The good news is that I’m over halfway finished with this nasty disgusting revolting vomitrocious bottle of barium. The bad news is that I have to finish it.
The badder news is that I have to drink another one tomorrow.
Blaaargh. Gack. Retch. Ugggghhhh.
Barium sucks.
(In case you’re wondering why I’m doing this to myself, I’m having an upper-GI CAT scan tomorrow.)
Damn! Then what am I supposed to do with this fresh bottle of barium that I was hoping to make martinis with?
Although. . .if I mixed it in with margarita mix. . .
Seriously, sorry to hear of it. Is an upper-GI CAT scan something that you have to do on a regular basis?
Barium is some nasty stuff, I’ll agree with you there. But the taste is only part of it–the texture is really weird, too! It’s like–liquid and solid at the same time. Almost like paint or something. I almost felt like I needed to bite it off to stop drinking it! UGH!!
And we don’t even want to discuss what it’s like on the way out–EWWWWW!!!
Woot! I finished it! Now I can just sit here feeling queasy. 
You know, there’s just something about ranting in the Pit that makes the barium go down easier.
GLNo, I’ve never had this test before. I also have to have an endoscopy. I have a heckuva tummyache problem, and my previous gastroenterologist didn’t fix me. So, I went to a new guy, who ordered these tests. The new guy also put me on a totally lactose-free diet for the time being. That kinda sucks, but my stomach has felt better. So who knows.
Mayflower: Don’t keep me in suspense! What’s it like coming out the other end? Will I have to cancel the all-anal orgy I had planned for Saturday night??
Green Bean, I had to drink it too, for a kidney scan. It was every bit as gross as you’re saying it is. However, unlike Mayflower, I don’t remember anything gross about it on the way out. They did warn me that I might be constipated, but I recall nothing unusual. Maybe you’ll be one of the lucky ones, too.
The first time I had an upperGI no one warned me about the barium. Yes, it was pretty gross, but I was able to suck down the two bottles pretty quickly by gulping it (they gave straws, but that just made it worse). I finished my test fairly quickly (things flow fast thru me) and went home. The did tell me about the possible constipation, what they didn’t tell me was that barium doesn’t absorb or digest so when I went to the bathroom (took a shit - this is the pit, after all) the first time after, I shit pure white liquid. Scared the fuck out of me until I made the barium connection.
When I shat out my barium meal, it looked and sounded like stones hitting the bottom of the toilet bowl. They were snow white. After a while, it turned to white-colored turds, then tan turds, then finally the normal turd-colored turds. Took about three days.
This doesn’t have anything to do with that twobuckchuck-and-boxed-rose party we had with No Clue Boy over in that other thread, does it?
Hang in there, sister…
Do they make some half-assed attempt to make it taste pleasant, and so just make it taste worse? Like the fluoride treatment at dentists for example?
I would KILL to convince the dentist not to buy fluoride treatments that are ‘enhanced’ by some disgusting, sickly-sweet and yet surprisingly medical cherry flavor. Thank God insurance doesn’t pay for that after you hit 18.
Be very happy you’re drinking it?
Portrait of a young (21) Jonathan Chance in a summer job: Gofer for a firm that handles radiology for a local hospital and had satellite offices all around the county. Mostly I drove reports and films from various local offices to where the docs were. So I listened to a lot of radio and it was good.
Mostly.
I got to learn about some things the hard way. By coming around a corner at one of the offices and banging into one of the nurses who was covered in goop (as was now I) just as she was shouting ‘Damn it! Get me some towels! The patient in room 3 just lost her barium enema all over me!’
Ugh.
No shit!
[sub]Come on. I can’t believe I was the first person to post this![/sub]
I’ve only had the lower GI scan.
I thought the enema was bad enough. To have to drink that - eeew!
Good luck on your tests. I hope they fix you right up.
Okay. I just had my coffee and realized my joke doesn’t make sense. I’ve had so many GI tests that I’ve confused Barium with Go-Lightly.
Move along. :smack:
As bad as a barium enema must be, I’d bet it’s better than drinking the stuff. At least with an enema, someone’s doing it to you. With drinking it, you have to do it to yourself. Slowly. You can’t even chug it, because if you drink it too fast, you’ll just puke–requiring you to drink even more barium. Yaargh.
It’s so hard to describe why it’s so bad. There’s just something about it…you’re trying to force it dows, and all of your natural instincts are telling you “Don’t drink this! It’s not edible!” Because it really isn’t edible, I guess.
And yeah, they do flavor it up a bit. It’s some sort of “fruit” flavor–sort of like fruit-flavored Tums, but not as deliciously fresh and juicy. :eek:
I’m supposed to drink my next dose at 10:15. Last night, I found that eating pretzels helped with the nausea. Unfortunately, I’m not supposed to eat solid food this morning, but I’ll only be drinking 1/2 bottle.
Thanks to you all for the sympathy and commisseration. It does help to know that there are others out there that understand how nasty the stuff is.
not sure what your problem is, but if you’re having unidentifiable stomach pain, I’d say stop eating dairy.
Between the ages of 18-20 or so, several times I was hospitalized for intense stomach pain that LOOKED like appendicitis but my temperature never rose (and if you’re temp doesn’t rise, it’s almost definitely NOT appendicitis).
They did kidney tests, I drank the barium milkshake (I’ve heard the enema is worse), and they never found a thing.
Anyway, some random person mentioned to stop drinking milk. Never had a stomach pain after that.
Don’t know if you can relate to that at all, but I just made a connection because of the barium thing.
For one of my upper GI tests, the tech put Hershey’s chocolate syrup in the barium. It made it a little more palatable. I’ve also had orange-flavored barium, but the chocolate was better.
For me, the first couple of times, it was all white goo. Then it was the white turds, and so on, as hyperelastic described.
Where’s a shudder smilie when you need it? 
Trunk–The doc has already put me on a lactose-free diet. I’m glad to hear it helped you.
Uugh, that barium enema experience is the worst. It’s like trying to contain explosive whitewash while waves of nausea sweep over you and all the while the x-ray techs are humming Ray Price’s Release Me, Let Me Go. I think with a quick bend and push I could have painted Tom Sawyer’s entire fence.