Shortly after coming out, Martina Navratilova (sp?) was asked by an idiot (male) sportswriter: “Are you still a lesbian?”
Martina replied: “That depends. Are you still the alternative?”
Goaltender Patrick Roy was badly beaten on a goal by Jeremy Roenick who was gloating afterward to reporters. Roy (who’d won two championships at that point) was asked if he’d heard what Roenick had to say.
“No. I had my two Stanley Cup rings in my ears”
and the best one of all…
Former Jets DE and general jackass Mark Gastineau once cornered a female sportscaster in the locker room and dropped his towel, asking “What do you think of this?”
Sometimes I wonder if the best part of you dripped down the crack of your mamma’s ass - A putdown one of my employee’s gave one of his co-workers lastweek
From the old, glorious but not forgotten Valerie Harper sitcom Rhoda:
Male pest: I thought I’d come round and cheer you up.
Rhoda: You can not do both.
From American Idol. Paula Abdul putting down Simon Cowell:
That’s what happens when you get breast-fed by your father.
hey Belrix, OH YEAH! love that one… now I have to sound off (unfortunately you stole my best *nix based insult)… (ps… love the BOFH, clickety click)
so here we go with the insults… I hope no one takes offense
“You’re a load that should have been swallowed” or “You’re the result of a load that should have been swallowed”
“I really wish your mother had been pro-choice”
“Did you ever think of just eating a bullet??? seriously, the end result would be the same, and you’d endure a lot less failure and suffering”
“Thousands of people die everyday… why can’t you be on of them?”
“I know you think what you just spewed from your mouth was insightful, and I pity you for that”
“How is it that you keep from dragging your knuckles on the ground?”
“So… did your parents know each other before they were brother and sister?”
“Given your last statements, I’m surprised that you remember to breath a few times a minute”
and I could go on… on wait, there’s one more…
“Oh, I see you’re using Windows™…”
(apologies to Windows™ users… I know “it [windows] gets the job done”, but OS X and Linux also get the job done, and they cost less and are more powerful
Hey, “You’re so low that you have to look down to see up!” actually makes a lot of sense. It took me a couple of seconds to get it in this variation, I came to conclusion you meant that the person is so low down that he/she came through the earth and is now on the other side, and has to look what would be down to you, to see up.
Someone here uses this as a sig line, and I think it’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen (probably paraphrased, because I have CRS these days):
“Everyone has something to bring to the conversation. I think from now on you should bring silence.”
