Being temporarily blind in one eye sucks, but is apparently "Hot"

This is about as Mundane and Pointless as you could ever hope for.

Here’s a picture of me last weekend.

Here’s a picture of me this weekend.

Here’s a picture of me this weekend in a hatmore appropriate to the situation.

The Bible says “If thy right eye offend thee pluck it out” but I decided to make like a politician and pay to have it covered up instead. It’s not as bad as it looks: it’s a minor corneal problem caused by- well, honestly not sure what the cause is, I’m guessing something to do with Jews and Freemasons and shrubbery. It’s been hella-painful but it’s relatively minor and the bandages are to come off today or tomorrow, so I’m really not whining too much, but DAMN! Whoever thought the temporary loss of one eye would be such a pain in the ass! The loss of depth perception, the lack of peripheral vision, the convoluted way you have to turn your head to read, etc… I really do not understand what Sammy Davis Jr. half saw in it.

But the main reason posting is this: I’ve had two people tell me, since I’ve had the bandaging and the eye patch (the bandages are to hold the dressing and the eyepatch to block out light) “You look… kinda hot in that”. Weird, but one of them was kind of cute.

So I can understand people experimenting with being one eyed for a weekend like I have, but not those who do it as a full-time lifestyle choice. (And I still think Helen Keller was lying- probably saw and talked as good as everybody else when nobody else was around- all blind, all deaf, all the time? That’s just blatant overkill.)

So I’m trying to decide whether to lose the corneal ulcer but keep the bandaging or eyepatch. Or maybe just the patch. Thoughts?

Maybe a special eyepatch for special occasions?

It’s a good look to have around September the 17th( International Speak [And Look]Like A Pirate Day.), but I’d stick with the symetrical look normally. :slight_smile:

p.s. Is it painful? I had a scratched cornea once, and it was one of the most annoying( and painful.) injuries I’ve had.

Of course it’s hot!

I’ve wanted a good quality print of the painting above for years, but apparently the original is in a private collection and I’ve never been able to find one.

Not as much now, but yesterday… hell yeah. I confessed to being a member of al-Qaeda and personally plotting to overthrow the government and replace the SCotUS with NKOTB, Erin Moran, and the Olsen Twins. Luckily Dr. Hussein al-Grib wasn’t listening.

Cool pic. What’s it called?

You can make your own. Find the largest and best quality picture of it you can online, download it, and have it printed on canvas or on lithograph quality paper. Since it’s centuries old it’s not protected by copyright- not even photographs of it are unless they make “substantive alteration” (which is why for-profit archives will usually have their name across the pic or have only thumbnails on their sites to prevent reproduction).

Don’t know if it is titled per se, but it is an anonymous portrait of Ana de Mendoza y de la Cerda, Princess of Eboli. La Eboli was a rather notorious figure in 16th century Spanish history as part of a famous scandal during the reign of Philip II.

I might be wrong about the private collection part - it’s part of the ‘Collection of the Marquess of Santillana, Madrid.’ Which I guess might mean it is part of a named collection in the Prado. But sadly I’ve never even found a really decent reproduction online - I’d like something frameable. The best copy I have is a small black and white plate in Henry Kamen’s biography of Philip. Oh, well :).

You’re living an episode of Spin City, Sam. This is not good.

Never watched an episode of the show. Was there an eye patch involved?

Yes. One of the supporting character, Paul, had to get an eyepatch because of an injury. Though ordinarily a doofus of Brobdingnagian proportions, he discovered that with the patch he was unbelievably attractive to hot chicks.

the fun part is once the whole owie is done, is to switch eyes occasionally.

right eye for a bit, left eye for a bit. see if people catch on.

[quote=“ivan_astikov, post:3, topic:469660”]

It’s a good look to have around September the 17th( International Speak [And Look]Like A Pirate Day.), but I’d stick with the symetrical look normally. :slight_smile:

International Talk like a Pirate Day is September 19th.

Try adding a parrot. If that goes over well, either a hoook hand or peg leg.
Or maybe just say “Arrrrgggg, matey!” a lot.

Are you sure you’re not your evil twin?

I’d think he’d bump into things with two of those on.


When I was in college I scratched my cornea with my gas permeable contact lens and had to wear a patch for two weeks.

Oh my dear and fluffy lord. My dorm mate was ready to kill me because the piece of scotch tape over the keyhole that signified, “Do not enter, I’m getting laid,” was in place A LOT.

I always thought that if I was to lose an eye, having an eyepatch would be pretty cool. Much better looking than, say, a prosthetic eye which often is noticible.

I could even go the extra distance and use makeup to give the appearance of a faded vertical scar running above and below the missing eye :cool:

You sure it was because of the piratey goodness of the eyepatch and not more of an “oh, you poor baby…”?

Hmm, eyepatch=gettin’ laid.

I guess we know who is getting a Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas.

Yes, you’re hot. :wink:

Not to be too callous, but does it really matter? :slight_smile: