Here’s the “math” I get.
Daughter was trained by you to hate MAGA hats and the people that wear them.
Daughter gave tester attitude during test, due to this.
Tester failed daughter for not paying attention to test.
This is the scenario that best fits all the facts given.
Objection:
Assumes a fuckton of facts not in evidence.
Am I the only one who thinks that a direction of “Return to the DMV office” should be taken as an indication of passing the test, and that any failure after that direction should be regarded as suspect? If the testee is too unsafe a driver to be allowed on the road (which is what failing the test means), then the directive should be “Stop the car and get out of the driver’s seat, and let the person who brought you here return to the DMV office”.
Maybe it should be, but in my experience ( both when I was tested and when my kids were) only the tester and the potential driver are in the car - the accompanying driver is waiting at the start of the test. And the testee normally drives back to the starting point- the only time I ever saw the instructor take the keys and walk back to the starting point when when a car broke down. I suppose the same might have happened if the testee blew a red light or something else that caused an immediate failure - but I never saw it on a normal failure where 5 points were deducted for this or that until a certain number of points were accumulated.
After all, in the case of most failures, the person will continue driving under whatever restrictions were in place prior to testing. They don’t typically revoke your permit after a single failure.
Did you pass math class?
I could not care less about MAGA hats and never “trained my daughter to hate people” who wear them. The MAGA hat thing was brought to my daughter’s attention by her friend, who failed her test shortly before daughter’s test. Apparently some teenagers get triggered by MAGA hats. Who knew? They don’t particularly like dad-hats either, and I wear one of those every day.
Daughter did not give the tester attitude whatsoever. I did, and it was mild (and, I believe justified). Unlike my oldest daughter, my youngest tends not to make waves of any kind, even when she’s being wronged (sis tells her to toughen up). I’m sure she was mortified when I said something to the tester.
My daughters don’t mosey into towns like Annie Oakley and Bonnie Parker, with guns ablaze, itching to fight every marshall and deputy they meet.
And, no, I wasn’t tempted to tell my daughter to wait for the instructor to leave after work and run over him in the parking lot, yelling, “how do ya like my U-turns now, bub!”
I’ve always taught my daughters to respect authority.* If you do something wrong, own up to it.* I think parents who automatically take their kid’s side in disputes do their kids (and society) a big disservice—it breeds entitlement and bratty behavior.
When my kids were young, on parent-teachers day, I’d always tell the teachers to do whatever they deemed appropriate (short of beating) when my kids misbehaved, and I would tend to believe them over my kids (because it’s not unheard of for kids to bend the truth in order to avoid punishment). Parents who report teachers every time their snowflakes get a bad grade or get punished make my skin crawl.
On the other hand, kids should be taught to stand up for themselves when they are wronged. Don’t just blindly accept punishment for something you didn’t do, just because someone has a badge of authority.
The default position of both of my daughters is to respect authority. But, when people abuse authority, I encourage them to challenge when appropriate. Authority should be earned by actions, not simply by dint of job title. It should be obvious just by watching the news that some people in authority abuse that authority. It’s obvious black people have been historically profiled and often unjustly punished just for being black. To a lesser degree, I think it’s also obvious some kids (particularly kids who look a little different) are unjustly profiled by some authority figures just for being kids.
My oldest daughter always owns up to her mistakes. I hear, “sorry dad, I screwed up” a lot. She does have a lead foot and has gotten more than a couple speeding tickets (to the point she risks losing her license). She’s always respectful to the officers and pays her tickets with money she’s earned (she’s a full time college student and holds down 2 jobs. She earned a full-ride merit scholarship to a good school, but pays all of own living expenses. She has very little free time).
But, recently she was stopped and harassed by an LE officer for a non-moving violation. The cop detained her for a long time and pursued a weird line of questing about illegal drugs (she doesn’t do drugs and has no drug-related records).
“Are you and him (her boyfriend was in the car) on drugs?”
“No.”
“Do you ever take drugs?”
“No.”
“Are there drugs in this car?”
“No.”
Can I search your car?”
“Do you have a warrant or probable cause?”
The questioning continued, going down a rabbit-hole of weirdness…
He made them get out of the car. He searched the car, on his tenuous claim of probable cause and found no drugs, or anything else illegal. They were detained a long time. He gave her 2 tickets (for non-moving violations). My daughter and her boyfriend were respectful to the cop. He was an ass to both of them.
This time she didn’t simply pay the tickets. She took it to court (on her own, she didn’t even tell me about it until after it was over). The judge threw out the tickets and admonished the officer for harassment.
In my youngest’s case, the tester did not fail my daughter for “not paying attention to the test”. If anything, she was hyper-aware during the test due to being intimidated by his attitude (he even gave me attitude: “…you stay here, while I give your daughter the test”; “Go back and wait till I call you”; “yeah, I’ve heard it all before…” etc.
