Gah, that’s dreadful, zenith. What a horrible burden to place on a kid.
I hear the expression sometimes, “There but for the grace of God go I” and I always think, “What kind of deity spreads his grace around so randomly?” The other one is, “It’s God’s will” (that someone you love died). I understand that some people need to pass the responsibility for things onto a deity, but they often don’t realize how very hurtful this is to someone who has suffered a loss.
It’s all so situational as to the proper course to take when one is diagnosed with cancer.
Elizabeth Edwards, whose husband is a super-rich attorney can afford lots of expensive procedures that will extend her life a few months.
Less well-off people have to consider the effects that spending one’s family into bankruptcy for those extra couple of months might have on that family and might want to spend no more than it costs to send pain meds and the hospice worker to his/her home.
None of us has the right to call such a person “cowardly”. My late father chose to die at home because he figured that my sister with Down Syndrome and whichever of us other children would be taking care of her needed money more than he needed a couple more months.
My wife had 6 “rat poison” treatments for lymphoma 5 years ago. We had pretty good hospitalization insurance, though lousy drug coverage, and the doctor gave us a favorable prognosis. Had we been uninsured , been “too rich” to qualify for Medicaid, and had we been given a dismal prognosis, we might not have been so “brave and determined”.
Qadcop the mercotan
Above, you mentioned that there was no way to boost immune response. A few months ago I was giving my wife some sort of injection every morning for a five-day course. It was in small vials and was injected just under the skin, like a TB test. I was under the impression that that drug, whatever it was, boosted white-cell production temporarily. Sorry, the vials and needles are long gone or I’d give you the name. The drug was intended to counter the effects of Carboplatin or Cisplatin.
Regards
testy
“My locus 249 on my p53 gene will totally come unfucked if I think good thoughts.”
Where did I claim that? 
QtM
You did not say that and I sincerely apologize for saying you did. I seem to have completely mis-read something and should remember to either include a quote or shut up. :smack:
On a related topic, what is the effect of neutronium on the immune system?
Regards
Testy
Annie, thanks for the link to Ehrenreich’s article.
I’m going to send it to my mother, who is a doctor working in oncology.
I think she’ll enjoy it, she’s not a big fan of the pink glurge.
It’s funny that this stuff about being brave and fight hard is always said about cancer and not about heart disease, isn’t it? Nobody thinks you avoid further heart attacks by sheer optimism and positive thinking (or if they do, they’re not very smart). How on earth could you avoid a relapse or spread of cancer by being upbeat?
Sublight
Ain’t that the truth! At one point my wife and I had Buddhist, Christian, Moslem, and Hindu serious believers praying for her. None of it did richard. The “plucky fighter” shit didn’t help either. Cancer doesn’t care about your attitude. The surgeons, oncologists, nurses and literally tons of medical equipment, OTOH, gave her an additional 5 years.
Regards
testy
Use your courage and determination not to get it.
Fair enough; I was not using ‘skepticism’ with your nuance, which implies scientific examination. I was using it in the classic sense, meaning doubt as in ‘I don’t think this will ever work and therefore won’t look at it’. I completely agree it bears examination and I hope that the theory gets thoroughly tested and that some very solid results come out of it. Soon.
As it is, I’m battling with the whole soy question; either it mimics estrogen but does not promote growth of breast cancer or else because it mimics estrogen it promotes growth of breast cancer. 
zenith, I’m sorry you encountered a bunch of idiots at your school. I have no explanation except maybe a sort of magical thinking thing going on - they hoped furiously that it was true that cancer could be prayed away because they feared their own fates and wanted to believe they could get God to make the bad nasties go away for them if they believed hard enough. I’m sure some people who take these things to the extreme are indulging in that kind of wishful thinking.
It’s probably also very scary for people to admit that they have absolutely zero control over such things. I imagine the illusion that it is always possible to defeat cancer with prayer if you just do it right gives some folks a sense of control.
To me, that’s cynicism.
Maybe estrogens mimic soy. 
Fuck no. A post in which the harshest language is “bitch”, and even that is used with reference to a disease and not a person? Ya gotta try a bit harder than that to be a pro.
