I just stand there and admire their butt.
Which is what I did today.
Wooh!
Sorry to rain on your fantasies but life is not a letter to Penthouse. Unfortunately odds are very high that the very attractive woman you see in the grocery store or on the street absolutely does not want to be approached by a total stranger. It is most likely going to be a disturbing and even frightening experience for her. Don’t do it!
About seven years ago I was dating a beautiful single mother. She was six feet tall with large breasts and long blonde hair. She worked out in the gym every day. She got hit on an average of nine times a day by total strangers and she hated it. I was in a nice restaurant with her and when she went to the washroom a man followed her into the woman’s can to tell her he thought she was very beautiful.
My wife gets followed around sometimes in the grocery store by young guys in the grip of some fantasy and it pisses her off.
If you are a gentleman do not do this.
Having said all that - rules are made to be broken. Keep your eyes and ears open. Maybe she’ll drop something or have a question or some kind of opening will occur, but the cold approach out of the blue is almost always unpleasant for a woman in a public place.
Having said all that - I’m Canadian and when I’ve been in the US I notice the social culture is somewhat different. Maybe American women think it’s normal to be hit on in public places by total strangers. From my personal experience in years of single guyhood: hitting on strangers is a terrible way to get laid. If it happens it’s because they’ve (a) sent out a clear signal to you, or (b) you’ve both been caught up in a situation where the stranger barrier is broken down (a car fender bender or a request for directions or help).
The best move that brought me dozens of love affairs is to build up the biggest possible friend and social network you can. Join clubs, go to night school, network, network, network… Everybody has friends and friends of friends. An act of kindness or a friendly gesture can pay off years later. Be very nice to that 350 pound lady you are introduced to at a party. One time I walked around the corner of a building to have a smoke and met another guy, a total stranger, standing there. We said hello and talked for 45 SECONDS when two girls he knew also came around the corner. He played the game well, introduced me, the girls became my friends. A couple of times I’ve had beautiful women I hardly knew show up at my door because a girlfriend or sister had ben telling them what a good guy I was.
Sorry for the long post but I know there are a lot of young single guy dopers out there and I just want to share some experience. We used to have a saying in college when we were planning something like a party or road trip: “Remember, if just one man gets one piece of tail this will all be worth while.”
Amen! I have been noticing a fine young gentleman in my local store a couple of times. Now I go in there hoping he will be too - how lame is that??? I do the smile thing and try to think of a question that I would need a man’s advice on - p-lease!! Isn’t the grocery store the woman’s territory, unless we’re near the charcoal!! 
My advice - ask a question about anything - if she’s not interested, you’ll be able to tell!
When you see cute woman in grocery store, make eye contact and smile sheepishly. If she smiles back at you, initiate conversation. Don’t tell her “you’re really beautiful” or use anything that could sound like a line.
I’ve been hit on in supermarkets and on public transportation. Not enough, unfortunately…
What works? Saying: “Hey, do I know you from somewhere”(then you can talk about where you might know each other from and you get to know a little more about each other without trying too hard)? Or simply “Hi, do you want to get some coffee/see this band/go to a movie/go to the park sometime?” Or
hey, I’m having a party in 2 weeks/going to this friend’s barbecue tonight, wanna come?" Nothing too Romantic with a capital R.
Finally, women can be kind of wary about giving out their home numbers to strangers. I’ve had nice conversations with someone in a supermarket, given out my number, and lived to regret it when the actual “time to call” rolls around. To diffuse that whole ickiness, give her your number. Just say “I’d love to meet up with you sometime - why don’t I give you my number. Give me a call if you’re free.”
If she liked you, she’ll call. If not, she won’t. At least you tried, and you didn’t act like a creep, and the next time you run into her you can (GENTLY!) try again - start with the sheepish smile. It always gets me.
Al Zheimers said:
This is exactly my concern. I’ve got to figure that the really hot and sexy waitress already has an SO, and that she’s probably hit on at least five times that day already. In fact, I’ve felt like using that as an icebreaker - “So how many times have you been hit on today?”
I did manage to get a smile out of one waitress. She was gorgeous, looking a whole lot like Brooke Shields. As I was paying my check, I said as much. She replied back that she gets that all the time, and also Katerina Witt and “the girl on Friends” [Jennifer Aniston?]. When she returned with my change, I wrapped up with the line, “At least they’re all beautiful women.” She smiled and said thank you. And walked off.
This never happens to me! The only person who even tries to set me up is my sister, and lately all she seems to know is married women. Well, there was the lesbian couple that said I was cute, but they didn’t invite me to join them.
magdalene said:
Sheepish smile, no lines. Got it.
The best ice breaker I have discovered?
