I was in Las Vegas (on holiday from the UK) and going to my room via the lift.
A stunning woman in a skimpy outfit gets on the elevator and says “Hello’”.
I ask her what floor she would like.
She replies “Would you like to party with me?”
I reckon this is an invitation to break the Nevada State law about prostitution within the city.
So I politely decline and she departs saying “Your loss!”
Today I answer the door to see a smartly dressed glamourous woman (whom I don’t recognise.)
“Hello” she says “Is Rachel in?”
I live on my own, so explain there is no Rachel here. I ask if she has the right house number (mine is 18.)
She checks her phone and exclaims “Oh! She’s at number 16 - sorry to bother you.”
I tell her it’s no problem at all.
Happens to me all the time, too. Especially in grocery stores. They pretend they’re not interested and just walk by pretending to look at the shelves, but I can feel the magnetic attraction. Or maybe that’s heartburn; I never know for sure.
This sounds like the wrong response. Perhaps something like “I’d love to. I just lost all my cash to the casino and maxed out my credit cards. I need cheering up.”
In the 1990s my sister used to live in an area which bordered a notorious London red light district. In walking to her home from the train station I would often get propositioned several times and it got boring very fast. My brother-in-law had a humorous(?) response for all of the stock phrases they would use e.g.
Working girl: “Are you looking for a pretty girl?”
BIL: “Why, do you know any?”
Back in 1982 (or so) I went to the National Computer Conference in Houston which was held in the massive convention center by the Astrodome. When the day ended the places was surrounded by a cordon of young ladies. Who seemed surprised about being ignored by the computer geeks. Maybe they did better when the salesmen (and I use men on purpose) left.
The only time that I recall it happening to me was one time when I was walking down the street - with my wife. I quickly, frantically even, tried to explain to this gorgeous woman that I wasn’t who she thought I was. My wife had once not spoken to me for 2 days because, she finally revealed, she had dreamed that I had an affair with one of her best friends.
Oddly this was part of a little trifecta of such events. In the space of a few weeks 3 different people were certain that I was a different person that they knew.
Well if we’re sharing frivolous anecdotes, some years ago I was in the liquor store and picked up a bottle of Tanqueray gin. Around that time Tanqueray was giving away a really nice glass with each bottle, etched with the Tanqueray logo, which is my favourite glass for gin & tonic. I have two of them.
Anyway, Tanqueray at this point had stopped offering the glasses with their regular gin and had switched them to some kind of flavoured crap. As I picked up the bottle (with no free glass) a really gorgeous woman approached me and said how much she liked the free glasses, and I said I did, too, and had a couple of them. She leaned over conspiratorially and whispered that I could just take the glass from the flavoured crap and put it on the bottle I was buying, and no one would be the wiser.
Now, the correct thing to do here would be to agree with her and do just that, and then engage her in friendly banter as we went to the checkout together. So, what did I do? Typical nerdish idiot that I am, I said that it wouldn’t be right to do that, managing to insult this cute and friendly lady and, implicitly, practically accuse her of being a criminal. So she walked off, and I spent the next while kicking myself and thinking, “WHY did I just insult a gorgeous woman who was trying to make friendly conversation?”
You’re ahead of me. I’ve only got one such Tanqueray glass.
My story: I’m sitting at the bar in a Las Vegas casino. Video poker games are embedded in the bar, and I’m playing. It’s not busy, and I’m chatting with the barman while I play.
A young lady sits down right next to me–odd, because there must have been two dozen seats at the bar, and only two or three were occupied. Heavily made-up, but not to the point of overdone, short dress, high heels, hair carefully done. She orders some fancy cocktail, and starts playing video poker also, but only a couple of hands; enough to get her a comped drink. Every now and then, she glances over at my game. I continue to play, and banter with the barman. Nothing serious, just about sports and such.
When she finished her cocktail, she said, “You know, you could be having a lot more fun with me than with that video poker game.”
“Oh, probably,” I said, keeping my eyes on the game. “But right now, I’m finding video poker to be plenty of fun.”
She realized that she had just wasted a lot of her potential money-making time in an effort to pick up the guy (me) on the next barstool. “Hmph!” And she cashed out and walked away.
I looked at the barman, who was trying to suppress a laugh. He didn’t succeed. “You handled that hooker beautifully,” he said, once he had composed himself.
The one or two times women that I didn’t know just waltzed over and started chatting me up, it turned out that they just wanted to tell me all about Jesus.
ETA: Oh yeah, there was that one who chased after me for several weeks, trying to get me to join the Moonies with her.
Yeah, once a very attractive young lady approached me to talk about how she used to be such a sinner until she found Jesus. I was feeling frisky and couldn’t help myself:
“Oh, what kind of sinning? Could you describe it in detail? Do you have any pictures?”
for them.