I’ve had it with the heartless bike thieves and their trade network. My bike was nothing special. It was customized to suit me and I loved it. When some bastard stole it yesterday, I filed the report and instead of feeling helpless I declared war and did something extremely therapeutic. I hexed the thief with all the wrath I could conjure up. I filmed the event and posted it on youtube under Bike Thief Hex Chicago Style. Bike thief, you chose the wrong bike. You may be missing balls this morning.
I’m confused. What event did you film?
Capsaicin rubbed on you next bike’s handlebars might be a better hexing process.
Good luck with all that.
Joe
I think I’d be better off reading the thread about if you ever shat yourself.
Make sure you look on Craigslist and see if someone is selling it 
any bike (beater one speeds even) may be stolen to provide easy transportation while cruising looking for a more valuable bike to steal. yours may have been within walking distance of where they were dropped off to make their rounds.
Pee-Wee, is that you?
Bike Thief Hex Chicago Style
ISorry about the bike, but it would be worth stealing it just for the sake of being able to watch the hex video (which I loved!). You call that a drop of blood? I was expecting a gusher from that poker thing.
Moving thread from IMHO to The BBQ Pit.
That is hilarious.
I wonder if the thief is in Mombasa, in a bar room drinking gin.
Ha ha ha! I love everything about this. I like that his shirt says BIKE THIEF and his facial expression is one of anger. Handle bars taped “for comfort!” Terrific. Lady, if I had some way of knowing that one of the ubiquitous red bikes with baskets on them was yours, I swear I’d track it down for you. I feel your pain and loved the hex. I’ve had every bike I’ve ever owned in my entire life stolen, except the one I have now. I’ve had it for about five years, which means it’s due for a taking any day now.
Watched the video. Jiminy Cricket! I am never, ever going to mess with the OP. :eek:
I can’t decide if that is funny or scary.
I am truely sorry about your bike being stolen, but how in the world is headless, armless, and dickless Mr. Bike Thief gonna return your bike now?
It’s both. It’s scunny.
I just love Urban Neorealism cinema.
Meh. Me? I just long for the days in college when wimmen thighs like that turned me on.
Sorry about your bike, honey.
Italian neorealist masterpieces aside, bicycle thieves are scum who deserve the very worst forms of hurting.