I was raised with Christmas, but the holidays were not generally a happy time in my family. My parents weren’t into celebrating and often debated with each other how much to “bother” with. It was hard for this only child to overhear that from the other room. Tensions between my parents were cranked up at Christmas and Christmas Day usually ended with someone slamming angrily out of the room and gloomy silence prevailing for the rest of the day.
There’s a lot of pressure to be happy or at least look happy at holiday time, and if you’re going through a rough patch, whether money-related, job-related, health-related, or relationship-related, you can feel like everyone in the world is having a good time except you (even if intellectually you know that isn’t true).
Anyone else have ambivalent feelings about the Christmas season?
Personally, I hate it. Grew up in poverty, which translates into nameless church people dropping wrapped mittens on our doorstep on Christmas morning. Raised my kids largely in poverty, which translates into “which bills can I put off until next month so the kids will have something to unwrap?” Even though I’m in a better financial position, I still hate just about everything associated with the “holiday season”–Christmas songs, lights all over houses, crowded stores, all of it.
At the risk of sounding like a Scrooge (too late, eh?), I keep it to myself and wish everyone a Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays (whatever they prefer) and do give the kids presents. However, I don’t decorate at all and don’t do typical holiday things, like bake Christmas cookies, drive around to see the lights, go to holiday concerts, etc.
Personally, it is not my favorite time of year but not because of any bad memories. It’s just stressful, and I know I don’t go through half the stress of some people. I have a friend that has so much going on I really do think she is going to end up sick.
Now, New Years that is associated with unhappy memories. My father-in-law passed away. I loved him like my own dad and my dad was my hero.
This. I spent many years gradually ratcheting down expectations (both mine and family’s) so that this time of year can actually be as pleasant as possible. Fortunately my husband agreed with this long ago, and being on the same page about it helps a great deal.