Someone I work with is in the hospital with cancer and a poor prognosis. I’d like to send flowers from all of us at our organization, but am not sure what to put on the card - “get well soon” is hardly appropriate since chances are that he won’t.
I can’t be the first person to grapple with this. Any thoughts? The best I can come up with is something along the lines of “All of us at [org name] are holding you in our thoughts” or something like that. (We’re super-secular, so no “thoughts and prayers” for sure.) I don’t like the phrase “best wishes” because it smacks of “for a full recovery” or a positive event (isn’t “best wishes” what you are supposed to say to the groom at a wedding?)
I won’t have his hospital info until tomorrow so I can take suggestions over the next 24 hours. Thanks for any ideas.
When my dad was on his death bed (lung cancer and pneumonia) I, as an eight year old, made this card for him:
What makes the sound “ha, ha, bonk”?
Answer: a man laughing his head off!
My dad loved it.
But the point is much more, while my dad liked my tasteless joke, your colleague is someone you know. Internet strangers are not really going to be able to give you a lot of useful advice.
My first thought was something along the lines of “sending you our love.”
But that obviously hinges on whether any use of the word ‘love’ is appropriate in this case, with this person, with the nature of the relationships, etc.
It seems unlikely to backfire/cause harm, though. IME … at ‘the end …’ people feeling loved is rarely a bad thing.
I wrestled with this a couple hours ago. A casual friend has late stage cancer. I’m not hearing much from his end but I gather he’s in hospice now.
What I’ve been able to pick up on:
Don’t slip prematurely into the past tense. Avoid religion, “I know what you’re going through”, “You can fight this”.
If you can point to things you have really appreciated, do so.
If there’s anything you should be apologizing for, or any apology you should be accepting, now’s the time.
Don’t just say “let me know if I can help”; rather, go ahead and help if you know how, or ask “how can I help”.
If you can use humor, do so.
This perspective is all relevant to somebody you’re friendly with but not very close to. It can apply when you don’t know much about what’s going on. All sorts of additional things come up if you’re close.
I like the sound of a message that Is part emotionally sincere like we’re keeping you in our thoughts, you are missed, and part humor if the person is pretty familiar with you, something light and
Good for a chuckle. Office/Org joke or updates.