Better living through disco?

CHICAGO, Illinois (AP) – “Stayin’ Alive” might be more true to its name than the Bee Gees ever could have guessed: At 103 beats per minute, the old disco song has almost the perfect rhythm to help jump-start a stopped heart.
Hmmmm. Ya know, when my ticker finally goes offline, if I wake up to some kid pumping my chest and singing Bee Gees music, I’ll assume I’ve died and gone to Hell. This will confuse me, as I’m an atheist, and do not belive Hell actually exists.

Screw the docs. If you ever feel the need to do CPR on Oakie, kindly sing some Led Zep, Hendrix, or Skynyrd.

Dear Medical Alert Bracelet People:

Please make a bracelet with an audible mp3 of Queen’s ‘AOBtD’ for those of us wanting to return to the living laughing our asses off.


Great. I can now only hope to never have to administer CPR, because I’ve got a habit of singing out loud when otherwise occupied while having a song play in my head.

Or at least I’ll hope it’ll be Staying Alive, then. And that I don’t accidentally start drumming out the whole rhythm section.