Strained attempt to insert circumcision related insult…with an homage to JDT
Original newbie poster returns under sock puppet handle. Agrees with and congratulates self. Heaps ridicule on all previous posters, except self. Generic complaint that SCMB is uninteresting and poorly run. More on-line mental masturbation, culminating in threat to flood the board with sock puppets.
Member accuses OP of sock puppetry, trollery and other sins against the SDMB.
Warns DNFTT.
Gloats about the coming of the moderators to bitch slap the OP.
Continues posting and rambling in an effort to avoid doing something actually productive. Grudgingly ends when there is just no other way to continue the post and starts writing paper.
strained attempt at humor
brave general agreement with those flaming the OP
question of why this thread is so long when obviously everyone had troll figured out
realization that by posting he is an idiot
weak apology
(post count pad)
irrelevant sig
Confusing and misleading comparision of OP’s rant to circ and/or Indecision 2000 threads.
Quote strained witticism from Jon Stewart regarding origin of phrase.
Hijack rant re: the election, wherein McKenna presents her side in a way that shows she has completely missed the point of the opposite side’s case. Gentle corrections from others blithely ignored. End of hijack.
Brilliant defense of Pit, with one word mistyped that totally invalidates the argument (like “do” instead of “don’t”).
Poorly attempted smiley ;(
Quote from Duckman or Jerri Blank that elicited faint smiles the first hundred times McKenna used it. Decision that I am too tired to preview. Submit
Me, too!
Reminder that a similar thread exists despite the previous post noting the same thing. Plans to back it up by claiming not to have read the thread.
Attempt at witty continuance of thread style.
Self-promotional sig
Poster describes himself yawning.
Explanation of why poster does not bother to tear the OP to shreds.
Sarcastic grumbling about how the old times were much better.
Addition that moderator status changes freedom to tear people to shreds. Snickering comment that it’s still possible, of course. Wink smilie.
Promise to all female posters that no flaming will ever occur to them in exchange for sufficient amounts of <insert perverted sexual act here>.
Warning that Esprix and matt_mcl need carefully read that last sentence. Repeating of the word “female”, in bold. Stick-out-tongue smilie. Note that said smilie does not imply a desire to perform felatio. Wink smilie.
Standard disclaimer explaining that poster is not a homophobe, and that some of his best friends are gay. Addition that one of posters gay friends helped out tremendously during redecorating posters apartment.
Since this is the Pit, a list of four letter words is included.
Mention of the fact that a mod has appeared in the thread without locking this clearly unfair argument. Further “proof” of elite clique/moderator conspiracy submitted.
Tearful assertation that the OP is in the right and that the other posters are just ganging up on s/he/it.
Statement regarding unnecessary cynicism and coldheartedness in regular Dopers. Appeal to warm, fuzzy, holiday-type feelings. Gratuitous references to vague, snuggly, “Touched By an Angel”-style deity.
Mispelings.
Vow to leave board forever, pray for posters’ souls.
Witty, intelligent retort.
More flirting with matt to proclaim pride in self.
Esprix
Gratuitous self-promotional .sig
Witty rejoiner revolving loosely around the theme of, “Not if you were the last man on Earth.” Winking smilie to indicate kiddingness, or perhaps coquettishness.
Invites matt_mcl to visit San Diego. Number of days until move - woo hoo!
Esprix
Gratuitous self-promotional .sig
Unrelated extended and incomprehensible rant attributing World War II to the well-known fact that Hitler was circumcised.
Complete and utter obliviousness to sarcasm, irony, logic, sanity, any other remarks on this thread, any other thread, and anything anyone else has ever said anywhere else ever.
Complaint that the above caused some manner of non-bodily produced liquid to spew from reader’s nose, with resultant damage to monitor/keyboard, particularly in conjunction with image from JDT thread regarding ClogDick…but no link provided.
Mention that poster has nothing else to add to conversation and is clearly simply padding post count.
Uses double colons to announce return to thread.
Posts something that seemed witty at the time.
Awkwardly sucks up to Esprix and Coldfire in order to be indoctrinated into the SDMB Cool Kids’ Club.
Reasserts position that OP wouldn’t know ass from elbow if either was on fire.
Rolleyes smiley.
<unecessary repeat of sig>
Remark that poster thinks is devastatingly original, except he didn’t bother to read the whole thread and doesn’t realize that someone else got to it about 40 posts ago.
…have always wanted to make a “me too” post.
me too!
Defence of poster accused of being a sockpuppet. Insistence that accusations of sockpuppetry be addressed to the mods and not as a public post.
Response to defense of sockpuppet, also noting poster’s poor spelling. Elaborate etymological analysis of sockpuppet’s present name and it’s relation to other previously used names of random banned poster.
(inscrutable sig relating to both Deep Space Nine and Ackbar and Jeff. mention of Swiddles-awarded Sainthood and praise from a popular poster)
Quotes from previous threads, but avoids quoting an entire thread so that a certain individual would not be utterly pissed off.
Vague attempt at maintaining continuity of thread topic in a thinly disguised attempt at boosting post count.
Slight hijack with comment that this thread is very similar to an old thread in another area of the SDMB.
Link not provided when title of referenced thread does not pop into memory.
Apology for lack of link.
Clever signature that attempts to demonstrate general hipness
–the Shy Ghost
Badly spelled, completely unpunctuated post by OP’s high school buddy claiming that all you guys suck.
Disgusting amount of kissy-kissy noises made at OP. Criminal overuse of smilies, exclamation points, and substitution of single letters or numbers for whole words.
Personal details so laughably pathetic a new Pit thread is started about then. Further assertion that U Gyz SUK!
sig line mentioning any three of the following: unicorns, rainboys, Jesus, high school football team, abstinence-only sex ed, and incoherent ramblings on circumcision.