Puto and pato are different words. Pato is duck, but it is also slang for “faggot”, a derogatory word for gays.
You don’t say? I thought it meant “a bundle of sticks”. Although I guess you could have a faggot faggot if they came from a gay tree.
I love you!
That last may not be a safe assumption, based on the friends they have picking them up. 
It’s also a kind of meatball. Would you like to sample mine?
That irreverence, that wit … I’d recognize it anywhere! Some charlatan has stolen a Ziggy and passed it off as his own! I can prove it. Quick, billfish678, to my archives!
Did anyone give any thought to just going out to the guy and SHOWING him how to get his car out of second gear?
Well, faggot has other meanings, just wanted to make sure you understood which. 