Going to the kidney doctor for recheck.
The lil’wrekker is driving.
She looks over and sez…“Oh, Mother, you have you shirt on backwards!”
Well, you see dressing is not a thing I’m good at. The lil’wrekker fancies herself my fashion advisor/critic.
It’s hard enough on the poor girl I have Crocs with socks on. She really hates that.
She further states I have to fix my shirt. We’re on the interstate. A busy interstate.
I try to schooch down in her car. The car is a tiny Mini Cooper. And I have these legs.
Not happening.
She says “Just do it”
Off my top comes. For all the world to see. I flip it around and put it back on. Not before we got a horn beep from some yokel.
She looks over at me. And, I quote “Dang-it Mother, that shirt is stained”
Hey, I knew there was a reason I put it on inside out😁
She said look in my back seat there’s a tee-shirt back there you can wear.
I find it.
We’re barrelling down the interstate listening to the fine musical stylings of Miss Taylor Swift. If I died right now I don’t Taylor would be someone I missed. Ugh!
Now, just guess what kinda of tee-shirt was in the back seat of the MiniCooper waiting on a time when ol’ beck would need a quick change and to don, said tee-shirt?
Just you guess.
You’re right…
A nice Taylor Swift concert tee. In loverly pink.
Once again, off comes my top and quickly into the TS tee. God.
So we get to the clinic. I step out in the glorious bright sunlight. The lil’wrekker comes around the car and sez “Oh, god Ma!!!”
“What?” sez I.
You know concert tees cost alot. This little number probably depleted my bank account by $48.
They are made of the thinnest fabric ever.
Of course, this a.m. I pull a bra out of my drawer and put it on. Not thinking of anything but comfort.
In the bright sunlight I’m sportin’ a too small, showing midriff, ugly pink, thin Taylor Swift concert tee.
With…hold your breath…here it comes:
A hoochie-mama black bra.
I look like an x-ray.
The lil’wrekker refused to walk with me into the clinic.
You may have forgotten, but Sooper Trooper has a crush on Beck so bad that he’s been stalking her for years. If our Beck got a single beep on the interstate from a random yokel and then from the driver of an 18-wheeler for her topless exhibitionism, Sooper Trooper would probably even now still be beeping away like a lust-crazed madman, unable to stop himself.
@Beckdawrek, I gotta say it again: your life, it is indeed Something Else.
She must have been comparing notes with my Lil’ Boo daughter. Her nose actually wrinkled up if I wore them. Since Lil’ Boo controls my access to the beloved grand girl, I gave up and donated all my Crocs.
And me third. “How sweet it is” must have been written about a laugh from @Beck
We head home after Taco bell drive thru. I kinda got Taco juice on the nice clean TS tee-shirt. So I’m once again in a stained shirt.
The lil’wrekker just shakes her head.
I’m not making her life easier. At. All.
I get the lecture most of the way home, on how decent CLEAN clothes tell people about you. First impressions are so so important.
I let her drone on and on. It’s better than Taylor Swift singing “haters gonna hate” or what ever “Romeo” did to her.
When she’s done I ask her why does this matter so much. Just went to the clinic and fast food. Not Buckingham Palace.
She just sighs an exasperated sigh and cranks the tunes up.
When we get home DIL and mid-Daughter laugh out loud at my countenance. I can’t win. This crowd is tough.
