At the beginning of December, I was barraged by a lot of anti-Christmas sentiment. Actually, this goes on as long as the christmas-y stuff is around, but it really comes to a head in December (duh!). It seems like NOBODY likes Christmas. All the anti-consumerists come out and rant at me about being a mindless consumerist drone…yadda yadda yadda. Even my friends hate Christmas, they only equate it with stress and dread every moment.
I for one love Christmas. I still like getting a stocking full of goodies Christmas day; I still enjoy getting presents from ‘Santa’ even though Santa’s handwriting is suspiciously similar to my mother’s 
I still like shopping for presents for my friends and family. I don’t like to approach things with a sense of dread-who knows how things will turn out; I’m not going to sabatoge a potentially good thing just because I’m ‘worried it will turn out bad’.
However, it seems like me, being one of the most optimistic people about the holidays, had to get hit the hardest with holiday-related unpleasent-ness. I was (still am) quite ill through the holidays, putting a damper on all the great gifts and food. Being with my extended family I felt awkward and insecure for some odd reason which is a sharp contrast to the normally close ties I have with them. Some gifts were barely delivered on time and I was worried to death they wouldn’t make it on time. Some presents were bought the day before Christmas even though this year I vowed to finish all my shopping BEFORE December. I had looked forward to all the free time off school, but I feel like I am busier now than I was when school was still going. I thought, “Maybe after christmas after all the shopping is done I’ll have time” but no, there always manages to be something that I have to do. I’m tired all the time and highly unmotivated to do much of ANYTHING…I wish it could’ve been better because I really do enjoy Christmas normally! Really!
