We’ve had several recent CS threads on favorite lines spoken on The Simpsons by Homer, Bart, Marge and Lisa. But some of the most memorable lines in the show were not spoken by any recurring character. Here’s one to get us started: When Lisa is assigned to babysit Bart, and he retaliates with prank calls, etc., and then falls down the stairs and hurts himself, Lisa calls 911:
Lisa: "Hello, this is the Simpson residence . . . "
Operator: “Simpson? Oh, no! We’ve already been out there tonight for an emergency sisterectomy, a case of terminal buttrot, and a leprechaun fight! How dumb do you think we are?”
In the Mel Gibson episode, when Mel submits his remake of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (with much bloody carnage added on Homer’s advice) to the studio brass:
Exec: “This film is AWFUL! It’s worse than Godfather 3!”
Mel: “Whoa! Let’s not say stuff we can’t take back.”
Exec: “Alright, I’m sorry.”
One of my all-time favorite lines is by the German guy at “Fourth Reich Motors” when Lisa points out that their crash-test footage isn’t using real dummies:
In one of the Treehouse of Horror episodes where Monty Burns is a vampire:
Lisa: Dad! Bart is a vampire!
Homer: Oh Lisa. You and your stories. Bart is a vampire. Beer kills brain cells. Now let’s go back to that building… thingy… where our beds and TV… is.
Lisa was taking dance lessons, but was no good, and used Professor Frink’s mechanical dancing shoes during a recital. Lisa’s instructor (a former Shirley Temple-like child star whose character name escapes me) found out and uttered:
I always had something of a soft spot for the eastern-european gymnastics coach, Lugash.
Lugash : How old are you, sweetie?
Lisa : Eight
Lugash : Too old! Go home, grandma!
[Other chidren giggle]
Lugash : No giggling! It veakens ze haunches!
TV spokesmen: “Fox is experiencing technical difficulties at this moment. Please do not talk to family members or loved ones. Do not attempt any sexual relations for years of radiation has left your genitals withered and useless.”
Wiggum pulls up covers and looks down: “Well, I’ll be”
Jimmy: What’s gonna happen to him?
Mechanic: Remember that Oldsmobile we just couldn’t fix?
Jimmy: We’re gonna sell him to Mr. Stefanopolos?
Mechanic: You’re a dull boy Jimmy.