One has a keen analytical mind, perfectly hewn body, dresses up in tights, and hangs out with teenage boys. The other is Batman.
Ho’od win in a free for all (both men having opportunity to prepare themselves)?
Batman would kick Cecil in the balls. Batman knows more ways to kick someone in the balls than anyone else.
Cecil, OTOH, has big brass balls.
Advantage: Cecil
3 out of 5 Falls.
Batman. Easy.
Is Batman prepared?
IMO, Cecil Adams is beyond such physical confrontations and fisticuffs like the ones you young’ums are into. He’ll simply snipe at Batman with a well-placed bon mot, and its sarcastic insight will send Batman scurrying away in shame.
No no no, they’d pretend to fight.
You see, the only reason they’d be fighting is because some villian figured out a way to get them to think each other was the enemy. However, they both would’ve seen through such a pathetic ruse as soon as it came up, then they’d stage a mock battle to lure the villian out of hiding to watch the fireworks.
Then they’d both turn on him and beat him senseless. Then explain to him exactly what he did wrong, pointing out past villians who had tried similar things, and making references to at least one scholarly and one humorous work as to why they were doomed to failure in the first place.
Wait a second, has anyone ever seen Cecil and Batman in the same room?
But have you ever seen Cecil?
How do we know that Cecil isn’t batman?
Cecil. He’s smart enough to bring a gun. Bam! No more Batman!
Ah, but Batman is smart enough to know that Cecil is smart enough to bring a gun, and will be – that’s right – prepared.
But Cecil is smart enough to know that Batman is smart enough to know that Cecil is smart enough to bring a gun, and will himself be prepared.
But Batman is smart enough to know that Cecil is smart enough to know that Batman is smart enough to know that Cecil is smart enough to bring a gun, and will be prepared.
But Cecil . . .
You know what? Nobody would win! It’s a logical impossibility! We should vote it an honorary Zeno’s Paradox. 