I was the Dungeon Master too and loved fucking with wish loopholes.
And the Miracle Machine is a Cosmic Cube-esqe device given to the Legion by the Controllers back in Adventure Comics towards the end of their run. I was gonna quibble that if it was built with Controller-tech it would be virus-proof, but I couldn’t back it up, so…
Great job!
Fenris
PS: If impenatrable invisible force fields bug you, the old Green Lantern villian “The Shark” must make your head explode. He has an “Invisible yellow force-field”. Their words, not mine. No. I don’t get it either and that one was a Schwartz book and Schwartz’s writers usually knew better.
I never thought I would take this side of this argument, but… Is there any evidence that relativity holds? In the DC universe, that is. I have a very strong suspicion that it does not. And just to meaninglessly nitpick, it’s just Special Relativity you want there, not General. Handy mnemnonic: Special, S, Speed. General, G, Gravity.
And just be glad that you never tried to use a Wish while I was DMing, if those Miracle Machine examples you came up with are typical. I can think of at least a dozen ways to twist those wishes of yours to bring about Zod’s defeat or even utter destruction. As a simple example, Wish #2, in the process of stripping Zod of his vulnerabilities, would most likely also strip him of his powers as well.
By the way, I laugh at the Iron Curtain of Time. Why, anyone at all who’s obsessed with the concept of time travel would find it trivially easy to bypass that one. All you do is set the time machine of your choice to a few seconds before the time interval being shielded by the Curtain, and then take a nap.
I never did anything with wishes except give them exactly what they asked for.
Of course, they did the same thing when they were the DM.
Yeah, there was a Hawkman story, obviously from before Crisis, that had him using his cruiser to match the near light speed of an incoming unknown. They mentioned the increased mass and time dilation. Maybe it was Hawkgirl…
On fairly frequent occasion, either Barry Allen (Flash II, Silver Age), or Wally West (Flash III, modern), has charged a foe at near light speed, reasoning that his fist would have near infinite mass. It works, too. I always wondered why the object he hit wouldn’t have near infinite mass, thanks to inertial reference frames.
Peyote, I have only given out a couple, both in the original Ravenloft module. The party decided they wanted to play with a Deck of Many Things and they got lucky. But that was a one shot with high powered characters from several different campaigns. In the FR campaign that I am DMing (currently on hiatus), they have quite a way to go to get close to a wish.
Batman unwittingly begins a mutiny on the Enterprise by infiltrating the crew disguised as a red-shirted ensign who inexplicably doesn’t die stupidly on an away mission. Passed out in sick bay, Bones discovers Batman’s miniaturized weapons stash hidden under a patch of false edidermal skin and alerts the bridge crew immediately; Spock hypothesizes the possiblity of Batman being a Romulan super-spy or a really geeky 21st century fanboy. The sick bay goes on lockdown. Batman nonetheless woos Nurse Chapel into distracting the guards whom he shortly overpowers before running amok. This leads to a merry cat-and-mouse game aboard the Enterprise in which Batman 1) beats Sulu in a really rousing swordfight 2) laughs himself sick at Chekov’s early Beatles hairdo 3) gives Uhuru her REAL first taste of Jungle Fever, since this particular adventure preceded the events of Plato’s Stepchildren and 4) gets Scotty drunk, takes over the engine room while he makes modifcations to the warp core and convert it to a time portal and get back to his own era.
Enter a mildly pissed Kirk. Batman unleashes a volley of 21st century martial arts moves Kirk hadn’t seen since Khan. He dislodges Kirk’'s hairpiece. His girdle snaps. And as he prepares to toss Kirk out on his ass, Batman makes a rare error: he rips Kirk’s shirt. He peers into the nametag inside.
“Tiberius?” he says, repressing a smirk.
“You… ripped my uniform,” intones Kirk. Then he lashes out.
Later in Sick Bay, Bones continues to perform a delicate proctorestomy while he chastises his Captain for the severity of Batman’s injuries. He understood, for example, why during the heat of battle he might have put his foot up Batman’s *** but did he really feel it was necessary to rip Batman a new one, too? Kirk cracks a joke that, if they HAD to be attacked by stupidly dressed 21st century vigilantes, at least it wasn’t more mutants, like that LAST time. Spock, as usual, fails to see the humor in this.
I go away for a few days, find Phantom Zone Kryptonians, the old Titans villain Warp, and now ripped-shirt Kirk?!?
Having Batman take advantage of DC continuity like boom tubes etc is cheating a little. Boom tubing Zod back into the Phantom Zone or into the heart of a red giant is Mr Miracle’s resolution, not Batman’s.
The Kryptonite gloves from DKSA should take care of Zod. He can’t approach faster than the speed of the radiation (or can he?): as soon as he gets near, Bats gives him a broken jaw for his troubles.
I think that before Batman could even hope to get the Bat-Sewing Machine [sup]TM[/sup] out, he would fall victim to the Torn Shirt Kirk Maneuver [sup]TM[/sup].*
(*An exaggerated big karate chop to the back of the neck causing instant unconsciosness in the victim … always.)
I don’t know about gravity but if the sun works by combustion rather than fusion there must be some major restructuring in the electromegnetic and nuclear forces.
But I can’t think of a fun way Batman can defeat superman knowing this
He has an “Invisible yellow force-field”. Their words, not mine. No. I don’t get it either and that one was a Schwartz book and Schwartz’s writers usually knew better.