Bat attack!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I spotted a bat flying around my house tonight as I made my way up to my bedroom. Now, I’d like to tell you that I calmly trapped the harmless little fella in a coffee can and released him outside in a very man-like way. I’d love to tell you that. In fact, here was the approximate thought process that occurred:

[QUOTE=ToS’s Brain]

Hum-dee-dum. Walking up the stairs. Step. Step. Step.

Uh…what was that shadow? I’m the only one in this house tonight. It was probably just the stairwell light flickering. Hmm. I guess I’ll just keep-WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!?

OK, calm down. Was that a bat? Brown, airborne, disgusting. It had to be…I’ve never seen a moth that big, so it’s either a bat or Mothra. OK, be calm now. You stay away, vile vermin! I’m going to walk into my room without incident! Yes, you stay in that room and OH MY GOD DON’T TOUCH ME! PLEASE DON’T LAND ON ME!

Whew…he flew into the other room. That was close. Another one like that and-AUUUUUGHHHHHHHH! DON’T FLY INTO ME! FOR THE LOVE OF OG PLEASE DON’T BRUSH ME WITH YOUR DEMONIC, LEATHERY WINGS OF RABID DEATH-BRINGING!!!

Alright, he’s back into the other room. Get your shit together. Time to just bolt into your bedroom. Ready? 1…2…3…GO!

STEPSTEPSTEPOPENDOORSLAM!
[/QUOTE]

Now the bastard’s got me holed up in my room. I took a peek out a while ago, and it looked like he was taking time to plot his next move while hanging maliciously in the stairwell. His break from flying gave me the opportunity to open a window in the other room on this floor. I kept my eye on him the whole time.

A little later, I decided to see if he had found his way outside. I poked my head out of my room, and the little hellspawn flew right at me. He hit the door just inches from my head. It was as obvious a threat as a hissing cat with arched back, or a grizzly reared back onto its hind legs. There’s no way I’m opening that door again tonight.

This doesn’t mean I have to return my Man Card, does it? I’ve always been kind of an indoor kid, but I can change a tire. I can throw a football. I mean, freaking Batman was afraid of bats, wasn’t he? Of course, he probably would have been prepared for a situation such as this…

2

Aw, he won’t hurt you! Just find a pair of thick gloves, toss a towel over him or net him, gather him up, and put him outside.
I catch and release bats around here when they get into the house, or various neighborhood houses.
They’re beautiful little creatures, actually.

3

Sure, nonacetone. You’re probably just part of the bat conspiracy, trying to lull me into a sense of safety.

I checked around, and it appears that the bat in question was one of these. Myotis lucifugus. Look at that, its scientific classification nearly contains the name Lucifer! Evil, I tell you.

Well, curiosity (and my full bladder) got the best of me. I stepped into the stairwell, and it appears he used his echolocation to echolocate the open window. I only hope he didn’t call all of his bat friends, who are now waiting for the right moment to ambush me.

Anyway, time for bed.

4

I’m glad it worked out well for everyone, Team of Scientists! I’m sure he didn’t tell his little bat friends, as he probably didn’t want to be in your house anymore than you wanted him there. Besides, it’s probably against the ‘Bat Doctrine’ for him to be in a human home, anyway. :wink:

5

My Dad is terrified of bats. And as we live in the “Land of Mouse” he occasionally goes to Animal Kingdom. I haven’t gone with him yet. But I wonder what he does on the India walk thru exhibit. Because there is a FRUIT BAT HOUSE. Where they have many HUGE, I mean, VEERY LARGE BATS on display in a nice safe (for everyone) habitat. And AK is his favorite Disney Park to go to. Bats sometimes get into his bedroom up in his NC cabin and I understand that he freaks right out. I have only witnessed one freak out but it way over a RAT, that had run over his toes while he was showering. I would freak over anything joining me in the shower uninvited, too.

6

And to think I came into this forum to post about The Attack of the Pointy Insects; a.k.a. the three hornet’s nests that are trying to kill me (including one that simply fell out of a tree onto my driveway! :eek: ).

Mr. K sprayed one nest, but another lively one is plotting against me under my eaves. And there is yet ANOTHER nest forming on the old photo printer that I keep forgetting to haul down to the curb. And still more setting up camp under my grill cover. I’m doomed.

But not as doomed as you, Bat-Boy! I’d have to kill myself in order to ever sleep again.

7

Hornets? I’ve heard those little buggers are menacing. Wouldn’t keep me from laughing maniacally as I sprayed their precious nests, though. From a safe distance, of course.

Something seems to be in the works in the animal kingdom (and I’m not talking about the Disney one). I feel as though we may have stumbled onto their grand plan. It’s like in Independence Day, when the aliens are maneuvering all of their pieces into place, getting ready to strike. Sure, today it’s just bats and hornets, but don’t be surprised if you find a bloodthirsty hyena in your kitchen tomorrow.

Or, you know, it’s just a stray bat and a few hornet’s nests, and I’ve got conspiracy on the mind. In any case, I’m not the only guy who’s afraid of bats.

8

No, you’re not, Team of Scientists.

I was asked to remove a few bats from a ‘biker’ clubhouse last summer.
Even the great big, menacing-looking guys (They’re really nice guys. They just look scary to those who don’t take the time to get to know them, is all! Ummm…sort of like bats, actually!) don’t want to tangle with bats. :stuck_out_tongue:

9

[QUOTE=nonacetone]
Aw, he won’t hurt you! Just find a pair of thick gloves, toss a towel over him or net him, gather him up, and put him outside.
I catch and release bats around here when they get into the house, or various neighborhood houses.
They’re beautiful little creatures, actually.
[/QUOTE]

That’s what I used to do when the little fellows make their way from the crawl space into the house, or fly through the window.

These days I just dangle a towel beside them and nudge them over with a very gentle tap on the ribs. They hang onto it until I get them outside, and off they fly.

There’s one particular one I think is starting to like being in the house though. I recognize him by the torn ear, and I find him in my room or hanging on my door about once a week. One of these days I’m going to name him.

10

I had a bat in the house last night. I was watching TV and saw a shadow. It was roughly in synch with what was on TV so I ignored it. Then I saw it again. It was definitely a bat! As I got up it flew above me :eek: I got the tennis racket and put on a hooded sweatshirt and gloves. Id go into a room, bang around and then if no bat I’d close the door.

I finally got it in my bedroom (hanging on wall). I closed the door (from outside my room), and got a chair, butter tub, and piece of cardboard.
I brought the chair in and closed the door.

I managed to place the chair next to the wall and then trap the bat against the wall with the butter tub. I then slid the cardboard behind the tub (the bat resisted a bit) I brought it oustside, close teh house door and set it free.

Bats are wonderful creatures, but they are VERY freaky WHEN IN YOUR HOUSE.

Brian