I’m surprised Kolsch style beers aren’t more popular here in the States. You’d think they’d be a perfect ‘gateway’ beer for the Mllerbudcoors drinkers of the world having little or no experience with craft beers.
Perfect assessment of Cologne food and women! 
There even is a song about it: Blootwosch, Kölsch und e lecker Mädsche - the song basically say that a true Colognian only needs three thing: blood sausage, Kölsch and a nice girl.
If you ever do come to Cologne, let me know - I’ll be happy to take you to several smaller breweries (like Mühlenkölsch or Schreckenskammer Kölsch) as well as to the well known ones (like Reissdorf, Gaffel and früh).
A word of warning though (especially for thelurkinghorror): NEVER order a Kölsch in Düsseldorf or an Altbier in Cologne. At best people will give you a pitying look, but you might as well be asked to leave the pub… . :eek:
A genuine Köbes worth his money replaces your empty glass in an instant.
It’s true. I had a couple German friends visit me and we went to Goose Island Brewery for a few pints. He was about to order one of their beers until the bartender mentioned during his description of the beer that it was a kolsch. “Oh, no, no, no. I can’t order kolsch. I’m from Dusseldorf. We don’t drink kolsch.” The bartender actually gave him a bit of shit and told him to lighten up and live a little, and did, in the end, manage to convince him to order the kolsch. But there was a good bit of back-and-forth before it got there.
There is a (mostly joking) rivalry between Köln and Düsseldorf.
Years ago I worked for a company near Cologne and we had a colleague from Dublin who came over quite often and always stayed in Cologne.
For some reasone one time he had to fly back from Düsseldorf and ordered a Kölsch at the airport. In his own words: “that was the first time a waitress threatened me with death” 
Most of my friends are light beer drinkers. Once in a while they end up in places without light beer (usually because of me). I’ve been instructing them to look for a Kolsch in that circumstance. It usually works out for them.
I like Kolsch. I like Pilsners too. In general I prefer German beer to American micro-brews, whose strategy seems to be “This beer doesn’t taste enough like ass! Add more hops!” I tried to drink a Bell’s two hearted once. I managed to choke it down but, to quote Chris Griffin, it tasted like a monkey. A monkey that’s past its prime. I’d rather drink a bud.
Mmm, I loves Kolsches and Altbiers. Generally malty, with an almost perfume-y taste to the alcohol because of the yeasts used, but not as strong of a tastes as the Belgian-style beers can get. I’m finishing off a six pack of Lakewood’s All Call right now.
An invented style based on a Kolsch is the “Black Kolsch”: Kolsch yeast, with dark roasted malts. As far as I know, St. Arnold’s in Houston invented it when they released Santo. It’s mild for a dark beer, with a pretty dry finish. Think Negra Modelo, but an ale instead of a lager. I find it quite tasty.
Phillips brewery in Victoria makes a very tasty Kolsh as part of thier carnival pack. It and the Blue Buck are usually the first casualties.
I think it makes sense. If you’re already a fan of lighter beers like Bud, you don’t need a gateway to anywhere else. And if you don’t like those, you’re probably going to rebel by going with something farther along the spectrum.
I appreciate a good Kölsch, but it’s not my favorite style. Gimme those hops any day.
I love the name of their Kölsch, “Analogue 78”. Traditional Kölsch from Cologne have names like Gaffels, Früh or Küppers, but that name lets me think of old shellac blues records :). And carnival pack is fitting: most people outside of Germany will think that Rio De Janeiro is the capital of carnival, but trust me, they are even wilder and crazier in Cologne, though the participants are usually thicker clothed than in Brazil (at least on the streets), but only because carnival is during the German wintertime. And well, those Samba dancers don’t have Kölsch ;).
I just had a Karnival Kolsch style brewed by Stoudts of Adamstown, PA - not bad at all. I’ll second Reissdorf and Gaffel. The hot weather Kolsch style seems to be made for is almost here!