When you're all juiced up on coffee and deer season opening you shouldn't be allowed to drive

No matter how much camo clothing you wear.

Mr.Wrek and his deer camp cohorts determined to have a meeting at the local cafe. At breakfast. Possibly the only folks there.

Til the game warden decided to check out the local grease pit and see what the commotion was.
As I wasn’t invited (not that I would attend, ain’t eatin’ at that salmonella breeding ground) I get this second hand.

The meeting was going swimmingly. Plans were made. Orders were handed down.
Mr.Wrek maintained his seat as president. Well, he owns the camp so he’s got dibs. I guess.

He drank one more cuppa. And got ready to leave. Paying his tab. Tipping Lulu the ancient waitress. Probably not enough. She needs a new walker, I hear.

Gets in his oversized, over gassed, overpriced redneck pickup truck and backs right into the Game wardens truck. Leaves a gigantic dent right through the emblem that reads (I’m sure) Beware! this is a law enforcement officer, or something like that.

Well, Son-of-a-wrek hears this and flips his lid. He tells his Pop “Pop, that’s worse than hitting a school bus with a learners permit!”
(For a minute, I have to think back. Did Son do this? Have I lost a memory? Nah, nah. Couldn’t be.:face_with_raised_eyebrow:)

Other than that, Son is on cloud nine. He can rag his Pop for weeks about this. New material. I fear he’s gonna overdo it. Deer season may be dangerous for him.

Back to the scene of the accident.
Game warden was not amused. Insurance cards brought out and the County police showed up to make the report.
Mr.Wrek was ticketed for failure of some such. Maybe, to yield. I didn’t pay that much attention.
He’s trying to say the Warden was not parked properly. He’s full of shit.

The parking lot is not much more than a dip in the highway. No markings. It’s gravel. And the Warden holds all the cards.

He’ll pay the ticket. Put up with deer camp jokes and Son-of-a-wreks laughing.

Until…next time.

He says he bought the Game wardens coffee, too.

Why isn’t the title something like “Bad, bad, bad start to the deer season”?

You hold proprietary rights to this format. Use it, or lose it (according to the copyright office, AIUI). And it’s how I identify your threads!

Other than that, what can I say. Arkansas rednecks are an unfamiliar species to me.

A mod can change it if they want to.
Sorry @wolfpup

Hey, btw. The Lil’wrekker is coming to Canada soon. Hide your air. She sucks up all the oxygen wherever she goes.

We have lots of air! I’m sure the Lil’wrekker will have a fine time and we’ll enjoy having her here. :slight_smile: What part of the country is she visiting?

I haven’t all the details yet. I’ll let you know. When and where.

You gots the most amazin’ life Honey.

I attract the crap, that’s for sure.
It’s my superpower.


Please tell me this is bow season, not gun season.

(It’s bow season here, but you’re a good bit further south.)

It is bow season. Soon to be muzzleloader season. Modern gun season starts in early November.

The camp is opened all the way through.

The rednecks wear camo year in and year out.

Tell them their necks aren’t red enough to count in gun season!

I want my orange, or at least a good strong red, once the deer guns come out. (November 18 here; but bow started October 1st.) And I’m not even hunting.

The crew that hunts here does wear camo in bow season; but proper orange for the guns. Nearly everybody does, around here. Really does save lives. (Human ones, at least.)

Yes, they wear orange over their camo jackets, during gun seasons.
The law here is “so many? square inches of orange has to be worn”

And let me tell you, they measure. The hunter and Warden if the hunter is stopped and questioned.

I wear an orange vest when I walk this time of year. I get close to the road on one part of my walk and yahoos shoot off the road all the time.

I’m a dear, but don’t wanna be mistaken as a deer.

Damn, I wish it was legal to drive into improperly parked cars in my state.

Just today I started to use three “bads” in a row, and I instinctively went back and deleted one. Just didn’t feel right doing it.

You could have been sued! Except our Beckers is too nice to do that! :wink:

Feel free to use them bads.

There’s gotta be a country song we can write out of the title of this thread.

I’m counting on you @Spoons

How’s a David Allen Coe song strike you as a tune?

It may take a while, Beck. It may not happen at all. But I’ll try my best.

Comes to mind:

She could do a lot of good if there are still forest fires burning!

This reminds me of a dad who always took his sons out of class for a week at the start of hunting season. He’d call me up to tell me his kid would be out and ask me to get makeup work from the teachers; I’d tell him the absences would be inexcused, so it was up to his kid to ask the teachers nicely and see if they’d let him make up the work, he’d thank me, and we’d hang up. We did this for five years total, since he had two kids.