Last Friday was a momentous day. Mr.Wrekker came home from the lake as we were leaving to go for my latest adventure in Diabetic nonsense. He said, I quote “I killed 2 snakes on the driveway just now” and “Bye”
What?
We leave as it’s later than we thought.
When we got home that afternoon he was sitting on the deck cleaning a handgun. I asked him what had he been doing. I got this very illuminating answer: “Snakes”
What!?
I went in and did my thing. Heard a pistol shot. Looked out. Mr. Wrekker has a huge black snake held up, way over his head and it’s dragging the ground. Holy crap. I’m never leaving the house again. I retreat to my chair and he comes in through the garage. He says one word, and I quote, “Snakes”
What?!?!
He’s a man of few words. I get his meaning. I’m growing alarmed.
I looked out in the garage. Dead snake on the concrete, right by the Orange Menace. It’s small, I sez, to convince myself it’s all ok. Till I think, small snakes can come in small openings. Aaaaccckk!
Fitful sleep. Snakes are crawling everywhere in my dreams.
Saturday I wake up to the pleasant sound of gun shots. Cats are in the beams. Danger, Danger Will Robinson!! I convince them it’s outside and they can come eat. I feed them. Open the French door for doggies to go out. I hear one word “Snakes!” Loud! Cats fly, doggies run back to me. Yorkie pees.
What!?
I look out, Mr.Wrekker has a five gallon bucket he putting a dead snake in. He puts a booted foot in and stomps. The bucket is obviously full. This goes on til early evening. I counted 15 shots. He’s also using a hoe. Doggies need to walk. I holler out is it safe to walk the dogs. Thumbs up. (man of few words) I walk them a short way down the drive. They do their business, quick. I see a snake on the drive. Pick up Yorkie and drag Beagle by the leash. She wants to go see the serpent. I alert the snake hunter of the driveway snake.
We are safely back in the house. Mr.Wrekker comes in heads upstairs for a shower. He comes down. I fix his Jack Daniels. I ask him what’s going on.
Yep, you guessed it, one word, I quote “Snakes”
What?
It’s all over. They came, caused a ruckus and discomfort, and left. All in All the report is more than 50 snakes were killed. The scariest bunch in the barn. They were venomous. One in the office in the barn.
“SNAKES”
Good lord. Stephen King meets James Dickey. I had no idea snakes could swarm like that. Googled it. If I understand it, the males come a-swarmin’ when there’s an available female. I wonder if Mr. Wrekker shot the female. If so, party’s over, right?
Sounds like he’s a calm guy in a crisis, yet I can’t help wondering how your laconic Lothario ever conveyed he wanted you to marry him. Did he wax poetic, or just grunt, “Weddin’?” or what?
Edited to add: Hey, I’m in your state right now, en route to somewhere else! I don’t know where you live relative to where I am, so I’ll just wave all around before we head out tomorrow.
Nellie, you made me laugh out loud, which we know the cats do not allow. 
I’m in Extreme Southwest Arkansas. I’ll wave back!
Why in the world would anyone kill a Black snake?
In Mr.Wrekkers world all snakes are bad. And I wasn’t remarking on the breed of snake but the color of the offending beast. Coulda been anything for all I know.
(And I have quail chicks right now)
Black snakes eat rats, which are probably a bigger threat to your quails than the snakes are.
My Yorkie is not much bigger than a rat. But, again i don’t know what kinda snake it was. I wasn’t gonna get that close. I saw it from inside the house through glass.
Mice were a principle reason he went looking for the snakes in the barn proper after he found one in his office out there.
Any varmint is bad in those numbers.
Hope you’re remote enough that neighbors aren’t going to be freaking out about the gunfire.
Mr. Wrekkers sounds like a sensible man, IMHO.
No neighbors. We are in the middle of 90 acres. Way back in the boonies.
OK, good. You don’t need to have those nice ladies and gents with badges coming around all worried because of reports they’re hearing.
I do have to side with Mr. Wrekker’s opinion of the limbless things. (I’m quite ophidiophobic.)
We do have rattlesnakes locally, but they tend to stay away from settled areas. All I have to worry about are deer in the driveway.
Glad to hear that Mr. Wrekker is on the job, Beck!
We handle our snake situation differently. Most of our snakes are central ratsnakes (Pantherophis spiloides) or eastern garter snakes (Thamnophis sirtalis). They are non-venomous. I catch them and with my gf’s help we get them into a feed sack. We then relocate the snake far from our farm.
Because we relocate these snakes, we have to address the rats in our barn with poison bait stations. We also have way too many rabbits and there are toads everywhere. Ideally we would let the snakes be, but my gf is overly toad friendly.
ETA: this summer our ratsnakes seem bigger than usual. I’ve got two 8 footers so far.
The proper response would have been, “Badgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadger…”
Walkies with pups this morning and I nearly stepped on a large snake down by the pond. Did not know I could jump so high or run so fast. Gah!!
At least you didn’t wake up to find a snake in your bed! :eek:
Out west we have a strange beetle infestation. Just started a couple days ago. I took the dogs out to there normal ‘dig and hunt’ spot and the ground looked like a rippling carpet of BILLIONS of little crawlers, all heading generally south. I’ve been here nearly 25 years, and I’ve never seen anything like this. Is this the Beginning of the End?
Last night, they started showing up in my back yard and patio. I’m in fear for my garden. But it’s not as bad as snakes. It was nice knowing you, Beck!
They go ‘Pop’ when you step on them.
Ewwwww!
My neighbor killed a 5’ timber rattler between his barn and my back pasture on Saturday. Normally I’m fine with snakes, and welcome black snakes and corn snakes as they keep down rodents. But venomous snakes probably 30’ from his house with his kids, dogs and lambs, well, they have to go.
StG