Best, and worst, Simpsons episodes (ever)?

Cafe Society
61

I just watched the episode where Burns sends Homer back to college the other day, as I’ve been going through my new DVDs. There’s a hilarious throwaway bit in there I’d totally forgotten about. After Burns tells Homer he has to go back to college:

Burns: “Also, you must find the jade monkey before the next full moon!”
Smithers: “Uh, actually, sir, we found the jade monkey. It was in the glove compartment.”
Burns: “And the driving maps and gloves?”
Smithers: “Also in the glove compartment.”
Burns: “Excellent. It’s all coming together!”

They walk away.

I’m paraphrasing there, so if you must nitpick an occasional incorrect word, please know I don’t care. :smiley:

Anyway, for “best episode,” I have to go with Last Exit to Springfield, which I also watched recently (DVD again). I remember turning it off thinking, “Wow, that was the best Simpsons episode they ever did.” Of course, now I can’t remember specifically why I thought that - thanks to TV, my attention span is so short, I can’t remember what happened seven minutes ago! I do believe that was the episode with the famous “I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time” speech, which went on for so long that it stopped being funny, then became really funny again. Even Burns was bored with it.

The one with Lisa getting braces is also right up there, thanks in part to the insane dentist. Hilarious.

62

“They’ve got the plant/But we’ve got the power.” That song is so good that if workers at an actual nuclear plant strike, they should use it.

I think Saddlesore Galactica was fine until they got to the bit with the elf jockeys.

I don’t know which is the worst, but I do remember the one where Homer eats the chili pepper and then goes on a vision quest with a talking coyote as the first episode I found completely unfunny. (Not the last.)

–Cliffy

63

Those are the same episode! [Marge] Lisa needs braces [/Marge], but the boys at the SNPP gave up their [Lenny] dental plan [/Lenny], so they go on strike. Burnsie calls in Grandpa, Jasper et al. as strikebusters, at which point Grandpa goes on about the onion. The dentist totally makes that episode, though.

64

You picked one “El Misterioso Viaje de Nuestro Homer” that many of us picked as the best.

I think the strength of that episode wasn’t as much the jokes as it was the animation of the dream sequence.

And it had Johnny Cash!
“I’m just your memory Homer, I can provide no further information.”

65

:smack: I refer you to my above comment about my attention sp…HEY! A BLUE CAR!!

66

I’m surprised no one’s yet mentioned my favorite Simpsons: the one when Bart, Milhouse & Martin pool their money to buy a copy of “Radioactive Man” #1. IIRC, it has the first appearance of the Comic Book Guy. And Homer’s great line:

Homer (paraphrasing): “You kids with your newfangled superheroes. Give me the good old ones, like Wonder Woman and that lasso of truth. Ooooh, she can tie me up anytime. Rowr, rowr. Aw Marge, I’m just kidding.”

And then there’s the Homerpalooza episode, which would be my second choice.

Billy Corgan: “We envy you Homer. You’ve found a simple happiness, while all we have is our youth, all our money, and our legions of devoted fans. Hey, all right!”

For worst, I haven’t seen too many new episodes, but the one with Lisa living in a redwood in order to impress an environmentalist crush. Especially the rather inane ending, with the “Lisa Log” going nonstop across the country. A WTF moment if ever there was any.

67

My personal fave is when the germans take over the nuclear plant…

“Ohhh…the germans…the germans are coming…”
“Stop it. Stop it Mr. Burns…”

Smithers, where is Homer?
“He’s in sector sieben gruben…err…seven G sir…” <as he’s listening to sycophantic german language tapes>

“I might remind you of the lovable Sgt. Schultz on Hogans heroes…”
“hey! he does!”
“So who has an alcohol problem?”
“Umm…I do”
“Me as well…”
“I’m drunk right now…”

All time fave…

D.

68

That and “I hope I didn’t brain my damage”.

69

Man, all the good episodes have been taken. My personal favs are the “Behind the Laughter” episode, the ep where the family went to Itchy & Scratchy Land, and the “Treehouse of Horror” containing the mini-ep “The Shinning”. For a long time, my all time favorite was the first season episode where Bart takes on the bullies with the help of Abe and Herman, but that changed with the Love Day episode - the one wherein Homer ran for garbage commissioner. I get a crack out of that ep every time.

On the bad side, I never really liked the PBS donation ep where Homer ends up becoming a missionary, although after repeated viewings I did warm to the chase scene featuring Big Bird. The one where Bart gets a horse and becomes a jockey really is the “Worst. Episode. Ever.” Ugh. And these past 2 seasons have really been terrible. What’s up with the musical sequence now included in every ep? Either the writers are trying to get surreal or they’re planning to make mega-money on selling (another) sound track for the show, post-cancellation.

70

I agree about the terrific animation (some of the best in the entire series) and Cash’s presence, but there are lots of great moments, too:

Lovejoy: Now, Helen, let us not glory in Homer’s binge-drinking. There but for the grace of God goes Marge herself.

