I ran into a parked truck.
No no no, I was running on foot. The resulting gash from the corner of the very much metal truck was about a quarter inch deep and frighteningly close to my left eye.
When I was a kid I managed to stick a meat-fork well into my forehead attempting to use it to open one of those frustratingly-thick plastic potato chip bags that just stretfched a little and turned opaque when you tried to rip them open. (And usually burst open explosively when you did manage it, scattering chips all over the room.)
Strong enough to drive a fork into my skull, but not quite strong enough to get at the damned Salt 'n Vinegar goodness.
I’m just glad I missed the eyes.
ARTHUR:
A duck!
[/QUOTE]
[Marx brothers] OK, I’ll bite, why a duck? [/MB]
Update: it hurts a lot more and looks worse, now. 
Last week my trapezius and assorted other muscles finally decided to revolt. I spent an interminable meeting at work slouched in a chair desperately trying to stay awake, then when the meeting started winding down I straightened up and gave a real good stretch–at which point I felt a strange ripping sensation in my scalp as some fascia gave way. Simultaneously, something managed to briefly compress my trigeminal nerve. (Imagine giving your funny bone a good hard whack, only that sensation is on one side of your face.) It wasn’t a real fun day.
Since we’re trading bizarre and painful injuries now…
Once when I was six or seven, I was sleeping in and my mom was trying to wake me up. My sister (about a year and a half younger) decided to help by jumping on my bed, while I was in it.
Not under any circumstances responsible for sympathy pains…
She landed a foot right in my crotch, slipped, and fell over on top of me. Halfway tore the tip off. I carried the scarring for years.
I’m told it took both my parents to keep me from trying to beat her senseless after I could move again.
Later she got revenge on herself for me when she tripped and fell on the sidewalk. The peculiarities of this impact drove one of her baby teeth straight back into the jaw from whence it came, and it took a couple months for it to re-emerge and decide to fall out.
I once got up to pee but walked into my door. I don’t mean into the flat part of the door, I mean the edge, straight on. It hurt, and I had a swollen line down my face the next morning.
weeps
…and I thought I was unfortunate when I received a big black circumferential blood blister when my girlfriend suddenly fell over backwards, out of bed.
That’s pretty harsh, man.
I once cut my finger.
On purpose.
Because I needed to sign something and I didn’t have a pen.
I usually win these kinds of threads, yeah. =/
Fifteen years AP (After Pain) and normal to all visual inspection, I guess I can say that it’s lucky for both of us we weren’t any older. She would’ve been heavier, I wouldn’t heal as well, and there isn’t a man on Earth who would’ve convicted me.
<post snipped>
I can tie that.
TMI Warning
When I was about 8 or 9 I was riding my bike out in the desert. The grips on my handle bars weren’t the best, the ends had worn off so the metal was sticking out the ends. I was hauling ass down a trail and hit a rock. The bars took <takes a peek> a hard left and the end of the bars caught me in the crotch and managed to cut Mr. Happy just about in half. Lots of blood. I made it home somehow and showed my Mom who freaked. A trip to the doctor ensued. All is well now, no permanent damage and Mr. Happy functions just fine but damned that was scary. I still have a scar.
Slee
I have lost count how many times I have done this, or simple vairations on the theme.
Last December I was standing in the middle of a thunderstorm trying to being some campers onto our school oval, while talking on a mobile phone. Given that I find it absolutley impossible to stand still while talking on a mobile phone, I was walking around, head tucked tight inside my rainhood. What I did not notice was the children’s playground in my path, especially the head high bright yellow monkey bars. Whack! Thunk! Zonk! Goodnight! I came to being offered hot, sweet tea by a concerned pair of campervanners… net result - one 2 inch wide purple bruise on my forehead that lasted almost six weeks and a very sore neck.
mm
Did your cow-orkers call social services, fearing your partner is violent, after explaining you actually did walk into a door?
I have a scar on my right pinkie finger which occured while shaving my legs. I still can’t quite figure out how I did it, considering the positioning of the scar, but I know that’s when it happened.
My husband stubbed his toe on a suitcase once. Then he left the room, came back, and stubbed his toe on the suitcase again. He broke it that time.
I won’t even go into all his other cuts, bruises, breaks and other random injuries he’s managed to acquire over the years. One day, I will place him in a padded room wrapped in bubble wrap to keep him safe! Thing is, he isn’t really clumsy, but when he hurts himself, he REALLY hurts himself!
I once broke my arm playing Win Lose or Draw.
I suspect I may have fractured a bone in my wrist just the other day when the lid of my briefcase slammed shut on it. I had it sitting open and was trying to put some things into it when the top half (which of course was full of pens, floppy disks, files, etc. decided to succumb to the laws of gravity. :smack:
I couldn’t feel my thumb for about three days, and my arm was numb along one side almost all the way to my wrist. Unfortunately this happened on a Friday. I decided it wasn’t really bad enough to go to the emergency room, so I just stuck it out. It’s almost a week later, and I still have a swollen lump on my wrist
Not me, but a close friend of mine got a deep gash on his hand that required an emergency room trip and stiches from throwing a ceramic duck at the ground.
I dislocated my kneecap and got a torn meniscus from freakin’ WALKING. Planted my leg and my knee went sideways. Beat that.
I know somebody who got kicked in the head by a giraffe. Damn near took their scalp off. He has a nasty scar on the top of his head thanks in part to a drunken doctor.
I threw my back out yawning. I couldn’t turn my head for three days.
I broke my arm while standing still on a push scooter.
I dislocated my knee sitting quietly on the living room floor.
My mother dropped a dictionary on her hand and broke two bones in her wrist.