I recently read a book about Reform Judaism, and one thing struck out at me. It claimed that in traditional Jewish services in Eastern Europe, it was both acceptable and expected to talk or let children play throughout the service. In contrast, Reform synagogues in the 19th century (and later on all Jewish synagogues) would adopt more sedate behavior in order to match American mores. First off, is this the real story? Did synagogues really have these mores, and do any still have these type of services?
The answer to your question is based not so much on specific religious issues, but more on the general social climate of the place.
Synagogues, churches, schools, offices , restaurants, football stadiums and kinky sex clubs all have one thing in common: they are social places where people gather together in a group, to do something with other people.
And each location has its own etiquette about how to treat children. The etiquette depends on the specific activitiy in the place, and also on the general social climate of society in general.
Think of two similar schools with 300 kids–one a typical American middle school, the other a military academy. Synagogues are similar–they vary a lot, depending who gathers there.
Your question compares two pretty different social milieus: traditional Eastern European synagogues vs. non-traditional Western European synagogues.
The traditional, (Orthodox) East European Jews lived in small, tight-knit communities (Think of the musical Fiddler on the Roof). And they put a HUGE emphasis on family and children. Their synagogues were part of their daily life: the synagogue was also a school, so it was natural for the kids to hang around there. And since kids make noise, everybody expected it.
The Reform movement was created in the large cities of Germany–Not small communities where everybody knows each other. The entire point was to win acceptance from the larger society around them, and to avoid looking like the traditional, Orthodox Jews. . So they adopted the rigid, formal attitudes of German high culture. Everybody had to dress up, speak in whispers, and act dignified. Even the kids.
You can still see these distinctions today. An Orthodox synagogue,and espectially an ultra-Orthodox (“hassidic”) one, will typically have kids scurrying around. A non-Orthodox one will be much more formal, with the kids sitting quietly next to their parents.
What chappachula said. In addition: in those olden days, there wasn’t other entertainment like DVDs or even radio. For religious Jews, going to the synagogue was a way to spend the day (especially on Saturday, when they could do no work, couldn’t play music, couldn’t cook, etc.) You listen to beautiful music, you pray, you meet all your friends and talk, you let the children play (there wasn’t day care.)
For the Reform movement, there was no reason not to spend the rest of the day doing normal activities, so the synagogue (called “temple” by Reform) was more formal.
Aside: There was once a visitor who came to a synagogue, saw all the talking and noshing and children running around, and expressed horror to his Jewish friend at this behavior in a house of worship. The Jew replied, “In my father’s house, I can take liberties. In the house of a stranger, I’m more polite.”
I guess it was necessity that drives the rule … It would be acceptable to let children play throughout the service, because they only had a small Sinagogue, they couldn’t afford land in the expensive European city. It may also have been dangerous to let the kids roam free.
Move to USA and you have heaps of land, so there’s the Singagugoe and there’s the play area…
Islander - thing is that the Reform Movement (and its social mores) did not originate in America but in Germany of the 1800s, and was at its start an attempt to assimilate into upper class German social standards by emulating the behavior patterns of churches of that social group of the time, upper class Protestant churches, organs, robes and all.
Kids were not running around there either.
I see it more as a product of that history.
An Orthodox shul (based on my experience at my grandma’s Polish/Slavic WWII refugee congregation) has kids scurrying around, but they’re behind the wall with the women, who are ignoring the service anyway in favor of gossiping and sharing pictures of the grandkids.
If you have the vision that children running around is acceptable in the area where it really matters – on the men’s side where the real legit praying occurs – that doesn’t fit with my experience.
In Reform synagogues, people did seem to act more formally - but the more common practice is to have a separate children’s service, the idea being that children should participate, on their level, rather than just play obliviously.
My parents’ Conservative synagogue usually has a few active children scurrying around, but I don’t know whether this - and the shul’s generally casual attitude - is due to it being Conservative or it being Israeli.
Chappachula’s answer fits with what I’ve heard.
There are additional reasons though. IIRC One of the founders of the Chasidic movement held that the joy experienced during services and prayer was holy, and that the happier you were the closer you were to G-d. Thus, children running around and being happy in synagogue are actually engaged in a holy activity.
The two synagogues I attend have multiple services throughout the week and on Shabbat, and being Israeli, are much more relaxed about talking, kids running around, and noise in general. Not everyone in the community is thrilled with the relaxed attitudes, and there are sometimes sharp debates on our community email list about the kids and the talking.
And no, the kids are not usually behind the wall with the women. More often than not they simply walk in and out of the room whenever they want.
I went to a Reformed temple in New York and no one cared too much what kids got up to during service. I think the idea was that you didn’t have to act like a full grown-up until closing in on your Bar/Bat Mitzvah and the adults thought they should make the whole temple thing as pleasant as possible for the little kids by not being too strict. Funny thing, coming from a mixed marriage I also went to a relatively liberal mosque where the same attitude prevailed. I was instructed to do all the proper ablutions and actions etc. but people didn’t care too much if the kids maintained any sort of solemnity or if they moved about and generally acted like kids. These were not hippy outfits or anything… mainstream but maybe a bit modern/casual I guess. I think the objective really was to not bum the kids out about religion and to just let them absorb the scene. The “Sunday School” teachers did ask us to be polite and considerate during lessons and services etc. as well as in general but we were were allowed a lot more freedom then I observed at the Protestant or Catholic churches I had occasion to visit. I figure it was maybe a kind of Mediterranean approach. Growing up I did not experience any real difference between Jews, Muslims and Italian Catholics when it came to manners, comportment, humor, etc. When I got to university and spent time around WASPY people that was a bit discombobulating. Now that I think of it… there isn’t the thing about the leader being a special representative of G-d either… I was taught Rabbis and Imams were “teachers” and “leaders of the service” without any special divine distinction from the congregants so maybe that also influenced the more casual tone.