Just a few simple steps:
1: Get yourself an orange, cut it in wedges
2: Take the skin from one wedge and place in in your mouth
3: go up to the attractive girl/woman/dead goat in the supermarket/coffey shop/ book store
4: Get her attention so that she looks at you
5: flash her that hideous orange smile
if all goes right, you should at least get a laugh out of her, I have used this upon ocasion with great sucess, another thing that works well is repeat steps 3-5 with those freaky billybob teeth
I went out to the local club tonight, after a grueling day of job hunting, I needed to unwind. There were very few people there, but I did get up the nerve to go sit and talk with two attractive women who were together. I surprised myself. I just told myself, “Hmm I could hit on them” and went and did it. I didn’t think about what to say, I just started talking. It worked, and we talked about 90 minutes, but no score. Hey at least I tried, and they seemed fairly receptive. There may be hope for me yet. I don’t know whether to feel proud of myself, or discouraged, or completely neutral about the whole thing, though. I guess I should give myself credit for trying.
I can’t wait until Friday night. Hopefully I will get together with a buddy of mine and we will go on a babe hunting spree. He’s a lot better at talking to women than I am, so having him along always helps take off some of the pressure.
Regardless, even if I am going out alone, I’m going to make an effort to talk some women. I’m sick of being a chicken. Last night I proved to myself that I could do it, and it really isn’t all that hard. It becomes difficult when one tells one self it is difficult, as I have learned the hard way. So, just as the ol’ Nike slogan says: JUST DO IT… if I see a hot woman I would like to get to know, I’m gonna say “HI, how are you?” instead of standing around like a butthead thinking “duhhhh what do I say”
I am fed up being my own worst enemy. Odds are most likely that the majority of the time, the ladies are not the ones rejecting me, but rather me rejecting myself! When I mull around and think: “Should I talk to her? What will she think? Will she think I am a nut? She won’t want to talk to me” and so on, that gets projected and shows, and that is probably the turn off, not necessarily myself. I assume that many women who get stared at because they are attractive, are thinking one of two things: “I wish that perv would quit ogling me” or “Well…Are ya gonna talk to me or not?” Most likely I would say it is a nearly even split, perhaps the latter being a bit more likely.
Here is another issue I have difficulty with. When most women flirt with a man, it is often done so in a subtle manner. I’m not good at picking up when I am being flirted with. Sadly, it often either is registered in my mind as normal conversation, or, I don’t realize she was flirting until it’s too late and after the fact. That’s probably the biggest problem I have talking to women. I feel like a real :wally when I notice, only too late, that I was being flirted with. By then, she has gone.
Ladies, I ask you: How can I & us men condition ourselves to become more “aware” of when ladies are flirting with us subtly? Are there signs to look for? How do you tell casual conversation apart from flirting? Helllllp!
Congratulations, sounds like you are making progress!
Women & men can both smell the “stink of desperation” and the somewhat more subtle “funk of self-conscious bumbling.” That probably didn’t make you feel better, did it. But it’s true!
There are ways to control these toxic odors. Stop focusing on “what she must be thinking of me” and stop analyzing every word of the conversation in your head while it’s going on, because it means that you are not really paying attention to her. If you relax and focus on her, you’ll have a better chance of reading her signals accurately. Ignore the tent you are making in your pants and the feeling that “everyone is going to see me strike out with this girl” or “she is sure to reject me any second”, and enjoy the conversation for its own sake. If everything is happening naturally, then things will, um, er, happen naturally.
Self-deprecating humor (along with the sheepish smile) is an asset in emergencies, but don’t take it too far. Slamming your head after everything line of dialogue and saying “idiot, idiot!” is three miles beyond too far.
May the force be with you, and may you get some Friday night.
Get married. It takes all the pressure of!
Of course, when you’re single it’s kinda like the old Catch-22:
“Son, we can’t give you credit because you don’t have any credit”. Sheesh!
Look for a wedding ring first…
There is a absolutely beautiful lady at work & talked to her for the first time today. One question I asked her is how long she’s been working there [thats where I work too for many years] and she said two years. I didn’t notice her for a long time I guess
How can one distinguish a wedding/engagement rinf from cosmetic jewelry??
Stars,
When you pass him in, say, frozen foods and he takes something from the case, say something along the lines of "I've been meaning to try that. What is it like ?" It's better if the product is exotic, or brand new, because he must like it (he's buying it), but it starts the conversation. Kinda weak on a Swanson's TV dinnerStars,
When you pass him in, say, frozen foods and he takes something from the case, say something along the lines of "I've been meaning to try that. What is it like ?" It's better if the product is exotic, or brand new, because he must like it (he's buying it), but it starts the conversation. Kinda weak on a Swanson's TV dinner. Hey the guy may be shy, and would LOVE to have a nice lady make the first move.
I’m also like MSK - I’m not good at distinguishing rings.
Engagement rings aren’t always diamond. I assume diamond is stay away.