Again, I did not see my daughter brush the train tracks on her turn (and I had a good vantage point viewing from outside the car (I didn’t stay in the office as he ordered) and my daughter does not believe that she brushed the tracks (and she was well aware of the rule from the manual that you don’t turn on train tracks). It’s possible the tester thought she brushed the tracks, but even if he did, it was obvious the car crossed the tracks before turning. At worst, it was a close call.
It was a subjective failure that I believe most testers would give testees the benefit of the doubt, or at least follow up with a question about the train track rule to make sure she understood it (she did).
It also would have helped if the tester was less antagonistic dealing with scared teenagers. Blurting out, “you failed!” after a long wordless wait was a jerk move that embarrassed my daughter.
My daughter’s not some kind of disrespecting teen rebel and I’m not some kind of hothead dad spouting off all the time, embarrassing my kids. I’m cool, calm and collected almost all the time. I give people the benefit of the doubt probably more than I should. I didn’t raise my voice to this guy, just gave a little sarcasm.
Maybe, it’s a “you had to be there” type of situation, but the tester was a jerk who probably failed 2 teens back-to-back needlessly and appeared to enjoy doing so. I could understand bad attitude if this guy was overworked at a hectic DMV office or if my daughter was in any way disrespectful to him. But, this DMV office is known to be low-attended. We were the only people in the waiting room. And, my daughter is sweet to everyone she meets. Too sweet, sometimes.
Sure, it’s a minor thing in the grand scheme. The worst part is having to miss another day of school and work. My daughter’s happy about that. I’m not.
Yes.
As in, you are the only one that thinks so.
When my high school class in California – and it was a big one – was at the age for getting licensed we compared notes. Of the entire class only one passed on her first try; everyone else had to retest. I think the local office was driving home the point that it “was a privilege, not a right.”
My personal experience was early on in the test came the parallel parking check. When I backed in I misjudged a bit and the rear tire sidewall brushed the curb. It was not enough to stop the motion but I heard it, pulled forward a couple feet and parked successfully. The examiner said to return to the office – I had failed.
I think of them as Bill Engvald’s, “Here’s your sign,” only it’s voluntarily put on by the wearer. Personally, I never wear campaign buttons, hats or shirts; it’s none of their business. And I never put campaign stickers on my car either. When you inevitably make a mistake while driving it’s just an excuse for people to think, “Aha! Another idiot for [candidate]!”
Wow, with us, in the early 90s, as long as you took drivers’ ed, passsed the written test, and did your three “traffics” (driving out in traffic with an instructor), getting passed was largely ceremonial. I don’t think I know a single person who failed. And we didn’t have to go to the DMV to take the test. The drivers’ ed instructor was able to sign us as “passed” after the final traffic (or perhaps there was one last practical test after that, but I remember the instructor, me, and another student in the car for the final test, and we both took the test sequentially, and both passed without a problem.)
When I got my license in Australia in the late '80s, it could depend heavily on where you took the test.
Of the people I knew who took their test in the urban and suburban areas of Sydney, about half (including me) failed the first time and had to take the test again. I also, though, had a lot of friends from relatively small rural towns, hundreds of miles from Sydney, and just about every one of these folks passed on their first try. Apart from the small-town friendliness that probably played a role here, there’s also the fact that it’s easier to pass a test if there are no traffic lights within 50 miles, and if all the roads are about 60 feet wide with no traffic.
I also failed my first license test (Illinois) for one error, and was told by the examiner that a violation of the Vehicle Code was an automatic failure. I don’t recall after all these years what my violation was, but I recall that it was a “fair cop.”
I failed my first test too, in 1986, New York.
Failure to use the clutch properly.
I was driving an automatic.
My dad spoke to the DMV supervisor and immediately got retested with the supervisor and I passed.
So, I’m inclined to believe that the OPs situation could have gone down exactly as described.
Update:
Took daughter to get re-road-tested at a different DMV today. The difference was night and day.
We walk into the lobby and were greeted by a tough-looking armed guard seated behind a glass partition. He smiled, asked us how we were and pointed us down the hall to the driving test check-in room. At that entrance, I tried to scan the bar-code they texted me for fast check-in, but it didn’t work.
The guard saw I was having problems, smiled, got up, walked down the hall and said, “here, let me help you, we’ve been having problems with this machine.” I handed him my phone and he got it scanned properly (it was my fault, the bar needed to be enlarged first). He wished Chloe good luck on her test, then walked back to his station.
We were seated less than 3 minutes before they called us back. The clerk was very pleasant while taking our documentation and put Chloe at instant ease. Then she directed us to have a seat in front of her station, while she called the instructor, informing him that we were waiting. Then she leaned over and whispered theatrically, helpful hints to Chloe (*“make sure you come to a complete stop at the stop sign…the sign is set back further than normal…so, stop at the sign, then proceed slowly to the intersection…*etc). Chloe turned to me and whispered, “I love this place!”
The instructor came out less than 5 minutes later and introduced himself. His demeanor was like that of your favorite uncle. He cracked a couple jokes and put Chloe at even deeper ease. Then he said, “we’ll be back in about 20 minutes, dad, help yourself to some water in the fridge, if you want.”
