Ooops, it looks like I’m guilty of hastily skimming the OP and assuming I knew what was coming next. I see what you mean now: on the surface, the kind of bar you’d go to to pick up a one night stand isn’t exactly tailored towards meaningful interactions. I suppose it works because people looking to pick someone up at a bar aren’t necessarily looking for a soul mate. Loud, dark, crowded bars mean that you have to get close to converse, and after a few exchanges its easier to just say “let’s dance” than carry on a conversation. After dancing for a while, if you hit it off you can always pull the old “it’s really loud here, want to come back to my place” line.
All of my friends were strangers when I first met them.
“… a stranger’s just a friend you haven’t met …”
– Oh, Streetcar!
Okay, I just went to a bar last night with some co-workers. It was more of a bar&grill, I guess. They had mixed drinks and a good variety of beers, from locally brewed to imported. They also had great hot wings and other finger foods. It was not dark; it was not loud. The atmosphere was pleasant in a low-key party kind of way. Nobody was there just to get laid, although I suspect there were a couple of hook-ups later.
Anyway, a fun time was had by all. We were away from both home and work. The alcohol enhanced our already fun-loving camaraderie, although not everyone drank. The food was good. We smokers had to go outside to light up, so nobody else was offended by our vile fumes. There was much laughter and none of us had to clean up afterwards. Oh, and the prices were reasonable.
What’s not to like?
1 in addition to the wider variety of liquor, there is usually someone handling it that knows how to make hundreds of good, different, drinks. I will go to my bartender and say something along the lines of ‘i would like a drink with gin, but don’t know what. Surprise me?’
I have found some of my favorite drinks. And liquors. ‘i like this quality of that scotch, can you recommend anything else?’
2 you are not necessarily intoxicated, nor must they be. I go to pool halls. Or I go to bars with pool tables. Not the same thong. I have met many of my dear friends there, socially, lightly, drinking and playing games.
3 you get out of the house. Meet new people. Hear new ideas. Sometimes meet a new group and have dinner/breakfast after drinks.
Almost every bar I go to is decently lit. Those that aren’t have a patio where there is more light.
And if its dark, I must get close to PPG. Hmm… Hidden plus?
Aah! Say I’m out to meet someone PPG, right? What’s better than a house imposed circumstance requiring me to lean in close and comfortably speak into their ear?
While true, I look at it the same way one may approach investing. Really you are, you’re investing your time in the hopes ofa high return. Of joy. If fun. Of booty. Of whatever males that cookie crumble.
Never Veoh.g more than you are prepared to lose, and if you hit the atm expect that you may ne spending more than you ought to. Ymmv
I think your perspective is just off. It depends on what you’re looking for, and how to go about getting it.
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If it wasn’t for Japanese pubs, I think the whole country would have evaporated in a psychic burst of rage and frustration. There was a good movie about the consequences of taking life too seriously and not getting a little drink on once and again. It was called Akira.
It’s a two-way street. Sure, we can’t get a really good look at the person we’re hitting on. But they can’t get a really good look at us either. Some of us find that advantage outweighs the disadvantage.