Beck fights the bad, bad, bad vine (How kudzu entertained me)

Kudzu eating an old pickup truck. Down in southern Georgia where my Mother’s family are they call areas where it has taken over “the heaps.” In the Winter the leaves die back and you can still see all the poor trees and bushes struggling to survive under the weight and light deprivation they suffer all Summer. It’s sad to see.

Horses love it though, and so do goats. The newer leaves are not bad stewed up like spinach.

I’ve often thought that the Sahara desert could be turned green just by scattering kudzu seeds down the center length of it.

I can never hear about Kudzu without recalling the Whole Earth Catalog instructions for care of Kudzu.

I can’t find an online text but as I recall, it involved “mulching heavily with concrete blocks and lubricating the undersides of new shoots with 30 weight motor oil to prevent friction burns from rapid growth”.

I’ve had kudzu prepared as greens, in a kudzu, turnip and collard mix with smoked turkey neck. Wasn’t bad, from what I could tell. But the shit grows so fast you’ll soon be eating kudzu, kudzu, kudzu, turnip and kudzu.

Yep. All those pix are exactly what it looks like.
We have itinerant farm workers come through Arkansas every year. After tomatoes and watermelons are harvested they hang around trying to make a little more cash.

They go 'vine pulling", they come and offer thier services. Big Wrek has hired them a few times. They can actually make a little headway into it.
I don’t think we’ll see many this year. Because of the pandemic, they won’t get across the border. I don’t know who’s gonna pick all those tomatoes.

I just read a blurb on Kudzu. You get rid of it by digging down to the crowns, and severing the roots from it.

You probably have, what, 5,279,438 crowns, hmmm?

Yep. We are just trying to keep it beat back enough to be able to walk around. BigWrek likes to keep it back from his hay-field.

I tell the kids not to stand still too long for fear will lose one of them to kudzu vines.

I was telling the family about the eating of kudzu. Everyone immediately started a Google search.
The lil’wrekker and Hamza are slightly interested.
The Mom’s care not one little bit.

But Son-of-a-wrek. Yeah, him.
He’s decided he will investigate the ‘liquor’ side of this fully. He smells a money making scheme.
Or maybe it’s a new conspiracy theory brewing.
I worry about that boy. :dubious:

We gotta think up a name for Kudzu booze. Kudzooze? Kudziskey? Kudzhine?

This needs brainwork!


Tell BigW that when he’s eradicated the kudzu, he can come here and start on my bindweeds. They’ve taken over my yard.


Kudzu is the one and only case where I will contemplate the use of Round-Up. Paint some on the leaves you can reach and it will absorb down to kill the roots. But don’t be fooled into trusting a sprayer with that stuff. You don’t want any in the environment that isn’t working exactly and precisely the plant you put it on. And for heaven’s sake don’t spill it, because you don’t want that in your groundwater either.

In fact, clear out what you kill with it because the stuff will leach into the ground as it rots.

I don’t trust it at all, but it’s the only answer I know of for kudzu.


Will they have that down at the farm co-op?

The video I posted earlier suggests goats.

I want goats. May be those fainting ones.

No, but you can get weed burners. This and a whole lot of propane will do you. Probably keep both Mr. Wrekker and Son-of-a-wrek entertained for hours, as long as they don’t start any wildfires.

Y’all are pretty wet down there, right?

Oh, god. Harbor Freight.
They create so much havoc in my life, I cannot tell you.

BigWrek probably has that thing.

(I think my PTSD just pinged 100%)

I’ve always wanted a flame thrower…

I caught Mr VOW looking at a Harbor Freight ad. He has to be supervised when he shops there!

Oh, Beck! Speaking of Harbor Freight! There is a glorious, inexpensive gizmo there that would make a fantastic gift for all the males on your Christmas list!

Cost is about five bucks. It’s yellow, and looks like a tennis racket. A hand-held bug zapper! Fill the handle with D-cell batteries, and turn the men loose! This gizmo activates the “Y” chromosome, and guys wanna kill every bug in existence! Dragonflies create lovely sparks, and moths stink as they sizzle on the grid!

You’re welcome!

I love the idea of the Wrekker men playing bugminton, but I have to say, I had one of those gizmos, and the bugs merely looked startled and said, “Who, me?” as they flew by.