Battle of the Bad Dads: Homer vs. Peter vs. Stan

Cafe Society
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That would be Simpson, Griffin, and Smith, of course. If I have to name the shows you probably have neither much interest nor much to contribute. If you want to argue which of them is the worst husband as well–or to bring Marge, Lois, and Francine into the dock as well–that’s fine with me.

I’ll get things rolling with a few pros & cons for all three:

Homer Simpson:
Pro: Willing to undergo significant personal privation and/or discomfort to keep his children happy (his taking two jobs to pay for Lisa’s pony, for instance, and his masquerading as a robot to earn Bart’s respect). Considers making his children cry grounds for felonious assault and is not likely to care what the reason is.

Con: Actively abuses Bart, though it’s always played for laughs. Because he’s stupid and shortsighted, perpetually alienates himself from his chidren, good intentions or no.

Peter Griffin
Pro: Um–I’ll get back to you on that. (Well, he’s got a hot wife, but that doesn’t make him any better a parent.)

Okay, he seems to understand Chris fairly well. Though the way they get along is probaby not to Chris’ betterment.

Con: Probably the stupidest of the three. Actively and vocally hates both Meg and Stewie. Competed with Chris over who had the larger wigwam.

Rebuttal: Everyone hates Meg; inspiring hate seems to be her mutant power. Also she may well be a cuckoo baby anyway, so he’d really be a bad guardian in her case. Likewise Stewie, and in addition, given that he’s even now planning to murder Lois and conquer the world, hating that amusing little bastard is probably rational.

Stan Smith
Pro: Easily the most professionally successful of the three. Once encouraged his geeky son by confessing to his own geeky past. Showed willingness to destroy his own career to avenge an insult to his daughter…

Cons : … well, eventually, after he pimped her out to his boss. Also has mocked the geeky son far more often than he’s encouraged him.

I’ll leave it to my fellow dopers to continue.

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I forgot to give my own opinon! :smack:

I’ll go with Homer as the best Dad and Peter as the worst–though really, all seven of the kids in question woul dbe better off if their fathers fell into a live volcano.

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How did this end up in GD? :smack: :smack:
Mods, please move it to CF where God and nature meant it to be.

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I agree with the rankings. Homer–when he’s not written as jerk-ass Homer, at least–seems to generally care about his kids and shows remorse when the consequences of his latest thoughtless blunder. Peter is simply a raging narcissist. So is Stan, but, like you said, at least he’s a competent provider.

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please insert the phrase “he sees” between “when” and “the” in my post above. :smack:

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What about…Al Bundy?

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  1. Who is Stan Smith?
  2. Al Bundy should be in the running.
  3. Hi Opal!
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He’s the American Dad!

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Stan Smith is the star of American Dad. He is a hyperly-pro-Bush CIA agent who appears to put the safety of the Homeland above the safety of his own family. As far as fathers go, I think he may be the worst. I’ll admit I don’t watch Dad as much as The Simpsons or Family Guy, but Homer and Peter are able to tolerate their children. Stan thinks his son is too geeky and his daughter is too much of a hippie. Homer doesn’t really mind the way his children act, and is even able to bring Bart into line (sometimes). Peter…um…Peter is just Peter. Although he helps his kids out sometimes, he appears to just not really know they are there most of the time. And his son is dumber than he is, which shows which side of the family he gets his genes from. We’ve had 17 years to study Homer, as opposed to five for Peter and two for Stan, so we know more about Homer. He may be a buffoon, but he loves his children. Homer is Homer. And there’s no other way we would want it.

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Right. I guess the distinction has gotten thinner over the years, since Homer keeps getting more and more thoughtless, but he’s just not as bad.

I’ve only seen about two episodes of American Dad, but Stan seems to be a deeply paranoid, violent psychopath. That kinda trumps the “makes fun of his geeky kid” thing. :wink:

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Stan Smith is the star of American Dad.

I hadn’t thought about Al, as I was restricting myself to (a) cartoon dads and (b) characters with shows currently on the air. But if somebody wants to pro-con the Bundy patriarch–and maybe also Hal from Malcolm in the Middle–be my guest.

I’m really hoping somebody will do Marge, Lois, and Francine though* I’m just too lazy to start it right now.

*(Wait, that came out wrong. Besides, while Lois and Francine might do it a group if their husbands suggested it, or if they were high, Marge never would).

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Oh, I wouldn’t say Stan is a psychopath. I’d say he’s a sociopath. :wink:

But we’re talking about parenting skills here (and husbanding as well, if anybody ever gets to it). Stan may feel his kids are embarrassments, but he is still quite loyal to them when it comes down to it; unlike Peter Griffin he neither hates them and he knows all their names.

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Wrong. Meg’s mutant power is the ability to grow her fingernails longer!

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She wasn’t born with that power. She gained it from radiation. The ability to inspire the hatred of all and sundry, contrariwise, seems innate, and over time has grown powerful enough to affect even her mother. Only Brian, thus far, seems immune.

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Yes, but I do think being a violent nut affects the parenting skills.

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All 8 kids - 3 Simpson, 3 Griffin, 2 Smith.

I think, in general, I agree with your rankings, although Peter does have his good points, on occasion. I think he does actually CARE for the kids (even Meg), but he’s just an absolutely clueless idiot about them. Same for Stan.

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He’s not violent towards the kids, though, and shows little inclination to become so. Besides, I wasn’t arguing that Stans’s a good parent–just not as bad as Peter Griffin.

I should have included Hank Hill in my original list. He’s clearly the best of the four, having the virtue of being neither stupid nor insane.

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But if we’re getting into moms, Peggy Hill is the stupidest, most obnoxious, and least-attractive when compared to Marge, Francine, and especially Lois… giggitygiggitygiggity goo!

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When has Peter Griffin actively and vocally hated Stewie?

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I can’t recall the episode title–and by “can’t recall” I mean “never knew”–but I believe it was the episode in which Lois became a karate master. Peter and Lois go into marital counseling and the therapist suggests that Peter write a note to each member of the family expressing his true feelings. His letter to Stewie was two words long: “Get out.”