I was informed this week that I am to be a grandmother. It’s gotten me thinking back to my early days of motherhood and the things I wanted/needed most.
Onsies
Diapers
Footed sleepers
Yep, that was pretty much it. We were in Florida (which is where my daughter lives now) and warm clothes weren’t really required. We got a couple of really cute baby outfits that were each worn once, because those adorable little togs were totally impractical on a daily basis. But the 3 items listed above were the best!!
Of course, there’s also a good car seat, a stroller, and a crib with lots of extra sheets, and some changing pads. I never had or missed a changing table or a baby wipes warmer. Toys were pretty useless in the early days. The crank-up swing was nice, so I might add that to the list.
But my baby is 32, so I’ve probably forgotten a lot, and I’m certainly not aware of new stuff for babies. Hence I’m asking newer moms and grandmoms what you think are necessities for a new mom. I need to be sure my grandbaby has what he/she needs!
They make little bouncy chairs that are cheap, lightweight, and usable from the newborn stage through the first year. It gives you a place to put the baby down without worrying about them rolling off. We were in dire straits for about a week until we found out about them–we were putting the kid in her car seat, just to get a break. I’m talking this kind of thing.
Later, the exersaucer was indispensable. They’re expensive but if you think more than one grandchild is in the offing, a new one (that isn’t missing toys, the way our used one was…) would be worth it.
A very present grandparent is the best thing you can do for your grandchild…my childrens grand parents were the best on both sides…you don’t have to hover or live next door to be there for your daughter and new baby…but visits will be great!
Pack N Plays are pretty essential these days. Most of them come with an infant insert (a smaller compartment that’s higher that keeps the baby from rolling) and a changing station. This is extremely helpful if you have more than one floor in your house. Also nice to have a used one at grandma’s house.
An exersaucer at home and one at grandma’s too is good.
Sleep sacks and teething necklaces are nice and sometimes expensive.
Diaper bags. When we had our first we had a diaper bag like every other new parent. And like every other new parent we forgot it once or twice which really screwed up that day’s plans. With our second we bought a few cheap diaper bags and loaded them some essentials (diapers, a couple changes of clothes, blankets, an empty bottle and some single-see formula packets, etc.) and just kept them in the trunk of the car. When we invariably forgot the main diaper bag we had the backup in the car ready to go. If you do this explain what they’re for. Now that reusable shopping bags are ubiquitous those would work well also.
However, by far the best single item we were gifted when we became parents was an in-ear thermometer. A good one is about 50 bucks. We would’ve never thought of it ourselves and we only had the old under-the-tongue digital ones. Horrible to use on a baby. Today if I’m giving a baby shower gift it’s an in-ear thermometer with a large supply of the plastic covers–several hundred at least, as new parents with a sick baby will go through the covers like there’s no tomorrow and they tend to be one of those things you don’t think about buying until you actally need them which will at 3am when all the stores are closed and mom and dad are half asleep.
Also, most people will get the parents all sorts of toys that make noise. All these require batteries. Go to Costco or Home Depot and load up lots (and I mean lots) of AA, AAA, C, and D batteries. The parents may roll their eyes when they get them but believe me they will be used and the parents will be grateful eventually.
Visits will likely be few and far between, as we live 800 miles apart, alas. I hate that, but there’s no way I’ll ever move back to Florida, and it’s unlikely that my daughter will move any closer to me. And because of the distance, I don’t see me having a bunch of baby stuff here. But maybe I’ll make up a baby kit in a plastic lidded bin for when they come to visit.
I like the idea of multiple diaper bags! And the thermometer, too. That never would have occurred to me.
The noisy gifts will come later - I haven’t decided between a set of drums or a trumpet!
Soft, quality washcloths. Particularly important for diaper changes if the niblet is a boy. I always include several packs with any baby gift, and they’re always appreciated.
Clothes, blankets, etc. we had more than we needed so another one wouldn’t be helpful. By the time we might’ve gotten to it they’re too small. Infants don’t need shoes. Receiving blankets are especially crap, those got like a week of use.
Nobody gifted us a Pack n Play, we bought that later. Probably one of the things you can get lots of use out of for a couple years even. We found it super useful if you want any semblance of an adult social life.
I was looking into diaper subscriptions - you can arrange for monthly deliveries to the door. Beats running to 7-11 in the middle of the night when you run out!
Congratulations! I also suggest a diaper bag and filling it with some diapers, wipes, etc would be extra awesome. What about a good stroller or a car seat?
The leaving diapers and clothes in the car never worked for me. He grew too damn fast. I just ended up with a trunk full of wasted diapers. Same with Amazon Subscribe and Save. I had to give away at least a whole box, once.
I actually really appreciated cute outfits, especially for Xmas. I can afford to clothe my kid myself, but I have a lot of trouble, psychologically, spending more than Wal-Mart prices for kid clothes. And once the baby was born, I also didn’t have time or energy to go anywhere that I couldn’t also do my grocery shopping at. It’s natural to want to show off your kid, and I really liked having at least one really cute outfit at each size.
At around a year, my mom bought my son a cute sweater/pants combo. It probably cost $30. I would NEVER indulge myself by spending that kind of money so frivilously. But every time I was introducing him to new family/friends or just had a chance, I put that set on him, and every time I really liked seeing him in something a little nicer than the endless cheap t-shirts I felt I was allowed to buy him.
Let me back up zoid, here. I always get new parents a cleaning service. It’s good for morale, when they can’t keep up, to have a clean home to function in.
Bouncy chair, meal service/pizza delivery, and a shit-ton of plain old cotton diapers, for burping, wiping snot, etc. (And the diapers graduate nicely to general household usage - washing cars, spot-cleaning floors, whatever.)
Cleaning service is nice, unless you are like me and find the idea stressful (I don’t want a stranger in my house, putzing around.)
A week or two of grocery delivery might also be nice, if that service is available in your daughter’s area.
I don’t think a cleaning service would work - they share someone else’s home, so it could be intrusive. Same with a grocery service since I don’t know how they deal with “my food/your food/our food.” We often give restaurant gift cards, but until they have someone they trust to babysit, I don’t see them going out, and I distinctly remember that our bundle of joy hated when we went out to eat - she’d scream till we left, so we quit going.
When I am able to visit, I will stay in a hotel, for my sanity and theirs, but like I said, due to work and distance, it won’t happen all that often.
My daughter did say they’d talked about moving back to this area, since his family lives here, too, but they worried about the expense. I told her we’d help out, but I seriously doubt they’ll move. We’ll just have to see.
Not everyone is on board with the concept but… gift cards to the stores they frequent? That way they have a way to get all those items that everyone else forget, or they run low on, or whatever. Maybe not the only item you give but really, having a means to get that extra bag of diapers or whatever can really help a family out, especially if they’re on a tight budget.
(Based on overheard conversations and experiences as a cashier in a big-box store.)
It’s gotten me thinking back to my early days of motherhood and the things I wanted/needed most.