Best Snake (Simpson's) lines

“I told the guard I was going to the john, and then I TOTALLY stabbed him!”

In the same ‘Li’l Bandit’ episode, when Snake’s stringing a steel wire across the road for Homer to drive thru*:

"Okay, head comes off, Li’l Bandit rolls to a gentle stop, everybody wins!"

*unfortunately this whole scene seems to have been cut for time in syndication :mad: