Man, those medieval folks had some prime nicknames. No “Bob” or “Mandy” for them, oh no sir. They put some thought, some effort into their nicknames. And they had some of the most impossibly cool names ever.
My personal favorite? Ulick Burke Bod-an-Balcuigh, Lord of Clanricarde. His name, when translated from Irish Gaelic, means Penis of Power. There’s got to be a story behind that one.
Sometimes the “story” is a misunderstanding.
My favorite Anglo-Saxon king Ethelred the Unready. (King of the English from 978 to 1016).
The term ‘Unready’ is probably a misinterpretation of the word ‘un-raed’ which means ‘lack of council’.
I’ve never figured out if in this case it’s supposed to mean that he’s wise enough that he didn’t need help or that lack of competent help was responsible for what happened to his kingdom.
He was generally despised by both the English and the Vikings, so I’m guessing it was speaking to his incompetence. (His wife was the only woman to be wife of two English kings [and mother of two more, though several women have been mother to two or more English monarchs]).
I like Louis the Sluggard, Louis the Fat, William the Bastard, Robert the Devil and Isabella the Wolf-Bitch. (In our family we had Harley the Flatulent but that was in 1980s Alabama so it’s not as impressive.)
I’m trying to get a She-Ra joke out of this and I can’t make it work.
Sampiro, usually her nickname is given as Isabella the She-Wolf. I confess to liking Wolf-Bitch better. It gives a better feel for what her enemies were going for, methinks.
Another good one: Erik the Priest-Hater.
By the power of Greyskull…
Honor of Greyskull-you’re thinking of He-Man. (Damn, what I nerd I am!)
Ivan the Terrible of Russia sounds so much cooler in the original Russian: Ivan Grozny, or Ivan the Dread.
Help from some of you scholars:
In the novel Ivanhoe, reference is made to a knight known as Athlestane(sp?) the Unready. The author goes to some length to explain Athlestane’s failings, which do include a considerable lack of preparedness. He’s one of my all time favorite literary characters.
Is this just a take-off from the above-mentioned Ethelred?
:smack: You are right, of course.
… about you being a nerd, not about the *honor * part!
Sounds like it. Æthelred the Unready had the rather ignoble distinction of being kicked out of his own country. After he died, the throne of England was fought over by such colorfully named people as Edmund Ironside and Canute, son of Sweyn Forkbeard. Canute married Edmund’s stepmother and spawned Harthacanute, who did everyone a favor by croaking. Oh, and Harold Harefoot was in there somewhere, too. Then Æthelred’s son Edward the Confessor ruled for a while, and then (the nerve of him!) died.
Now England was being fought over by William the Bastard, Harald Hardraada (Hard Counsel), and Harold, who’s name was pretty boring. That’s why he lost, I think. Anyway, after he became king, William got an upgrade to William the Conqueror. Much more impressive.
I’ve always been partial to Edward, the Black Prince (even before he was played by James Purefoy!). Man, I’d love to be able to use that at parties.
“Hi, I’m William the Cooper.”
“Oh, how nice. I’m Edward, the Black Prince.”
And he married Joan, the Fair Maid of Kent – dude’s pretty much got it made across the board. 
It kinda says something about the women of Kent that you could call someone “THE fair maid of Kent,” and everyone knew who you were talking about…
Ethelred’s half-brother and predecessor, Edward the Martyr. Though, of course, he never introduced himself that way.
Then there’s the classic Richard the Lionhearted. It shows that having a cool nickname can make people think you were actually a good king (Richard, like all other King Richards of England, was an military-minded idiot with tyrannical tendencies).
Wasn’t there a French royal named Pepin the Short.
It reminds me of the old SNL skit where the drill seargent was trying to come up with insult names for the troops.
“Your name isn’t Johnson. From now on, I’m gonna call you. . .Mr. . .Mr. Feet Attached to Legs.”
“You think that’s funny, PRIVATE??? From now on, your name is Happy Smiling Laughing Guy.”
Yeah, and his brother, who by all accounts was a relatively decent king (although the bar was set pretty low in those days) was stuck with being Bad Prince John, John Lackland, and John Softsword – and I don’t think that last refers to his military prowess or lack thereof!
I bet they never called him Charles the Fat to his face either… but then his dad was Louis the German, so anything else had to have been better…
Grim
Lots of internet sites list an Eric II, king of Denmark, who died in 1104. They state, “He was known as Eric the Memorable, but no one remembers why.”
I like the nickname of King Bruno the Questionable, from the movie Jabberwocky.
And Sweyn’s father was Harold Bluetooth, so named because after he converted to Christianity he insisted that all of the monks who kept his records be totally wireless.
Ludwig the Stupid is going to take some beating. William of Normandy was universally known as William the Bastard. It does what it says on the tin.