Here’s a good one, "The word “apology” is not in GW’s vocabulary, but neither are many other words.
Do you know any others?
ecology
The Washington Times.
I first heard this joke as a Bush Sr./Quayle joke, but I have changed the names and reversed the roles to fit the current administration. (And while I’m not much for Bush bashing, I happen to think this is a pretty funny joke.)
Colin Powell is given a speech to the press corps, and President Bush is watching from the back of the room. Powell approaches the podium carrying a duffel bag and a pencil, and sets them both down close by.
“I have heard that some of you in the press think that I’m not very good at foreign policy and that I don’t have the grace under pressure to make the tough decisions,” Powell says. “I’ll show you grace under pressure.” With that he takes a snapping turtle out of the duffel bag, shakes it up to make it really angry, unzips his fly, and the turtle bites him on the end of his penis. He then proceeds to give the rest of his briefing with the turtle hanging there. When he has finished, he takes the pencil and jabs the turtle in the eye with it to make it let go, and puts the turtle back in the bag. “There,” he says. “That should show you grace under pressure! In fact, I doubt there’s one of you that would be willing to try it!” Bush tentatively raises his hand: “Well, I’ll give it a try,” he says, “if you promise not to poke me in the eye.”
George W. Bush heard from a staff member that Vice President Cheney had angina.
Upon hearing this, Dubya blushed, laughed, then scoffed: “Oh, that’s silly. Boys don’t have anginas!”
Sorry.
Here’s a better one:
While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea
with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership
philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself
with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if
they’re intelligent.
“I do so by asking them the
right questions,” says the Queen. “Allow me to
demonstrate.” She phones Tony Blair and says, “Mr.
Prime Minister.
Please answer this question: Your mother has a
child, and your father has a child, and this child is
not your brother or sister. Who is it?”
Tony Blair
responds , “It’s me, ma’am.”
“Correct. Thank you and
good-bye, sir,” says the Queen. She hangs up and says,
“Did you get that, Mr. Bush?”
“Yes, ma’am. Thanks a
lot. I’ll definitely be using that!”
Upon returning to Washington, he decides he’d better
put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations
Committee to the test. He summons Jesse Helms to the
White House and says, “Senator Helms, I wonder if you
can answer a question for me.”
“Why, of course, sir.
What’s on your mind?”
“Uhh, your mother has a child,
and your father has a child, and this child is not
your brother or your sister. Who is it?”
Helms hems and haws and finally asks, “Can I think
about it and get back to you?”
Bush agrees, and Helms
leaves. Helms immediately calls a meeting of other
senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the
question for several hours, but nobody can come up
with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls
Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his
problem. “Now lookee here, son, your mother has a
child, and your father has a child, and this child is
not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”
Powell
answers immediately, “It’s me, of course, you dumb
cracker.”
Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the
White House and exclaims, “I know the answer, sir! I
know who it is! It’s Colin Powell!”
And Bush replies in disgust, “Wrong, you dumb shit,
it’s Tony Blair!”
This image was perhaps funnier than the punchline (and the punchline was pretty funny, too)