural, beneficial ego reduction of wives and children, extracts ONE active principle, and patents it. Sure, it’s “more potent,” if all you look at is ego reduction per hour, but the ego reduction produced by BofA’s customer service is harsh and emotionally disturbing compared to the mild effects experienced by those who take advantage of the full spectrum ego reduction of wife and children. Hell, many claim to derive great pleasure from the side effects of wives and/or children, due to the many micro-ingredients that BofA arrogantly calls “impurities.”
