In sources I’ve read advocating “Natural Family Planning” or whatever the heck they’re calling it nowadays, it was either implicit or explicit that it was for married couples who, should the method fail, would be able and willing to take care of a child. I don’t think they claimed it was as effective as the pill, and it certainly wouldn’t be useful in the OP’s circumstance. But when you do monitor your body temperature and cervical mucus, supposedly you can achieve quite good protection.
Course, I wouldn’t trust anything that depended on the partners having the self-control to hold off for a week and a half every cycle . . .
First off, thanks for all the replies so far! Sorry it took me a few days to get back to the thread; I went on a mini-vacation this weekend.
Thanks to everyone who said Kudos to thinking responsibly. I see people who have unprotected sex all the time and never (seem) to suffer any consequences, but I’m a pessimist and am convinced that if I ever did that, I’d instantly be pregnant or some other repurcussion. That’s a big part of why I’ve waited. I wanted to make sure that not only do I love who I have sex with, but also that I’m physically and mentally able, sure and responsible enough to deal with it. Plus, I’ve made sure that my partner and I are on the same page about “well, what IF something goes wrong?” beforehand, instead of the extreme fun of figuring that out after it’s already happened.
I think the 85% effectiveness rate (or 85-98% range) for condoms is for people who, over the course of a year, do any combination of the following: don’t use a condom every single time they have sex, rip condoms, use expired condoms, put them on inside out (heh), don’t leave space at the end for the semen to collect, use oil-based lubricants, etc. If you always are sure to follow the directions and use them carefully and consistently, it’s more like 97-98% effective (can you tell I’ve been doing a whole lot of research lately?).
I’m feeling more reassured and educated as well. Birth control is coming up soon * and condoms as well, at least until I feel a bit more confident/less paranoid.
[sub]My boyfriend is a sweetie. We also discussed the importance of birth control, which I will most likely be unable to afford very easily, since I go to uni full time and work part time (and the vast majority of my wages go towards gas and car insurance to be able to get to my classes), and he said that he’s more than willing to pay for birth control pills/patch/whatever until I’m more financially solvent. :)[/sub]
I would like to know this too. My friend in med school was quoting very different figures (I can’t recall exactly what) from what Planned Parenthood has. I’m going to see if I can dig up some actual studies (not that I have any idea where to look,) since PP doesn’t seem to have any cites.
The FAM book that I read (“Taking Charge of Your Own Fertility”) didn’t mention anything about having to be married in order to use the method, which is good, because also the last I checked, it wasn’t a requirement that a couple had to be married before they could consider having a baby. Eesh.
The method is quite effective, assuming you follow all the rules. I expect that user failure is higher with this method than with pills or condoms. Like I said, it’s not for everybody.
And you don’t have to hold off for a week and a half or however long. You can use barrier methods during the fertile phase.
I just wanted to point out that many university health centers offer greatly reduced prices on Birth Control, assuming you are covered by the basic health services plan that allows you to visit the Health center. Look into it!
I just want to applaud zweisamkeit and her partner-to-be on their sensibility about testing as well as birth control.
Asking a future partner to get tested is a tough thing to do, because you are usually in the early stages of a relationship and some people may take that as an accusation of previous bad behaviour.
Remember, you can get STDs from hetero style sex with non-skeevy people. It is worth asking for testing for your own peace of mind.
Sex is a lot more likely to be a very wonderful experience if you are smart about it.
There are two different effectiveness rates for any method of birth control–the perfect use rate, and the typical use rate. The perfect use rate is exactly what it sounds like, the effectiveness when you do everything exactly right every single time. For condoms, that means you never let the penis get near the vagina till it’s wrapped, always have plenty of water-based lubrication so there’s no friction, never expose the condom to heat or cold, check to make sure it hasn’t come off during sex, pull out immediately afterward while holding the condom in place, etc. Every single time.
Now, most people don’t do everything just exactly perfectly every single time. They tend to screw up at least once in a while, and those screwups reduce the effectiveness of your birth control. That’s where the typical use rate comes in. Typical use is the effectiveness with an average number of slip-ups. The more places there are for user error, the bigger a difference there typically is between perfect use and typical use rates. Thus methods like condoms and bcp have rather significant differences between the rates, while methods like Depo and iuds don’t. Of course, by varying what you consider an average number of mistakes, you can come up with wildly different typical use failure rates.
I bought, and read, this book as well (my GF is less interested in the reading part but does take her temp and give me a rather graphic description of her fluids ).
It’s really a very good method if you shy away from drugs. We still use condoms during “high fertility” days but otherwise use no protection (except withdraw) with no problems for 2 years. FAM is very effective. The only time I can see FAM failing would be couples who have sex too close to their ovulation date and the women ovulates too early (sperm apparently can remain alive for 5 days in the fluids of a fertile women). We use condoms 8 days before (and 2 days after) ovulation so even though we miss out on 10 days of un-protected sex, it’s easier on our condom costs
I see people who have unprotected sex all the time and never (seem) to suffer any consequences, but I’m a pessimist and am convinced that if I ever did that, I’d instantly be pregnant or some other repurcussion. That’s a big part of why I’ve waited. I wanted to make sure that not only do I love who I have sex with, but also that I’m physically and mentally able, sure and responsible enough to deal with it. Plus, I’ve made sure that my partner and I are on the same page about “well, what IF something goes wrong?” beforehand, instead of the extreme fun of figuring that out after it’s already happened.
).