Best Professor Frink Lines

while trying to discover the secret ingredient in Flaming Moes

Frink: According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient
is…LOVE?! Who’s been screwing with this thing?


Mel Gibson (reading card): “Good movie, but needs more flubber. Glavin?”


“I’ve re-dorkulated!”

and the absolute best Frink quote ever, from Treehouse of Horror VII (courtesy of the SNPP):

Listen, I can take care of everything. All you have to do is unshrink me.

“Unshrink you? Well, that would require some sort of a re-bigulator, which is a concept so ridiculous is makes me want to laugh out loud and chortle, and… [Lisa looks at him] uh…but not at you, O holiest of gods, with the wrathfulness and the vengeance and the blood rain and the hey-hey-hey-it-hurts-me…”

From the Loch Ness episode…

Burns: Where’s my monster, tubby? What do you people think I’m paying you for?
Homer: Um, to work in your power plant?
Willie: You’re not paying me anything.
Frink: You kidnapped me. I remember it distinctly with the grabbing, duct taping, tennis ball in the mouth. It hurt me.

Frink: Oh, my great good God. Gentlemen, your attention, please. I am detecting a gigantic amphibious life form! It’s 80 meters long and it’s heading this way! Oh, good glavin, it’s on my shoe! It’s a … a small frog. Just get off. Just get off. Get out! Get out!
[shakes the frog off his shoe]
Stupid machine. Oh, wait a minute, this isn’t the monsterometer, it’s the frog exaggerator!
Burns: We’re the laughingstock of the town!
[the five people stand there looking mildly annoyed]

From the beginning of I’m Going to Praiseland :

Frink is showing a small crowd at a church fair this aparatus he’s constructed that can milk a cow, then turn it into soft-serve ice cream. (Cletus: “I’ll have the darkity kind.”)

Bart (IIRC) asks for swirl, and Frink instructs the cow to make swirl. The cow doesn’t like the command, and starts beating up Frink. At this point you’d expect “Oh, Glavin” and whatnot, but instead, Frink screams:

It’s a stupid episode, but I get a good laugh every time I hear that line.

Was the cow-beating-up-the-nerdy-scientist a reference to a specific Reitman movie?

I don’t think so.

I think it’s a reference to “Ghostbusters,” which was directed by Ivan Reitman. The way Frink’s aparatus was set up, creating swirl ice cream involved “crossing the streams” in much the same manner the Ghostbusters had to cross the streams of their, uh, ghostbusting dealies, at the end of the movie.

Now, I confess, I had confused Ivan Reitman with Harold Ramis—so I also thought Frink was calling out to Ivan Reitman to protect him. Which, thinking Reitman was Ramis, sort of made sense since Ramis has that “dorky look” that Frink does. Reitman is (relatively) less dorky looking.

Discussing operation hoyven mavin.

“Jesus, Mary and glaven!”

BTW, Jerry Lewis will be a guest on an episode this season. Does anyone know if his character will be related to Frink?

Torgo, he will be playing Prof. Frink’s father. My own submission to this thread is Frink’s “story” from 22 Short Films About Springfield:

‘The Tomfoolery of Professor John Frink’.
Frink: Ha ha wha. Oh, sorry I’m late. There was trouble at the
lab with the running and the exploding and the crying
when the monkeys stole the glasses off my head. Wh-ha ha.
(The screen fades.)
Frink: Oh, no, please no. I have a funny story if you listen. I
even wrote theme music, here listen. Ha ha, mm-m hey hey,
Professor Frink, Professor Frink,
He’ll make you laugh, he’ll make you think,
He likes to run, and then the thing,
with the… mm-m person…
Oh boy, that monkey is going to pay.

Surely someone else remembers the episode where Grampa Simpson inherits the vast sum of money and deicdes to give it away to a worthy cause.

Grampa: What the hell is that?
Frink: Why it’s a death ray my good man, behold!
Grampa: (putting his hand in it’s path) Hey! Feels warm, kinda nice.
Frink: Well it is just a prototype… with proper funding, I’m confident this little baby could destroy an area the size of New York City.
Grampa: But I want to help people, not kill 'em!
Frink: Oh. Well, to be honest, the ray only has evil applications… you know, my wife will be happy. She’s hated this whole death ray thing from day one.

I loved the flashback to his youth while demonstrating the “Frink-i-vac” mainframe he made some rather inaccurate technology predictions:

"It’s my belief that within 100 years computers will be 10 times as powerful, 1000 times as large, and so expensive as to be only afforded by the three richest kings of Europe, eh-hay-ven!"