For fans of musical theatre, the 7 Forbidden Broadway CDS will have you laughing harder than you thought you could. There’s also a Forbidden Hollywood that is also great.
Thankfully, my dad owns just about every Cosby record ever, so I got to grow up on it, as well. My favorite is definitely “Wonderfullness,” if for nothing else but the
Go Carts" sketch.
“The race took place on Dead Man’s hill. They called it that because it went half a mile straight down and opened up into a freeway.”
And who can forget “The Chicken Heart”?
“Bum BUM. Bum BUM. Bum BUM.”
But now, I do have a question. On the radio I recently heard a comedy clip that almost made me crash the car from laughing. The comedian (sadly, I don’t know the name) was discussing what a baseball game in the time of the Bible would be like. It featured such gems as:
“LAZARUS stepping up to the plate, here’s the pitch. OH, HE’S HIT! HE’S DOWN! He’s…he’s DEAD, folks! WAIT, HE’S GETTING BACK UP! THAT’S THE FOURTH TIME THIS WEEK!”
and “Thomas up to bat, Jesus gives him the sign, but wait, Thomas is ignoring it! He’s showing signs of doubt, here, folks…”
Anyway, if anyone else has heard it, and knows of it being available on the internet, I’d be eternally greatful. Anybody?
How much for a tape of “200 M.P.H.”?
Odd as It might seem, I like Emo Philips.
I’ve heard just one album, E=MO[sup]2[/sup] and it cracked me up.
“Probably, the hardest thing in anyone’s life, is when you have to kill a loved one because they’re the devil…But other than that it’s been a good day”
“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me”
"I ran three miles today. Finally I said, “Lady take your purse.”
I went to school, ya know. I went to grammar school and once we were taking a test and I was copying this other kid’s paper, and I guess the teacher heard my
xerox machine. She said, “Emo, am I stupid or were you cheating?,” and I said, “Ah, yes and no.” She sends me to the principal’s office and I get there and sit
down and he looks at me and says, “Emo, Emo, Emo.” I said, “I’m the one in the middle, you drunken slob.” He said, “Emo, how would you like to repeat the fifth
grade?” I said, “I don’t know if I could do it exactly, but I could try.” He said, “I could expel you!” I said, “You’ll have to catch and eat me first, ya wierdo.” He said,
“Emo, you’ll have to see the school psychologist.” And I said, “But why do I have to see the school psychologist?” So he shows me the petition. So I went to the
psychologist and he says, “Emo, what does this inkblot look like to you?” I said, “Well, it’s kind of embarassing.” He said, “Emo, everyone sees something silly.
Don’t be embarassed. Tell me, what does this inkblot look like to you?” I said, “Well, uh, to me, um, it looks like, uh, standard pattern number 3 in the Rorshach
series to test obsesive compulsiveness.” And he got kind of depressed, so I said, “OK, it’s a butterfly.” And he cheered up. “And what does this inkblot look like?” I
said it looks like a horrible, ugly blob of pure evil, that sucks the souls of men into a vortex of sin and degredation." He said, “No, uh the inkblots over there, that’s a
photo of my wife you’re looking at.” “Oh, was I far off?” He said, “No, that’s the sad part.” And he gave me a chocolate easter bunny and I ate the bunny, then I
thought, hey, this isn’t easter. “Is this a test?” And he said, “Yes.” “And what does it mean?” He said, “Had you eaten the ears first you would have been normal.
Had you eaten the feet first you would have had an inferiority complex. Had you eaten the tail first you would have had latent homosexual tendencies and had you
eaten the breasts first you would have had a latent oedipal complex.” “Well…go on, what does it mean when you bite out the eyes and scream ‘stop staring at me?’”
He said, “It means you have a tendency towards self destruction.” I said, “Well, what do you recommend?” He said, “Go for it.”
I can’t get within 10 feet of a chocolate bunny without quoting this line.
There was one put together by a UK DJ and personality called Kenny Everett(sadly now passed on) called ‘The worlds worst songs’ or somesuch which had some absolute gems on it.
Glad to see Spike Hughes got a mention, ‘On some secluded avenue’ was a favourite, especially when you rememgbe that that particualar song was one of the family parlour schmaltzy enetertainment songs, sung slow and full of false emotion. Spike completely changed it forever.
I would have thought Weird Al Yankovich would have had a mention.
You can get recordings of most of the Goon shows on CD but you will probably have to go to a specialist dealer, its all on the BBC own record label.You have to listen to that stuff over and over as the jokes and surreal absurdities come thick and fast.
Here is a link to a list of stuff
http://www.silverdisc.com/comedy_cd’s.htm
If it aint there then its likely deleted.
Many of the ones I would have said have already been mentioned: Bill Hicks, Bill Cosby, Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy.
I would only add “Los Cochinos” by Cheech and Chong.
I love Bob Newhart, the Driving Instructor bit is my favorite. But, I can’t believe nobody has nominated my favorite, Sam Kinisons “Have you seen me lately” Another talent whose life was cut too short.