Some people might cheat it by dying of something else, but otherwise it will be back to get you.
Sorry for the dark thoughts. Over the past 5 years my sister, mom and dad have all died of various forms of cancer. Every time someone says “I beat cancer!” or “I’m cancer-free!” I think “Not really. It will be back.” Rather than say these gloomy thoughts out loud and hurting people I know, I decided to bum you guys out with them instead. You’re welcome.
Not every kind of cancer recurs like that, but yes, many do. My problem with the “fight against cancer” metaphor is that even if you win, you only get what you thought you had before- your health. It’s not like cancer really loses. But dealing with cancer is an enormous slog and a fight or a war isn’t a bad metaphor for that experience.
And most importantly I’m sorry about your sister and your parents. Cancer fucking sucks.
I heard from an acquaintance of a guy who’s not even thirty who has a a particularly nasty form of cancer. Yep, not even 30, so his is an extraordinary case, and the prognosis is poor for anyone with this cancer regardless of age. His situation is dire (no pun intended), and additionally, it’s a little sad to hear that his family seems to have deluded themselves that they might be able to find some miracle cure. And they might, but I wouldn’t put any money on it.
Marley23, I agree in terms of hating the metaphor, if you die, you lost?? You gave up??
Oh, and FUCK CANCER
It is because there are many unknown factors for cancer remission and recurrence that Canadian Blood Services screens for past diagnoses of cancer.
Cervical cancer in situ, that has been resolved, is one category of a past cancer that is allowed to donate. The other is… lord help me I am tired and my mind is blank, but one of the skin cancers. When I worked for CBS and screened donors, we would have to tell people who had various experiences beating cancer that we were very happy for them, but unfortunately they were permanently deferred from being blood donors. It was a crushing experience for many, they were often very excited to “give the gift of life” after making their own recovery.
Yeah, cancer sucks. I have two cousins, one in his late 40s and one in his mid thirties fighting cancer right now. Plus numerous aunts, uncles and other good people. I had the experience this summer of seeing someone who was thin, a bit frail, in her late 60s, then seeing her six weeks later gaunt as a ghost. She died the day after I saw her. Pancreatic cancer. Honestly of all the ugly ones that one probably pisses me off more than most. I hate sneaky people ; it is a sneaky cancer.
Plenty of people beat cancer. But nobody beats death (which is something our society seems to have a lot of trouble accepting).
I’m so sorry you’ve lost so many family members over such a short period of time. That’s a terribly hard thing to deal with.
But then there are those inexplicable cases of people surviving despite practically every effort to kill themselves, like one of my friends’ mothers.
She’s smoked unfiltered Camels for at least 50 years and been an unapologetic alcoholic for probably just as long. Several years back she was unsurprisingly diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer, then a few months later experienced spontaneous remission. Later that year she was diagnosed with breast cancer, which was treated conventionally and she appears to be clear of that (for now). Currently she is dealing with congestive heart failure, and though she continues to drink and smoke, she seems to get stronger every time I see her. We joke that she’s going to outlive us all, but we all know that even she can’t dodge bullets forever. Frankly I’m shocked every time I see her still breathing (with a cigarette in her mouth to boot).
As a friend of mine put it: Despite all the modern medical advances, human mortality rate remains at 100%.
Might I throw a little hijack into this?
My six-year-old son has cancer, acute lymphoblastic leukemia, as I’ve detailed here on this board. Because of this, I am on a lot of childhood cancer support groups on facebook and email.
Something that bothers me to no end is the fact that I regularly see posts about how Child “A” WON their fight against cancer…when they passed away that night and are in heaven now and there is no suffering.
I fucking hate it, HATE IT. I know that the intent is to try and relieve a portion of the grief of the child’s family and friends, but damnit, I can’t stand it. I would rather mourn in dignity and come to acceptance that cancer fucking sucks and that there are very few cancers that can be truly beat, then to delude myself that death is a way to “win” against cancer.
My boy is doing really well with his treatments, extraordinarily so, enough so that he’s become a little bit of a “cancer celebrity” that the hospital likes to use to show how far we’ve come in fighting pediatric cancer. And yes, it is very unlikely that his cancer will take a turn for the worse at this point - he has beaten the 85% remission rate and the docs say that when his treatment is done in a little more than two years, there is a 90% chance that it will never come back.
But Og forbid that he falls within that 10% chance, and things turn for the worse and I end up losing him…if someone comes up to me and tells me he fucking “WON” his fight against cancer, I am going to end up in jail on assault charges.
there seems to be a genetic linkage to some cancers. if your parent(s) had it then you or your siblings might. you might get different areas affected.
if cancer develops and hasn’t spread then if you get it treated successfully, if you don’t that specific cancer at that location grow again in 5 years then people say you have beat cancer.
you still might have your tendency to develop cancer occur elsewhere.
it might be a true statement and a hopeful statement that you have beat cancer, though it is a limited statement.
Ew. Well, you found something worse than the stuff the OP was complaining about. …Thanks?
And I’m glad your son is continuing to do well.
Og forbid indeed, but no jury would convict.
My grandmother “won” the way the OP suggests: she had breast cancer in her 40s, lived another 50 years, and though the breast cancer recurred in her 90s she died of old age before it could kill her.
I meant to apologize for my language - I know this isn’t the pit, but it pushes my buttons something fierce!
Thanks Marley23, I am too. I am a little worried about him becoming, as my wife and I call it, “a pretty little princess” about things though. Celebrity has gone to his head a bit, and my ex does nothing on her end but encourage it. I’ll probably post on that later, when I have some time.
Dr. Drake, I would definitely insist on a jury trial. 
I know my outlook is overly pessimistic, especially when it comes to childhood cancers, since so much progress has been made against them in the last decades.
For adults diagnosed with cancer, though, I have a hard time seeing anything other than doom and gloom. I am very happy for anyone not currently living with an active diagnosis, but for anyone living with cancer, I just see a cloud over their head and feel quite hopeless for them. I’d like to believe they’ll get through it, but I am not able to right now.
I am disturbed by Woeg’s report of chldren “winning” their fight by dying. That makes me very sad.
I also get fed up with the “fight against cancer” and “winning” memes. Did my sister, diagnosed with breast cancer at 27, dying at 37, lose because she gave up? Because she was unworthy? Uncourageous? None of the above. It was tough on her when people would tell her she had to “fight harder” and “maintain a positive outlook” because it seemed to imply if she didn’t she’d be complicit in her own suffering and death. Screw that.
A-freakin’-men, sister. This is EXACTLY what bothers me about the who “fight” metaphor. It pisses me the fuck off. My step-dad died of cancer. He was the toughest, hardest fighting man I have ever known. Former SEAL, body builder, tough as nails. He fought as hard as any human possibly could. I hate the implication that he didn’t fight hard enough as much as I hate the implication that death is winning.
Ugh. Just so damned frustrating, the whole thing!
And hugs.
You have my sympathies and my complete understanding.
Ditto. Many hugs to you and your son. I hope he finds some joy every day.
There really is an xkcd for every situation.
Yep. My gf was diagnosed with breast cancer a couple years ago. After surgery and radiation she was given a decent prognosis, due to the oncogene tumor type.
We were both feeling pretty complacent, when a “friend” of hers sent a link to that xkcd.
Cancer sucks.
I hate that implication in “losing,” too. Most people are sensible enough not to suggest that people who die of cancer died because they didn’t fight hard enough. But people who are pushing alternative health bullshit or a religious angle or are just insecure say dumb shit.