Homer: Five-alarm chili, eh?
Ned: Uh-huh.
Homer: [eats some] One, two… hey, what’s the big idea?
Ned: Oh, I admit it. It’s only two-alarm, two-and-a-half, tops. I just wanted to be a big man in front of the kids.
Todd: Daddy? Are you going to jail?
Ned: We’ll see, son. We’ll see.

Coyote: I speak of a deeper wisdom. The problem, Homer, is that the mind is always chattering away with a thousand thoughts at once.
Homer: Yeah, that’s me all right. [Homer has a glazed look in his eyes as the wind blows his two hair strands.]

Homer: We don’t have anything in common. [opens the record cabinet, with “Marge” and “Homer” sections] Look at these records: Jim Nabors, Glen Campbell, the Doodletown Pipers. Now look at her records! They stink!

Homer: Hello? Is this… [reads his paper] GBM? Uh, yeah. I read in the personals that you were seeking a soulmate. Well, I also like rainy days and movies. Uh-huh… [apprehensively] Uh, no, I don’t like that… Or that… No, it’s not that I’m afraid. [very quickly] I’m going to hang up now, bye-bye.

McAllister: Arr, matey. Nary a warning light to be seen. 'Tis clear sailing ahead for our precious cargo.
Sailor: Uh, would that be the hot pants, sir?
McAllister: Aye, the hot pants.

Plus Marge’s distraction ruses, Bart’s hat, Guatamalan insane asylums, the vengeful tortoise, furniture salesmen, Earl, and Short Shorts!

71

Still airs as is on Global.

72

Worst: The last Treehouse Of Horror. Bart and Lisa try and catch a Jack-The-Ripper type in Victorian London. Simply awful, including re-hashing the same terrible joke about the chair that came to life. Ned can see people’s death - yawn. Fantastic Voyage - they go into Mr. Burns’ body. Mildly funny, until you compare it to the Futurama episode where they go into Fry’s body to eradicate the worms. No comparison.

You knew this was coming…but that’s one of my favorites.

“Bart, we must respect the ways of the Indian. HI-how-are-ya…HI-how-are-ya”

“That’s Crazytalk!”
“It’s true! I got it from a guy on your reservation!”
“I know, that’s Crazytalk - my brother. We’re all a little worried about him.”

“Oh, what a bleak and horrible future we live in!”
“You mean present.”
“Right, right - present. Can I get some more Soylent Green?”
“Isn’t Soylent Green people?”
“Oh, here we go…”
(And the Soylent Green box: “Now with more girls”)

“Oh, OK, but I’m only helping you because you haven’t outed Rod and Todd.”
::cue them cleaning antique furniture in tight shorts in the yard::

“YOU PAY NOW!”
“What happened to you, China? You used to be cool.”
“HEY! China still cool! You pay later!”

73

Loved the episode when Bart sold his soul.

“Hey Marge, remember when we used to make out to this hymn?”

“Hey If you like good food, good fun, and lotsa crazy crap on the walls, come on over to Uncle Moe’s Family Feedbag!”

Also the episode when Lisa got lost trying to get to the art museum.

“Wohoo! This is great! Can you feel your arms tingling?”

74

Supernintendo Chalmers: What’s that under your hand?
Skinner: Just another story.
SC: Imbedded within a banner headline?

In syndication they cut my favorite part of that episode.
Sideshow Mel: You’ve arrested the wrong man.
Wiggam: What? Okay, Dr. Doom you’re free to go. Just stay away from Misery Mountain.
Dr. Doom: Oh, but all my stuff is there.
I also love the Cape Feare episode. No one has mentioned the rake gag yet? Best filler ever.

75

Call me unoriginal if you wish, but most of my very favorites have already been mentioned. They include Flaming Moe’s, Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk, Homer at the Bat, The Otto Show, Mr. Plow, Homer’s Triple Bypass, Brother From the Same Planet, Last Exit to Springfield, Cape Feare, Rosebud, Sweet Seymour Skinner’s Baadasssss Song, The Boy Who Knew Too Much, Bart of Darkness, And Maggie Makes Three, 22 Short Films About Springfield, Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment…hmm, I think that’s enough. There are dozens more great ones, but those stick out most. :smiley:

76

I did like the one where Lisa became a vegetarian. Especially when Homer is trying to find her when she ran away. I always laugh at the part where he yells into the baby carriage.

77

Mr. Burns: You know, Smithers, I think I’ll donate a million dollars to the local orphanage…when pigs fly!

Burns and Smithers laugh
Pig flies past window, laughter subsides

Smithers: Will you be donating that million dollars now, sir?
Mr. Burns: Um, no, I’d still prefer not.

78

You know, this would have been really perfect if you’d ended it with THAT DOG HAS A PUFFY TAIL! HEEHEHEEHE!

79

My favorite Homer quote from that episode: “You know, my kids think you’re the greatest. And thanks to your gloomy music, they’ve finally stopped dreaming of a future I can’t possibly provide.”

But the log crushed Kentucky Fried Panda, leaving Homer to reminisce how the food there was “finger Ling-Ling good”!

80

All right, I admit I like that part. I also liked Homer and Bart chasing the pig. “It’s just a little wet, it’s still good, it’s still good! It’s just a little air born, it’s still good, it’s still good!”