Best Snake (Simpson's) lines

Cafe Society
1

Snake, Springfields perpetual petty criminal, has to be one of my favorite reoccuring minor Simpson’s characters since Lional Hutz or ole’ Gil.

Some of my favorite lines:

“That’s Little Bandit! And it sounds like she’s in PAIN! Screw the ‘honor system’!! Little Bandit needs me!” [opens the unlocked jail and escapes]

“Regular!!! She needs 'premium, dude! … PREMIUM!!! … DUUUUUDE!!”

“Mask…check, bag with dollar sign…check…awright, let’s go rob this…bowling alley?!..ok whatever…”

“…BYE!”

“…YOINK!”

“Who do you have to kill to get a place like this?”
“I think his name was ‘Bob’.’”

2

Use a pen, Bob!

My fave of the non-regulars is probably frink.

3

Lisa: Wow, looks like the whole town came for this meeting.
Shot of Snake and pals robbing the town.

Snake: This town is soooo stupid.
also

Snake: I’m gonna take this thing to Mexico!

My favorite non- regular character is Apu.

4

All right… crime spree!

And regarding Snake (From Separate Vocations):

5

“Nice try, cops! But no DONUT!” screeeeech

6

When he was transfigured into bart’s virus…

“Alright! Let’s make some puss!”

7

When he was transfigured into bart’s virus…

“Alright! Let’s make some puss!”

8

“So long, student loan payments!”

I can’t believe that one hasn’t come up yet… :wink:

9

Angry Mob: Wheres a gun toteting (sp) hooligan when you need one?

Snake: Sorry man, I was in the can.

10

OH no!.. Beta!

11

One time I was at a friend’s house drinking and we decided I would have to sleep there. She was trying to find something for me to wear to bed and I had to tell her that maybe she should just give me along t-shirt because I wasn’t wearing underwear and she said, “all riiiiight, time for a crime spree.” I don’t know what the hell she said it for but ever since then it’s my favourite.

12

That’s my favorite too, but I’m going to nitpick that it was “Li’l Bandit.” The “Li’l” for “Little” was what made it for me.

13

“I’m… Badly hurt!”

14

Doh!!
Just on the other day:

Wiggum: Alright, I’ll let you guys out to see my hockey game but you have to promise to come back
Snake: No way copper!
Wiggum: Alright…then you have to promise not to commit any more crimes…
Snake: No
Wiggum: I’ll take that as a yes. [releases him]

[and after the fight breaks out at the hockey game]
Those kids are sooo sweet. I can’t help but think if they had peewee hockey when I was a kid, how my life might have turned out…oh well!! [starts ripping out seats with a crowbar]

15

Homer’s bowling team is playing the Police bowling team, one of which is a shackled Snake. Wiggum removes the shackles.

Wiggum: Alright Snake, make us proud!

Snake picks up ball, shuffles towards lane.

Snake: One two three…

Snake keeps running towards the exit and escapes.

Snake: fourfivesixseveneightnineten! BYE!

Wiggum: Uhhh…we forfeit.

16

When one of Krusty’s guest stars is advancing to beat up Snake for some reason or another:

“Oh, no! Bette Midler!”

17

Snake is definitely my favourite non-regular from The Simpsons. I love that Halloween episode where Homer has the hair transplant and Snake’s Hair tries to kill Bart.

I can’t remember any of the lines though… not off the top of my head (hehheh).

18

“Uh…wallet inspector”

19

In the Garden of Eden:

Eve/Marge (pointing to a snake in the Tree of Knowledge): “And what do you call that animal?”

Adam/Homer: “Tree monster.”

Snake: “Call me Snake, dude! And try some of this! [holding out (somehow) a platter of apples, whole and sliced] From God’s special stash!”

20

From the same episode with Li’l Bandit -

“Whoa! This is SO dangerous!”