All I have to say to myself is “@#%! you @#%@#@ coward %#@@#~!”
I was in the grocery store the other day and there was woman who really caught my eye. God, she was gorgeous. She was all alone too. Should I have tried to initiate a conversation and how? I am hating myself for not saying anything to her. There was something inexplicably appealing about her, beyond her good looks. I wish I had said “HI” at least. I can’t stop thinking about her. I can’t get her image out of my mind. She kind of resembled Serena Altshul of MTV and was very tall. Dohhhhh! Why do I gotta be such a :wally
There’s just something about grocery stores. I don’t know what it is, but you can find the most beautiful women in there. I used to be a late night shopper. I’d drop in around 11 or 12 in the evening to do my shopping. The store would be quiet, usually no more than 10 or 20 customers in the whole place, but always at least one gorgeous woman. Perhaps it needs some more in depth study…
Been there, done that man. It’s this nagging voice in the back of your mind telling you, “Don’t make a fool out of yourself. Don’t make a fool out of yourself.”
It sucks. If anybody knows how to make it shut up without the use of narcotics, let me know.
I hate grocery stores with a passion. Whoever decided to arm the kiddies with those mini-carts (ie: knee-height) should go straight to hell, do not pass go. I’m ultra-budget concious, and I have to keep a running tab in my head. The lighting makes my head hurt, the MuZak makes my ears ring, I always start shivering in the refrigerated section. Needless to say, I don’t think I have ever made eye contact with another human being in a supermarket.
We’ve all been there at least a hundred times. I have a friend who has no shyness about starting a conversation with anyone… but he’s an absolute self-centered jerk who thinks he’s the center of the universe. Other than that, I think it is normal for a guy to be afraid of been turned down rudely. it just shows he cares about what the woman thinks – my friend couldn’t care less.
I try a soft approach which will allow her a gracious exit if that is what she wants. Unfortunately, in my experience, women are often just as insecure and shy and so feel they should not continue the conversation. I, being respectful, do not insist and … we each go our own ways kicking ourselves for the lost chance. Such is life.
I have to say I have never been made to feel bad by a woman who turned me down politely and gracefully. What I do not understand is why being turned down rudely would make me feel bad. I mean, I wouldn’t want a woman like that anyhow. Just one more mistery of life.
The truth is also not so encouraging. She was probably shopping for her boyfriend anyway. At least that’s what I like to tell myself after I miss a chance.
Yeah, we all chicken out sometimes, and regret at least taking a chance.
A few weeks ago, I saw a kid checking out the pond in the courtyard at work (at a local college), and asked him if he had seen the turtles. Next thing I know, he’s asking me about my marital status. His mother came over, and we chatted briefly about that (she seemed pretty embarassed), and I went back to work! Fool! I even knew at the time that the kid’s effort shouldn’t be ignored, at least to the point of asking her out for coffee, but I walked away. Fool! Fool! Fool! She would have at least turned me down nicely, I’m sure.
I know the feeling well. I never know what to say in one of these “chance encounters” type situations. Like the supermarket. Or sitting in a restaurant and noticing an attractive woman eating with her friends/family. How do you make a conversation like that? What do you say after “Hello”? “I noticed you checking out those melons. What a coincidence”?
I once saw this beautiful woman in line, and I said something about how she must like rings because she was wearing a bunch of them. She gave me this look like “Why are you talking to me?” Really hard to move forward from there.
It’s even worse when you do manage to start it and exchange a couple of phrases and then your brain just goes blank and you feel like an idiot.
or you get the conversation going and her boyfriend or husband comes up… I’ve had that happen and I just say Hi but I know what the guy’s thinking
That’s why I always enjoy it when I’m with a girl in a bookstore or other public place and we are roaming on our own. Some guy starts talking to her and after a few minutes she says “well, nice chatting but I better go back with that guy over there” and we exchance glances
I LOVE grocery shopping. It’s like a toy store for grown-ups.
And yes, meeting women there is a great thing. Tentative eye contact, followed by a smile that you work into conversation a few aisles later (why do you think I go the ‘opposite/wrong’ way up the aisles?).
And women do it too. Just watch them check out what’s in your basket. She’s looking for feminine hygeine products or other signs you’re simply on an errand for a SO.
And apparently Wednesday night is Singles shopping night here in Oz. So far I haven’t had reason to change nights.
I feel your pain my brotha. However, fear not, one day you will get the nerve to talk to a random girl and may even ask her out. I just have to say that I got another phone number today and I’m just stoked beyond belief. It’s a great feeling to actually ignore those little voices of doubt in the back of your head and just go ahead and talk.
Just do it. Easy for me to say, since I have never approached a man that has caught my eye, but the biggest reason for that is not knowing if he’s single. It’s safer for you single guys, because most married women wear wedding bands (proudly) So many married men don’t wear rings (I like to think they are just as proud, but work in jobs where their fingers could be ripped from their bodies by wearing a ring) Also, while I’m on the subject, don’t think a woman is not going to respond to you due to looks, shape, age, etc. Talk to her anyway. We all have different tastes. AND … a smile is the best start. If you smile at me I can’t help but smile back. Even if it turns out that you are not someone that I would be interested in dating, it will make my day that you found me attractive enough to give it a shot.
The wedding ring issue is a poor excuse for not taking the initiative. The presence of a gold band almost certainly marks the man as married but the absense of one means nothing. He may be married, involved, available, or not interested.
The same things apply in reverse. Often times divorced women will continue to wear their wedding rings. Married women have been known to leave the house without wearing their rings.
Personally, I don’t wear any jewelry. When Mrs. Style and I married, I explained that I didn’t wear jewelry, not even a watch, and would prefer to not wear a band. But I also volunteered that if it were important to her I would wear a wedding ring. And about once a year I renew that offer.
Several years ago while on vacation, I was in the housewares section of a KMart about 300 miles from home. I’d picked up some dish/hand towels to do some cleaning and was heading for the checkout when I literally ran into a tall, shapely, and attractive woman. I apologized and started back toward checkout when she said, “Don’t I know you?”. I replied that I didn’t think so being that I was from out of town. “No. I’m sure we’ve met before” she replied.
Anyway, we exchanged pleasantries while I argued that I was sure that we’d never met and finally headed for the checkout. Only when I got in line did it occur to me that the woman was making the first move.
And that my response was to argue with her. :wally
This is one of those times where we need a Wally adjective.