A man is very late for an important appointment, but he can’t find a park. As he drives he beseeches God, saying he will cease to sin if only God will provide him with a park. A moment later, as he continues down the road, a parking space appears. He rolls his eyes heavenwards and says “Forgeddaboutit, God. I found one myself”.
In fairness to Dr Healy, I thought I would post her reply to me:
"You are so right. But the reference to “giving in” is about one’s attitude and making every moment one has a living time. You are right about cancer–it has its cruel and often unpredictable way and none of us can control the final outcome.
Please read the last chapter in my book (the article was an exerpt from different chapters). It addresses this – and speaks to how vulnerable we all are; me too. Hopefully you will read the whole book and get back to me.
Best regards,
Bernadine Healy, MD"
Thanks to the those of you who replied upthread. We lost a niece to cancer so I admit a certain sensitivity. I appreciate the comments.
My mother is one of 11 children - of those, 6 have had cancer, including two colon and two breast cancers. My mother had uterine cancer while carrying me (that’s why there are only five kids in my family) and one of the breast cancers. My father was a non-smoker who died of lung cancer. My sister just finished a lumpectomy, chemo and radiation for breast cancer a month ago and was daignosed with thyroid cancer a couple weeks ago.
When you have that kind of genetic background, you just assume there will be a catastrophic illness in your future. You do what you can to treat it when it comes and you get on with living (or dying). It has nothing to do with being brave and everything to do with getting on with living while you still have a life.
StG
I think everyone has to assume there will be a catastrophic illness in their future. I’ve heard that 1 out of 3 people will get cancer and 50% experience some period of remission.
If it’s not cancer, it’ll probably be heart disease. If anything will make a difference, it’s quality health care. Poor people in this country can kiss their butt goodbye.
I agree that the whole glurge about courage beats cancer is crap with a capital C. And there is nothing wrong with feeling down or sad or angry about being sick and that does not mean you are any less likely to get better. In fact, I would say someone with a healthy dose of reality who can look at things optimistically, but objectively, has the best outlook. There is such a thing as burying your head in the sand with optimism as well, and some people are so afraid of bad news or truth that they won’t go to a doctor at all.
People like to hear the feel good stories though. No one creates a chain e-mail about the person who just got sicker and sicker until they died, or someone like my aunt, who was misdiagnosed from the start and no one even knew she had cancer until her autopsy.
This idea seems to be more prevalent with diseases that are known as women’s. As others have pointed out, you don’t hear this as often with heart disease or even testicular cancer. But I do hear a similar idea with infertility, that if you could just relax or stop worrying and have a positive outlook you can get pregnant. They say things like “it’s not meant to be” or “when you stop trying it will happen.” or even “you need to be a better person first.”
Or it could be that, you know, a tube is blocked or his sperm count is low, but it couldn’t be an actual physical reason now, could it? Children are only born to those who are completely ready in body and mind and spirit. I am sure that the small “stress” of trying to get pregnant is enough to stop it from happening. After all, all those women throughout history that managed to have children during war, plagues, famine, and political oppression know nothing of the stress that I endure.
It’s probably a good thing that our bodies are not too affected by what we are thinking - we would probably fuck them up more than we help them!
My sentiments exactly. That shit annoys me to no end. **SilverMother ** would still be alive today if cancer could be beaten by "not giving in, great courage, strength of character and determination’. SilverMother had every one of those and more. A fantastic, enduring sense of humor, a balanced perspective of her situation, a never-ending ability to deal in reality but still have hope for the future.
In the end, after fighting many mighty battles in which she displayed great courage and determination, she chose a dignified death at home. I find that to be exceptionally admirable.
Sometimes, cancer wins out and it’s not because the person wasn’t brave or courageous enough or lacked some other positive personality trait.
As SilverMother used to say, “Some days you’re the windshield, and some days you’re the bug.”
Miss you, Mama.
My best childhood friend died of acute leukemia in college, diagnosed Tuesday, right into a coma, and dead Friday. Sucked that a disease which is supposed to give you some time to say goodbye came so quick.
I have a friend who would attest to his aunt having positively visualized away a tumor. :rolleyes: Seems more likely that the gap between scans was enough time for the shadow to pass or for the results to not be mixed up.