~20 minutes later, Chloe and the instructor walk back in and Chloe is beaming ear-to-ear (he told her she passed even before they got out of the car).
A different clerk calls us back to her station almost immediately. She was just as pleasant as all the others. She congratulated Chloe on passing the test, took her head-shot photo, asked if she was happy with it, because it was no problem to take another photo. She wished us happy holidays and sent us on our way in minutes.
As we left that area and started back up the hall, we saw the guard looking at us with a big grin on his face. When we got to where he was, he said, “congratulations, young lady, you’re a licensed driver now!” (someone in the back obviously notified him on his walkie-talkie. What a wonderful policy!). I should have checked Google and Yelp reviews beforehand. The first DMV we went to got 1 star; this DMV got 5. Here’s their Yelp review.
THAT is the way to run a DVM. As my Nanna used to say, “you attract more flies to honey than vinegar.” If it were allowed, I would have tipped all of these wonderful DMV employees.
As soon as we got back in the car, Chloe voice-texted her friend (the one who failed just before Chloe) and said, “I passed!, you gotta get re-tested here!”
Next, she texted her big sis, “I PASSED!”
This is the DMV experience I hope my daughter remembers for life.
Then, she dropped her old man (me) off at the house, picked up her friend and went to the mall. I don’t expect to see them for a week or three.
See, some people ARE human!
Congratulations, Chloe!!!
I’m so glad she had a good experience this time. These kids are nervous already. Why freak them out even more with intimidation??
Many many years ago I worked at Tower records. The dress code was pretty lenient, but one of the rules they had was no political messages on your clothes, no matter how innocuous . (Including buttons or other accessories.) This was a record store where most of the employees were weirdos.
I can’t believe a government employee in a public facing job is permitted to wear a MAGA hat on duty. (Or a Bernie hat either.)
Great ending but now is when the knuckle-biting on your part starts.
“So, long did it take for your kid to learn to drive?”
“About two and a half cars.”
None of us know eg ‘the lame excuse’ (even if that was later explained by OP, another disembodied voice on the internet) was. We weren’t there. But I agree on both your points.
The most clear thing is that a public official in position of authority wearing what’s effectively a political symbol is going to tempt members of the public disappointed with the official’s rulings to jump to the conclusion it’s about politics (or the related culture wars, as in young women’s hair color or habit of dress allegedly making this MAGA hat wearer treat them unfairly). So state and local govt’s really should not allow employees in such positions to wear such symbols at work.
But the other thing, less 100% concrete but my feeling, is that OP might be looking for some excuse to shoot the messenger. Maybe if it wasn’t a MAGA hat, it would just be that this tester was unfair because he was old or male, or whatever else.
Perhaps this particular tester flunked these particular prospective new drivers without good reason, but it’s hard to argue that the US has a big problem in general with driving tests being too strict, at least to look at the manifestly low skill level of a lot of drivers on the road.
This reminds of when Chloe was not such a good driver…
When she was 14, she drove along with her older sister, Jana (16) and me when I was teaching big sis to drive. Chloe was jealous and pleaded with me to give her a driving lesson, too.
I resisted at first but later relented. I figured, she’s got to learn sometime and we live on a quiet cul-de-sac with no neighbors currently in sight. What harm could occur if I let her drive up and down our street?
I spent a while teaching her the layout of pedals and everything else she needed to know before turning the ignition key.
She backed slowly out the driveway and turned down toward the end of our street at ~10mph. She negotiated the sac turn-around perfectly then headed back toward our driveway. I’m thinking, hey, this girl’s going to be a damned fine driver!
*
She turned back into our driveway. I said, good job, hon, now stop.*
Stop! Stop!!!
[high pitched rev…tires squeal…CRASH/ BANG!]
She mixed up the brake and accelerator pedals and accelerated 2 feet deep into the metal garage door. Had I not then slammed my left foot on the brake pedal, we would have ended up in the kitchen.
It would have been a lot funnier if it didn’t cost me $1000 to replace the garage door.
I bust her chops about that every chance I get (tongue in cheek of course. But, hey, that thousand bucks should buy me some chop busting points, right?).
Needless to say, Chloe’s driving skills improved significantly since then. She no longer causes me to bite my knuckles.
Her sister, on the other hand, causes me to bite my knuckles down to the bone marrow. :eek:
So glad the second time around was a better experience. It makes a world of difference. Some examiners seem to think the best way to test a young driver’s ability is to intimidate the bejeebers out of them first, which is pretty stupid, if you ask me. People are already nervous. Trying to make them MORE nervous doesn’t give anyone a more accurate assessment of their abilities.
When I first moved here a few years ago, I had to go to the DMV to get a new license. I was greeted cheerfully at the door. EVERYONE was cheerful, warm, and friendly. I couldn’t believe I was at a DMV!
Hell, kaylasmom had to take driver’s ed if she wanted to graduate high school. Fortunately, she didn’t have to complete a behind-the-wheel module. And she was one of the few people in her class who didn’t get grossed out by the “Blood on the Asphalt” films…