Do not boil lobster!
There are only three proper ways to cook a lobster.
Broil the sonuvabitch!
Lay the lobster down on his back. You will see a long line running down the center or his/her thorax. Place a knife in this seam and rotate it suddenly forward so the point of the knife goes into lobster’s skull, killing it mercifully and quickly.
Using the but of your hand or a hammer use the knife to split the lobster down the middle. You only have to split the lobster open, not cut it completely in two. Make the split all the way down to the tail.
Now reverse the knife and smash the claws so that they are nicely cracked.
Place butter in the seam that you have split in the tail.
With the claws above the head wrap the lobster tightly in one layer of tin foil twisting it above the claws and below the tail (this will prevent it from curling and ensure even cooking.
Broil for ten minutes in the foil. Remove the foil and broil for another 3 minutes or so. Serve with butter, french fries, onion rings and creamed spinach.
You will need a true steamer that does not let the lobster touch the water. If the lobster is in the water, all the lobstery goodness and taste is going into the water. Unless you are going to make a bisque this is an unpardonable sin.
Get your steamer going and then dispatch the lobsters to Valhalla with a sharp knife as described in the first recipe (refrain from splitting them, just scramble their brains.)
Steam the lobsters one at a time for three minutes apiece. You do not want to cook them, you are just basically poaching them. Save the water you are steaming them in.
Once poached, remove all the meat from the shells preserving it as much as possible.
Mix four sticks of Hotel Bar butter (the best) and 1/4 cup of water in a saucepan. Whisk thoroughly and bring to 170 degrees farenheit. Use a thermometer. Boil the remaining shells in the lobster water. Still save the the water.
Place the lobster meat in the whisked butter/water and bring it back to 170 degrees stirring gently. Here you need to be careful. You want to make sure your meat is thoroughly cooked through but not overcooked. The thickness of the lobster meat will determine how long it needs to stay in the butter. Should be about 7-9 minutes for lobster this size.
While this is going on remove your shells from the water. Save your shells and save the water. Place a chopped onion in the water, along with a bit of celery and a dash of salt and old bay seasoning. and boil.
When your lobster is done remove it from the butter. Strain the lobster water and return to a boil. Add half the butter and reduce it to a thick sauce.
While this is going on put the lobster meat back in the shells in a stylistically artistic fashion. drizzle some of your sauce sparingly over the plate and into the shells.
Serve with asparagus.
Your’re not worthy.